A few days ago I covered how many syllables a haiku should be. Read that here. Today I want to look at how many lines a haiku should be. Three? Five? Forty-two? Curious? Read on!
Haiku in Japan
In Japan, a haiku is usually printed on a single line. The poem naturally divides into three lines when we hear it, and so it is sometimes written that way.
It's worth repeating that. In Japanese you can hear the line breaks. Japanese flows into patterns of five and seven very naturally so one can usually hear the breaks in any case, but there are also often extra words (kireji, "cutting words") that help make a stronger break.
In English, we have nothing similar to either these natural breaks or cutting words, making the line breaks somewhat more important.
Early Translations in English
Early translations in English mimicked the single line approach. Some later translators wrote two line translations: one line came before the cutting word and one line after.
Later, a handful of translators settled around writing the English versions in three lines to mimic the three lines heard in Japanese. The most influential of these was probably R.H. Blyth, an Englishman who taught English in Japan and wrote several books introducing haiku and Zen to the West. It was Blyth who the Beat poets latched onto and who Alan Watts preferred. The combined popularity of the Beats and Watts probably had much to do both with Blyth's fame and with the popularity of writing haiku in three lines.
But there were rebels to this format. One, Peter Beilenson, published his translations as four lines. He didn't intend this to be any kind of a statement on format—in fact, in the introduction of his book he blamed the format on horizontal space limitations due to a narrow book design; whatever the reason may have been, it was an interesting choice. He also wrote the haiku in all caps, something that is less jarring in print than it is on the Internet WHERE WE TAKE IT FOR SCREAMING!
Here is an example of his style (minus the all caps):
Ah! I intended
Never never
to grow old...
Listen: New Year's bell!
(Here's my translation of the same verse)
Modern Haiku in English, Translations, and Original
Today, almost all haiku in Japan continue to be written on a single line. In English, both translations and original haiku tend to use three lines, though you can occasionally find the bold haijin† who doesn't stick to this format.
But does it need to be this way?
In English poetry, line breaks often give us pause. There is a slight hesitation. It makes us break
and consider
what we
just read.
This is exactly why they are used in haiku to mimic the natural break that the Japanese can hear but we can't in English.
So that is to say, a line break can be a useful tool in English poetry, one I think free-verse poets have been taking advantage of for a long time. It's also a tool I propose we take advantage of in haiku as well.
English is not Japanese. That may seem obvious, but yet with haiku we are trying to copy a Japanese structure into English, a structure that doesn't fit our language. I covered this a little in my previous essay so I won't go into it too much. Suffice to say I think we should try to copy the feeling of haiku but not the structure. This means a short verse, as short as possible (aim for one breath), ideally with a reference to nature and some kind of image juxtaposition. But it doesn't mean seventeen syllables or three lines.
How Many Lines Can We Go??
Let's use the example haiku I wrote for my previous essay.
evening
snow beating down
my son is snoring
That's not bad. We have a setting, a feeling (cold), and then cut to an unpleasant but somewhat adorable noise, given who it is coming from. The line break after each line gives us a small pause. The change in images between the second and third line gives a slightly bigger pause.
What if I rewrote it like so:
evening
snow beating down
my son
is snoring
Well now... that changes it a little. Whether it is a good change or not is a matter of opinion, but the change is there. Now, suddenly, we are shifting images to my son and spend a moment admiring him before—pause again—noticing he is making a rather unpleasant sound.
I think using line breaks is a very powerful tool in poetry and we should use it to its full potential in haiku.
Final Word
There are of course sticklers out there who will insist haiku must be exactly seventeen syllables written in three lines of 5/7/5, and so we risk a small argument from this crowd if we publish haiku differently, but I think the potential artistic rewards far outweigh that risk.
If you do run into any of those sticklers, you can refer them to my previous essay on why syllable count in haiku doesn't matter.
What do you think?
Footnotes
†: haiku poet
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I think your translation was great. I prefer it to Blyth's. Where does he get the "Ah!" from? I think mastery of form is one way to understanding, but at some point you realize "there is no spoon."
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Actually that was Beilenson. Sorry if I didn't make that clear. (runs to haiku bookshelf) for this one Blyth wrote:
I intended
Never to grow old, -
But the temple bell tolls!
So he was actually fairly literal, which is unusual for him, but he did swap the first and second line. The "but" is an interesting addition, suggesting (as Jokun was) that despite his intention to stay young, he has no choice. I wouldn't add that myself, but I can see why Blyth did.
I think with that "ah" Beilenson was attempting to show to show that Jokun was only suddenly having this thought upon hearing the temple bell and realizing his age. It's an interesting idea and may be implied by the poem, but it isn't stated. He did the same thing by specifying "new year's bell". That is of course what Jokun was talking about, but it isn't specifically stated in the poem.
I think that is one of the splits in translators, those who try to stay as close to the original as possible and those who try to make it easier to understand by adding things. At the moment I favor staying as close to the original as possible, then explaining anything that needs explaining separately. But I can understand arguments from the other camp and I can accept them, as long as they don't go too far. Some, like Robert Hass, basically completely rewrite the haiku to the point where it bears little resemblance to the original.
Anyway, thank you for the comment :)
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this is really amazing translation....and thanks always for seeing the beauty in great work @thinknzombie ....thanks also for this post @dbooster
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Thank you for reading :)
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Thanks a lot for this, I’ve been meaning to go into haiku poetry but I’ve never been able to really understand it but I guess I do now 🙂
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Glad you enjoyed the piece. If you want to go into haiku more, I try to post a translation of one of my favorites just about every day.
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Yup, modern Haijin are definitely moving away from the constrictions of syllable and line count which is awesome for the vitality of the genre. Personally nothing jars worse than a forced 5-7-5 format.
Do you write much yourself? :)
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Somewhat, but I think we still have a lot of poets in the English world who insist on being exactly 17 5/7/5. Fortunately the divide here isn't as bad as in Japan where we have had the two haiku camps (traditional, must follow all rules, and free-form) for about 100 years now and they still don't get along very well.
I do write a lot. I try to do at least one a day. I post them sometimes on here. More often I am translating older ones from the Japanese and posting that.
I just checked out your profile. I see you wrote about Santoka. Excellent! He is one of my favorites (and one that many Japanese folks know of so he's good to memorize). I have translated a few of his haiku for past Steemit posts. I should go back to him more.
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Yeah, Santoka is pretty much my favorite haiku poet. Very sparse style with a lot of hidden depth :). Cool, well, I'll keep an eye out for your other haiku posts.
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I like how informative this is. Good job.
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Thank you :)
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Your Translation is really good, thanks for sharing.
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Thank you for reading :)
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Interestingly enough ... I interpret the my son snoring haiku to mean his son's sleeping sounds mimics the sound of hard snow falling on the roof.
For the sake of ultimate brevity ... perhaps it could read so ...
night
snow beats down
my son snores
As English Haiku and a nose thumb at Kerouac, I would write it a little differently and heighten the word play .
slumber falls
the snow beats down
my son saws logs
I wonder with some of these older haiku and their translated version if some word play isn't lost, idiomatic meaning lost.
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That's the great thing about poetry: It is entirely subjective and is open for interpretation. I hadn't considered his snores matching the snow, but that does work well, eh? I should do the Bob Ross thing and claim a happy little accident. ;)
I couldn't say why, but I like using the progressive tence here. Perhaps because he was snowing as I wrote it (and this article). Basho always advised to only write haiku on things you are currently experiencing (seeing or hearing) and I usually hold to that. It makes them feel fresher.
Your rewrite is interesting. I don't fancy wordplay that much, but there is a charm to that.
Oh certainly older haiku had lots of wordplay. If you read my haiku translations I usually point out when it happens. Usually the old haiku poets' wordplay was more allusion to even older chinese poetry or philosophy, noh drama, or Japanese history. For example, butterflies are almost always both literal and also nods to Chuang Tzu and his questions of reality. This kind of wordplay is almost impossible to translate, so I just point it out in my translation notes.
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I used to write haiku on a site called Allpoetry ... some of the haiku folks there would come close to cyber throttling over the use of the progressive. They trained me out of it, unless I was being all 'word-fancy' LOL. But there is an emphasis placed with the present continuous that is true. I guess it depends if you are aiming at ultimate simplicity or increased expression. Also I think there is something called the -te formation ... that would indicated if the writer intended a progressive. But I do not write or read Japanese and so that is foggy to me.
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Haha oh I wouldn't fit in there well at all. I am more like the free-verse haiku poets in Japan and I don't do well with rules. I do often follow some traditional haiku rules in my own, but if I am told I have to, I will stubbornly refuse. I very much like recent trends in Japan (such as the woman I posted about recently who wrote the paper-rock-scissors haiku) that are introducing more common language to haiku (slang and whatnot) and striping away all the old rules. Poetry should evolve, not be stuck in the past. Typical stubborn yankee, eh? ;)
Yeah many Japanese haijin use the te form, and it would correspond more or less to the progressive. But the funny thing among many strict English haiku poets is that they often make up their own rules and claim they are the traditional ones, but disregard what the Japanese actually do with haiku.
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very nice words
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very good, three lines:
Haiku
like
Love
Haiku is Peer-to-Peer ...
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It's certainly good to know the rules before we attempt to break them. Thank you, @dbooster, for this piece on an intriguing & profound form.
As an aphorist, I've always been drawn to whittling down poems to their essences, a quality a good haiku tends to embody.
Here is something of mine inspired by the form:
morning epiphany
applicable to love and life
in haiku-like purity:
only freshly squeezed
separation is natural
shake well to enjoy!
In fructose veritas.
Cheers, Yahia
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That is pretty good. Thanks for sharing it!
And thank you for reading my post :)
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This is so interesting! It really emphasises the effect of formating in poetry - we focus too hard on word choice sometimes. I think it's really important to read out loud what you have written in all the ways it can be read to see how your audience interprets your words and if its with the intention you began with.
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Totally agree. In English the cadence can have such a huge effect, and line breaks or other formatting choices, can really help effect that
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