GOVERNMENTIUM

in government •  7 years ago 

 I found this in a book I'm reading Something for Nothing by Brain Tracy  

A major research institution (MRI) has recently announced the discovery  of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element  has been tentatively named Governmentium. Governmentium has 1 neutron,  12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy  neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held  together by forces called morons, which are surrounded  by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since  governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected  as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute  amount of governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to  complete when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium  has a normal half-life of three years; it does not decay, but instead  undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons  and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium's mass will  actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause some  morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

 This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to  speculate that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain  quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as  Critical Morass.

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