Attaining Wisdom Through Golf - Don't Think Of A Monkey: Overcoming Your Fears

In golf as in life we often produce what we fear, that is to say if a golfer who has been playing well all day, approaches a fairway with a lake to one side of it, and then thinks to himself; 'Don't hit it in the lake'.

More often than not the golfer will hit the ball into the lake.

When you read the title of this post did you not think of a monkey; or did one pop into your head?

Chances are you thought of a monkey, even though I told you not to. This is because the word 'don't' is a completely abstract concept, whereas the word 'monkey' is immediately definable.

Changing Your Fear Associations

Think about something that makes you anxious, scared or simply uncomfortable. It might be a social situation, one of your colleagues or associates, or an animal that you have a phobia of.

As you're doing this I want you to monitor your breathing. You'll probably find that your breath is shallow, or that you are holding it altogether!

This is because the mind is very image driven, and so when you visualise the thing that scares you, your body will respond in the same way it would if you were really facing that fear.

You can immediately begin to work on this by visualising the thing that scares you again, but this time concentrate on making your breathing calm and deep.

Relaxed Breathing

In order to take a relaxed breath your body has to be in a relaxed state. In other words you cannot hunch your shoulders or slouch as you breath in.

Make a mental sweep of your body from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. As you perform the 'sweep' and focus on various parts of your body, feel any excess tension melt away.

The best way to do this is to recognise how much natural tension it requires for you to be sitting (or standing) up straight. That way you can differentiate between the natural tension you need to hold good posture, and the kind that makes you tense.

Once you have determined this tension threshold, you can use deep breathing to relax.

Stress Relief

In golf and in life in general it is important to be able to remain calm in potentially stressful situations. The reason being is when you are stressed you release a hormone called cortisol.

This is the chemical we release when we are in 'fight or flight' mode. It has the effect of shutting down the frontal lobe of the brain, which you use for rational thought and forward planning.

This is because 'fight or flight' is one of the oldest instincts there is, and it evolved to get us (and other animals) away from large predators and other potentially life-threatening situations.

Therefore the last thing you want to do in those situations is to intellectualise. However modern living is such that we get equally stressed about losing a game of golf, or a late tax bill as we do about seeing a lion jump out of the bushes.

Running from a lion is probably wise, however it is even wiser to learn how to stay calm in non-life threatening situations.

Think Do Instead Of Don't

So as Zen Golf says, rather than focusing on what you don't want to do, instead concentrate on the positive outcome you want to happen.

Ignore the metaphorical lake and imagine your ball bouncing happily along the fairway and coming to rest in a perfect spot, ready for you to take the next shot.

Don't try and block the monkey out of your mind, just think of another animal instead, that way you begin to bend your mind to your will and not have it be the other way around.

Zen Golf is an instructional book on how to master the mental side of golf. However the author, Dr Joseph Parent offers up many lessons that can be used in the larger game of life. In this series I am attempting to take those lessons and interpret them for you, if you are a golfer, or if you're simply interested in Zen and mindfulness practices, I highly recommend the book.

DO YOU HAVE PROBLEMS WITH STRESS; WILL YOU TRY OUT THIS SIMPLE BREATHING EXERCISE? AS EVER, LET ME KNOW BELOW!

Title image: Jared Rice on Unsplash

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