My Son is Addicted to Power

in funny •  8 years ago 

I walked in my son’s room and what did I see?
He’s making school posters saying “Vote for Me”
I should have seen it coming, I guess I should have known
But I really didn’t expect it from one of my own

It started last year when he joined the Student Council
I didn’t suspect a thing, I just thought he was ill
But there he is studying, staying after school
Student Body President – definitely not cool

I said, “Son, we are hippies, let live and let live
We are not the takers, we are the ones who give
Spread peace and harmony wherever you go
Tap into the Universe and go with the flow

He said, “Aw Dad, I won’t get rich doing that
I’ll start a foundation when my wallet is fat
I just couldn’t take it. I pulled out some herb
I said, “Son let’s smoke a fatty before I get perturbed

Be like your brother – he is high as a kite
You don’t see him grabbing for power and might
He said, “Dad, peace and love are overrated
I want to live in a neighborhood that is gated”

“I want a limousine that will drive me to work
Where I’ll get a big fat bonus.” He said with a smirk
“Say it’s not true. You must be joking”
I pulled out my bong and started chain-smoking

I couldn’t take it any longer. I started to swoon
He’s addicted to power – another Wall Street Tycoon
Like that’s what we need
Another hedge fund manager getting high on greed

My own DNA has become a demon seed
Plundering the earth to fill his endless needs
Don’t go down this path, it leads to death and destruction
He said, “Not for me. That’s not my dysfunction

I’m heading to Goldman Sachs where I’ll do God’s work
I thought, “You f-cking bastard. Really, what a jerk”
He became Class President, promised all kinds of sh!t
And as you can imagine, he delivered none of it.

Got a B.S. in Economics and off to Harvard Law
Grabbing millions of bucks with his grubby little paws
Dating a supermodel – shoving cocaine up her nose
And every day his greed just grows and grows and grows

Trading in derivatives and pushing CDO’s
Counting all his millions on his fingers and his toes
You try to raise your kid’s right and this is how it goes
They destroy all humanity. It really frickin blows

Now I have a new dilemma – a real peach
He just bought us a home on Palm Beach
You know I love the ocean – it’s got a great surf break
So now I’m a hypocrite. I’m on the take

It would be impolite to turn down this generous gift
I don’t want to insult my son and get him pissed
Now we live in luxury, although I really should hate it
It’s really kind of nice living in a neighborhood that is gated

There’s no moral to the story, ’cause I’ve lost them all
Selling out feels great we’re having a ball
I don’t know why I ever cared about the poor and huddled masses
I’ll throw them some pocket change just to help the lower classes

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Wow .. Says so much about Society.