What to say on your Tinder date...

in funny •  7 years ago 

While Crypto has been exploding you’ve stopped going out. You can’t remeber when you gave less attempts at meeting girls. Your friends currently fall into two groups the zombied out crypto obsessed traders, and the people who think you’re crazy. As a product of either being on your phone too much or not out socializing enough you‘ve been swiping on Tinder. A lot. After about a dozen matches and quite a few random messages you strike a conversation with a girl that potentially, maybe, could be worth a night AFK.

You agree to meet for dinner. You‘ve set your limit orders before meeting up. While the time away from trading admittedly has you anxious there is always the potential for perfect limit order execution returning to even more gains than expected. In this moment you’re excited. Not for the date. For Gains!

The time has come to meet up and while you wait for he uber you decide that you want to check your account. You’ve alrady told yourself that the date would be a good time to get your mind off of crypto, but then again the date hasn’t started. The uber ride is short, but using the same logic you pull out your phone and check your orders one ‘last’ time before your date/meet up/desperate attempt at sex.

The two of you meet and things are going great. She’s pretty and quite engaging. Turns out her marketing gig is actually a data job, she’s just too embarrassed to tell guys she’s geeky. She talks about how cool Tableau is and how good she is at it. While the itch to check your phone is there you can resist. You are interested in this girl you can‘t screw it up. Resisting was easy at first, but after three drinks you can’t help yourself. You excuse yourself to the bathroom to check your limit orders. No action! You return to the table slightly calmer, but your date has mentally checked out. Before asking her if she is one ok you can’t help but peel at her phone. While you anticipate some instagram scrolling/hearting bender, you recognize something. The Bitfinex app.

You’re heart is racing. You don‘t know what to say. Did she do this on purpose? Does she know how advanced Bitfinex is? Does she know that you’ve been trading crypto 24/7 for the past 6 months? The image of the two of you racing his and her lambos comes to you. You know how well you‘ve done lately. What if her gains are even better? The date, yes date, was all worth it you’ve found the ‘one’. Someone to chat about scaling, blockchain, protocol, proof of work, and store of value. Her intelligence has been gleaming all night while she talked about her job, maybe she’s familiar with the work of Dr. Craig Wright.

You’re ready to speak, but don’t know what to say. Before you open your mouth she lifts her head and smiles in a way that for some reason you understand. You understand that she understands you understand. She speaks. You are holding on to the moment. Her mouth moves, but you dont hear anything. You think to yourself how far this was from what you expected. How could a Tinder date lead to someone with depth. Someone who understands you. Someone who understands crypto. In a snap back to reality you apologize and ask your date to repeat herself. What she says changes everything...

"Did you set your limit orders?"

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