Breaking news: Hand model provides own security

We all know being a sexy model can be difficult...There's celery to eat, [not too much mind], walking practice [yes they have to practice that], trying on clothes [those coat hangers can be tricky], not to mention all that posing and pouting [the muscle control involved is mind-boggling]. It's all simply so exhausting!

However there's another side to it altogether; One that is rarely spoken of, mentioned in the glossy magazines, catwalks of Milan and Paris or in the halls of the great fashion houses...Any yet it's there, just below the surface, shallow.[Like the models themselves].

I refer to personal security of course. That's right...A super model can't be too careful with their personal security and any old nut-job [or heinous ugly person] can't be permitted to get too close...Anything could happen: Broken finger nail, scuffed Manolo Blahnik shoe, or worse, a photograph of said super model, taken at entirely the wrong angle. Sacrilege!

No, the sexy super models of this world ensure their personal security is zipped up as tight as a Louis Vuitton handbag and squared away like a pert pair of boobs in a Victoria's Secret bra. No risks taken. [I'm a guy, I had to work in the word boobs here somewhere!]

However one segment of the modelling world is not as fragile, or fickle; No, there is a group of models who buck the trends most common to haute couture brands and the models that they hang loosely upon, like rags on skeletons...Who? I hear you ask...Well...

The hand models of course.

You can see one here. Yes, that's me. Oh, you didn't know I was a professional hand model? Well yeah, I am.

That hand should ring some bells for you as it's doubled as the hand of many a-well-known film star...You remember Gollum from Lord of the Rings? Yep, I was his hand double for all three movies. Not big enough of a star for you? OK, how about C3P0 from Star Wars...Yep, my work again. More? You know that black guy in the Green Mile? Yes, also me. My finest work actually.

Anyway, as you can see I'm no dainty celery-eating super model who requires some burly muscle-bound meat head for protection...No way. I provide my own security which you can see here.

I don't want to toot my own horn here but this one time a pap [that's what we hand models in "the biz" call paparazzi] came up and tried to snap a picture of my hand...I didn't mind so much, I mean my hand is used to such attention and adoration, however as a lesson to all paps I whipped the hand up, lightning fast, and karate chopped the camera right out of his hand. Just like that. I know, magnificent huh?

So there you have it, a self-personal-security-providing-hand...My other hand also provides its own security but was not permitted to appear in this photograph as it was recently damaged in an unfortunate masturbation accident and is bruised. I have photos but...Well, nah probably not huh?

Well, I had better go...I've been typing with my nose to preserve the integrity of my hands; Yes, I'm am an ambidextrous hand model. I had better go as my nose is starting to bleed though. I'll leave you with two of the hand model credos:

• If the glove fits, or not, don't wear it as it will hide the magnificence of your hand.

• una parte et una parte facit duas manus
  (English, one hand, and one hand makes two hands - Deep huh?)

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Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default

Discord: @galenkp#9209 🇦🇺

This is my entry for the @soundwavesphoton / @mckenziegary contest for best hand model. If you would like to showcase your hand modelling skills see this see post here - You could win 50 steem, and more importantly, it could be a bit of fun.