Help Wanted: Gallows builders and Noose loopers

in funny •  7 years ago  (edited)

Memo's impending release...





Immediate Help Wanted!


So many executions, so few gallows.

Gallows builders wanted


Noose loopers desperately NEEDED (60 percent or greater success rate, please)


Also looking for a hangman - Must have own hood.


(experience preferred, but will train, must be over 12 and able to pull a rope with a force > 12 pounds)

$5,000 Sign on bonus after 1st hundred kills

Please send resume with a letter of introduction, and pictures (before and after) of past work to:

Human Resources.
PO BOX 445
WASHINGTON, DC

"Mommy, that lady is playing peek a boo with me"

"Mommy, mommy - can I hold the rope?"

"No dear, you're too young."

"But I'll be five, next week"

"and i promise not to let it go until the man in the hood says so."

"That's what you said last time, dear."

"Were they really going to kill us all, mommy?"

"No dear, just the Americans."

"Mommy, mommy, please ask everyone to...."

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Yes

been years since I have tie a hang mans noose.
may take me an hr to get the hang of it again ;-)
..should be able to do at least 4 an hour..
:-)
willing to do 4 per sbd. you provide rope and pay postage.