Hurts to Be Forgotten

in hardforkseries •  7 years ago  (edited)

This story has been removed by the author.

Since writing this story, a lot has changed. I've grown as a writer and editor, and the story has been heavily revised. It will be submitted to a mainstream market and find a second life there, hopefully.

Come and check out some of my other work at www.jasminearch.com, or if you feel like hanging out with a bunc of crazy writers, come and hang out at The INKubator.

Hugs

Tiny

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Ah, Tiny, this is beautifully written. It's a take I would never have considered and an ending that I never expected. A little more brutal than the rest of the story implied!
Excellent stuff, a tale well told :)
Good luck!
Edit - and thanks for the mention!

After getting to know more of your writing, I value your opinion even more. Thank you so much, John. And you're welcome! ;-)

Never saw that end coming! Such a cool idea for a futuristic story.

And thank for the shout out! <3

Why thank you, kind sir. Fans face. You will make me blush!

realy love 'That motherflagging bitch'
i love this post.jpg

greetings

Thank you, Jack!

your welcome

This turned out excellent; great work! Feels much more complete with the strong ending you've added.

Your VR therapy has evoked a lot of interesting thoughts. Really like your entry Tiny.

Thank you, AK!

Wow I love the themes you included here!

Thank you!

This is such a believable future scenario, Tiny. But you really got me with that ending- Ahhhg! Excellent work!

Thanks, Trishie! Hugs

Awesome writing, Tiny. I'm really glad that you shared this story this morning in PYPT. Loved every motherflagging word. Like @jrswab, I was not expecting that ending. Brilliant. Now following you and look forward to checking out your steemshelf.
x x
Mo

Thank you do much, mo. Hugs

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

This is such a beautiful and devastating story, @tinypaleokitchen. The unexpected twist at the end was a huge surprise. Wonderfully done! Oh, and I love the explanation of your invented curse word! Very clever.

Thank you, Jayna! Glad you liked it.

Mierenneukers would be an interesting word for the English speaking community to pronounce LOL. Great story, nice twist.

If you like long, Dutch words, I've got plenty more where that came from. ;-)

Haha. You and me both. I'm Dutch, from Tilburg. 😉

Aaaaah nice. Fist bump. Dan kunnen wij tegen elkaar op vloeken gelijk een tempelier!

Haha. Fist bumping all all the way back 😉 Ik wist niet dat tempeliers veel vloeken lol. Kijk: weer wat bij geleerd. Dutch cursing is cool, but the Flemish versions are better!

Well, we Belgians are fairly modest, but we are great at three things: Brewing beer, making fries, and cursing. Motherflagging nanofucker! ;-)

Hahaha. Yeah, couldn't agree with you more. Your cursing is not only awesome, it's the funniest. Making fries: yup yup, but you forgot the mayonnaise...AWESOME!!! And the beer? Well, the best beers in the world are from Belgium. Since I live in Ireland, I really miss the Dubbele Trappist (met grenadine, omdat ik een watje ben) and Kriek!!! And your motherflagging nanofucker is awesome, why don't you motherflag it yourself? LOL

Tiny, the ending works even better this way, but the set up before it is what makes it.

Thank you, Andrew. Your opinion means the world to me. I'm glad I managed to write something that's not a tearjerker for a change.

This is a wonderfully written and very powerful story. It really hit home with me because my own mother had Alzheimer's for many years before she died, caused by anesthesia before a major surgery. She often did not seem to know who we were, even from one day to the next. Of course there was no VR in her world. And what a twist at the end, with Lina and her family... wow...

I am so glad that one of your friends shared this post at the #steemitramble "Pimp Your Post Thursday."

Thank you very much for your kind comment. Hugs

Love this @tinypaleokitchen. A great read and an awesome submission for the hardfork challenge.

Thank you very much, Muxxy.

Thanks for sharing your post on Pimp Your Post Thursday.
https://discord.gg/KP2tNq4

Whoa. What an emotional ride! And that ending, totally unexpected! :O Thank you for sharing this post with us. I can't even imagine what having to deal with a loved one with dementia must really be like...but it always gets so emotional for me when I see or read stories like this because I always wonder how I would deal with it if either of my parents ever end up suffering from dementia.

Thank you for your kind comment. I'm glad you liked my story.

I deal with all sorts of patients on a daily basis. Including people suffering from dementia. They get dumped in ERs at the start of the holidays or when their family wants to go on vacation. Because it's easier. They get overlooked because they're confused... Because they're verbally defenseless...
It can be exhausting to try and give them the time and attention they need and deserve, but they mostly don't get what they should from society.

That truly saddens me...it's crazy how a difference in location changes so much. The culture I come from, it's highly frowned upon to just dump your aging parents into an old folks home or some sort of care facility like that. We have full blown adults raising their own families who have their parents living in their same home with them. It sucks that in other parts of the world such behavior is though of as odd because the norm is to get rid of the people who raised you once you're old enough to raise people on your own. :(

It is sad how many people are discarded when they have outlived their usefulness.

Despite the fact that I'm a happy ending kinda guy, I love the surprise twist at the end... as well as the fact that she's not quite cured yet. :O

😄😇😄

@creatr

Thank you creatr. Hugs

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Congratulations! This story has been curated by The SFT. :-) A small SBD reward has been transferred to your wallet.

https://steemit.com/curation/@sft/the-sft-curates-12-8-17

It has been added to the Literary Reading Room at the SFT Library.

http://sftlibrary.com/

Wow, thank you so much! I'm very, very honoured.