An Army Story or Two...

in funny •  6 years ago 

@dollarsandsense wrote a piece a little over a week ago with some funny stories from his time in the army and they're pretty damn good. After 9 years in the National Guard I have a few of my own I figure I'll share!

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We'll start with the most glorious place I've ever dropped a deuce! Nothing particularly funny happenee at this location in Afghanistan, but it's not all that often you get to take a dump with nothing but the sky above while sitting on a real toilet seat!
But the real winner was the view!

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Now to an actually funny story...

The year was 2013... It was July in Southeast Virginia at a beautiful locale, Ft. Pickett. The weather was oppressively hot and humid as is the norm for the area.
We were there for a 3 week Annual Training. We'd been in the field for most of those 3 weeks and had only one major training event left... A 15 mile ruck.

We were moved off the ranges to where we would step off for our road march the next morning.
All was well, we started setting up our shelters for the night and then the rain came. And boy oh boy did it rain... Thunderstorms are a regular occurrence in the heat and humidity of a VA summer, but this was a real dumper.
So much in fact that one of my good buddies decided it was time for a shower. This man stripped naked and started lathering up!
In no time our whole squad was either naked or in boxers in the middle of the pouring rain having a good old fashioned shower.

Our commander, having pity on our pour heat addled brains decided to have pity on us. He said if we wanted to wait for the rain to stop then start rucking as soon as we got back we could go to sleep and have the next day off.
And that's how a naked shower in the rain turned into a day off!

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That's a funny story. He must have assumed that you all were bonkers and needed the time to get your wits about you.

Great view from that toilet! Lovely, if not desolate countryside.

Afghanistan is a breathtakingly beautiful in many ways It's the bombs and bullets that detract from that hahaha

I think that most people would agree that bombs and bullets tend to detract from the beauty of a place, especially if they're considering going to said place. Glad you made it back!

Hahaha nice! What a champ.

I topped out at 12 miles myself. That was rough. It is not something you can just go and do. You really need to be conditioned for it first, or you'll tear your feet to shreds!

Thanks for sharing, glad you did :D

Most I ever did while I was in was 18... Just did 27 back in May with GORUCK, goal was 50+ but weather and minor injuries prevented that.
And yea foot conditioning is a huge part.

I'll share other funnies as they come to me... And the statute of limitations expire 🤣🤣🤣

That's craziness to me. Good for you, man!

Haha, alright sounds good, looking forward to it! Yeah after we got back from deployment, all the stories started to come out... I just had to walk away from hearing some of them, heh.

You know it's done in the military. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. Lulz. A shower in the rain...#makessense. Love the toilet picture

Gotta make the best of what you got!

Ah such a glorious view. Such a majestic place to shit.

Best shit I ever took!

Oh thank you! I’ll add a thunderstorm shower scene in my novel! This will be fun... 🤣