I thought it would be neat to remind myself of all of the things I have to be grateful for:
I know it isn't Thanksgiving yet but I honestly don't celebrate Thanksgiving. I do however like to be grateful.
1. Greg.
He is my best friend and I have known him longer than anyone currently in my life. I first started talking to him online about 13 years ago and we were friend since then. I recently moved in with him and we ended up rekindling our romance from a decade earlier so now I am dating my best friend and it is absolutely wonderful and makes me very happy. I feel very grateful to have found someone I can by myself around. We sometimes annoy one another but it's just because we are both aspies and we are both quirky as fuck. But, I wouldn't have him any other way.
2. The friendship I had with Beffy.
Even though she died our friendship was the greatest love I have ever known in my life. I don't believe anything will ever rival it. We met when we were 16 and tripped on acid together and laid in bed telling one another about our (similarly fucked up) childhoods. We stayed friends for over a decade before she passed. During that decade we cuddled, shared bubble baths, told one another just about ever secret we had, comforted each other through hard, hard times and laughed and had the most fun together other times. She showed me how much she loved me every day and that was something I really loved about Bethanie. After the sadness of losing her started to fade a bit I realized how lucky I was to ever have experienced such a friendship.
3. SO many other amazing friends.
I can't even easily count how many other close, supportive, amazing friends I have. Some of them I know online others in real life though far away. I feel I have a great abundance in the friend department and they've saved me many times over. I am not sure where I would be without the love, support, and guidance from all my amazing friends. Through all of my greatest hardships I was fortunate enough to have someone by my side time and time again. I realize this is not something everyone has and am very grateful that I have such a wonderful framily.
Like this girl, whose stuck by me during so many hard times.
and this girl who I have known since we were 16 and getting into trouble, being young and reckless and partying hard.
There's too many great friends in my life to give them all a proper shout out and for that I am so grateful.
4. Having a home and food, at the moment.
Though it is sometimes a struggle paying bills and making end's meet I am grateful to currently be in a nice room that is furnished and to have food in my fridge and cupboards and coffee I can make, even soy creamer to put in it. Greg takes me to nice restaurants too and I usually even get a cocktail or beer with my food. So beyond just basic food to survive I get spoiled with fancy meals at nice places sometimes and that's definitely a luxury and a reason to be grateful. ^_^ People all over the world are currently homeless and unable to eat so I should regularly remind myself how fortunate I am to be warm and fed.
5. My large collection of books.
I love going to used book stores and buying books from thrifybooks online and have acquired hundreds and hundreds of books. Mostly, must read, classics but also a good chunk of s ci-fi and all the David Sedaris books, Haruki Murakami. A good bit of variety really. I currently have at least five books I haven't yet read, probably more like ten. It is really great to be able to look through my collection and pick out a book of my pleasing at any time and curl up and read. A lot of people don't even have access to education/knowledge and I have any book I could possibly want at my fingertips, literally. I am incredibly grateful for that.
6. Mouse, my cat.
This cat is one spoiled and sometimes HORRIBLY annoying beast. If I leave her in my room for even a few minutes she starts howling by the door relentlessly for many hours. That shit is annoying as fuck considering I sometimes want to sleep in my boyfriend's room but he has rats so she needs to stay in the bedroom. -_- However, regardless of her annoying habits she has also offered me companionship for 8 years and is loving, affectionate, playful, silly, and a general joy to be around. I love that little bugger so much I can't even begin to imagine life without her by my feet. I am, very much, grateful for her existence.
7. Being able to make art.
I am very glad I have been able to have time and the tools over many years to practice my craft and my passion and become an artist. Creating art gives me purpose and brings happiness to others who purchase and hang my art, or buy and color my books. I like creating and sharing my art with the world and my life would be very empty without it. I am fortunate to have pencils, charcoal, markers, paints, paper, easels. There were times I couldn't afford basic art supplies but over time I have built up quite the supply and I feel very happy to have the tools I need when I get inspired to create.
8. A semi-healthy body.
Though I actually have some pretty gnarly diseases I am better off than many people. I can usually walk even if only for short periods and near a bathroom. I can stand, stretch, use my hands for creating and while my diseases are chronic and incurable none of them are fatal. I am not facing death or completely bed-ridden at the moment. In fact, reducing stress has greatly improved my health and I am experiencing much less pain from my interstitial cystitis. I feel very happy to have this semi-working body even if sex is still for some reason painful.
9. Being in a state where I can get medicaid.
The last point made me realize I am now in MN and as soon as I get my MN id I can apply for medicaid and qualify. I did not qualify in FL because I have no kid but in MN I will qualify and can at the least get answers about my illnesses. There isn't really great treatment options for IC or endo (which may be causing the painful sex) but with a diagnosis there is a chance I could improve my condition at least somewhat and also in time there may be better medications. Just being able to see a doctor will be amazing. I will also be able to get therapy and medications for my mental issues. (depression, anxiety, PTSD) Though, I have not yet gotten this taken care of and seen doctors I will be able to soon and it will likely be life-changing. Being as I lived in FL for many years with no access to medical help I needed I definitely realize how fortunate I am in this regard.
10. Steemit!
Though, I haven't been blogging as steadily lately I still love steemit and it literally gave me the money for my move to another state and for all the furniture in my room. Steemit gave me income in a transitional time in my life and made a huge difference. I was even able to get myself a nice used DSLR which has been very useful, and a stationary recumbent bike so I can work out in a way that won't hurt me. I also have made connection here, have rekindled a passion for writing, have started thinking more critically, and have been introduced to the world of crypto-currency. I will forever be grateful for all the neat things I gained when I found steemit.
Heck, I love it so much I made an illustrated love story about it:
https://steemit.com/steemit/@lauralemons/steemit-an-illustrated-love-story
While I was writing this,
I came up with so many more reasons I am grateful and reasons to be happy. In fact, it improved my mood/mindset so much that I am going to dedicate one of my many pretty journals I got on clearance ('nother thing to be grateful for) to writing about why I am grateful every morning. I think this could be a practice that really helps keep my mind in a happy place.
Wow!
What a great post!
If it requires thanksgiving to be consciously grateful life is gonna suck!
It is great to see you specifically and in depth list what you are most grateful for. This is beneficial for everybody.
With that being said I have found it to be life changing and empowering to simply learn to FEEL GRATEFUL just for the sake of feeling grateful! Yes there are plenty of things to be grateful for but also all those things could make us feel NOT grateful. Say for example your cat dies....Then that gratitude turns to sadness. Or say your BF breaks up with you....Sadness...Yet to be able to simply CONSCIOUSLY FEEEL gratitude for the sake of feeling gratitude is a WHOLE NEW PARADIGM!
Thanks for sharing uplifting and beneficial content. I am following you and hope to see your valuable contributions to come!
Bless~*~
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Such a great daily practice. I need to get better at this. Thanks for the reminder :)
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Thank you. I need to get better at it too. We both needed a reminder. :D
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Same here. I do try my best to give thanks for all the wonderful blessings I enjoy every day, not least among themy friends, family, my health, and the fact I have a roof over my head and food in the kitchen. We should never forget to be thankful for the smallest things. :)
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We reap what we sow
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Well, being grateful and loving yourself leads to happiness.... Stay awesome :-)
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Thanks and yes it does. I am on the right road but still have some work to do. I think this morning gratitude routine will go a long way though. ^_^
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Great mindset, I like this! Upvoted & followed
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Thank you. ^_^
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I was curious to read that you and your boyfriend have Asperger's as several of the Aspie teens I have known (former stepson, a neighbour's daughter, and my son's tutor buddy way back when) were very much loners and seemed asexual. Are you and your partner fairly high functioning or do either of you require assistance with tedious chores or managing day-to-day life? I ask because my neighbour's 22-year-old daughter seems much younger than she is and rarely leaves her parents' home. She volunteers a little and does not have friends or a social life but appears to be content.
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We actually are pretty non sexual. I have been living here a little over a month and we kinda tried to have sex once in that time. We mostly just cuddle and do closed mouth kisses. My last ex wanted a lot of sex and it caused some real issues. We are also very much loners. We stay in most of the time and are content that way. I have friends but mainly they are online, same with him. We are um....I don't know how functioning. I guess high. He works every day. I don't even know if I could. The less I work on going out and making myself socialize the less I feel capable of doing it. At this point I publish coloring books and make art and tee shirt designs and stuff. I have trouble managing my day to day life but that could be do to other mental issues I have. Oh, and he and I both seem younger than we are. XD I feel super fortunate to be with him because I don't think I could have a functioning relationship with an NT honestly.
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Fascinating. It's very heartening to hear that you and your partner share emotional intimacy. I think neurotypicals (like me) naturally assume that asexual couples lack an emotional or mental connection. You must be high-functioning since you're living on your own and currently seeking solutions for your health issues. I hear you re: "the less I work on going out and making myself socialize the less I feel capable of doing it." As someone dealing with self-isolation, I understand what you mean which is why I'm going all-out with my September Experiments (posted on my blog) in order to break free of the "quiet velvet cave" that I'm enjoying too much. My therapist told me that once you begin to narrow and limit your world in order to feel less discomfort...the more uncomfortable it becomes to break out of the small hole you've dropped yourself into. At the same time, I don't believe people with Asperger's should be manipulated or forced into into having a social life as I can see just how difficult and annoying it is for many of them, especially those with sensory issues. I think, given your health issues and traumatic childhood experiences, you're doing so well. I hope your friends, those IRL and those online, tell you how wonderful you are because you really are. Your spirit shines through everything you say.
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Eh, I have been on and off homeless most of my life and live on my own only because Greg offered me a home when I was facing homelessness yet again. I would be screwed otherwise. But I am seeking help and am making it, sorta. I am getting better! He is much older than me, he's 44 in a few days and he said it took him many years to get better. He lived at home for a long time, until his late 30's at least. Then he moved to another state to be with a girl and when they broke up he stayed. So we both have not been exactly capable but we are doing it now. It helps to have a partner that understands. I have a lot of sensory issues. I have misophonia which is repetitive sounds driving me crazy but I also just get sensory overload in general and have had to run away from crowded places due to it.
Aw, thank you so much. :') I do have some seriously amazing friends that remind me of my worth and keep me going. I would be so lost without all of my friends. Even if the interactions are online. :) Works for me!
I do feel like I am in a bit of a comfort zone rut but I am trying to break out by trying out many new types of art, photography, and publishing more books and stuff. As long as I diversify my hobbies and art I feel vitality.
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Oh and yes, people with aspies can very much have strong emotional connections and be romantic even those who are pretty non sexual. I am very romantic myself and Greg is super sentimental also. :)
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