Very true, I hadn't really considered the victim-blaming that might be done by the victim themself. I definitely find there is a very important and powerful distinction between "fault" and "responsibility", at least in my own way of viewing things.
Fault seems to carry with it an intrinsic wrong-doing by the person who is at fault, where responsibility feels more like a simple recognition of the cause & effect nature of our reality.
I think the cultural & traumatic nature of so much violence is such a massive, glaring piece that many don't take into account enough. Luckily, approval & use of "corporal punishment" (assault) has been on the decline for the past decade, but according to surveys over 50% of Americans still think that is an acceptable & effective method of discipline. Between that and the "heroism" pinned to professional violence-doers, it's no wonder that kids (and adults) resort to violence when triggered.
No matter what the other kid did, violence cannot be a justified response
So very true, and one of the most foundational concepts of my entire philosophy :-)
I like that distinction; I'm always trying to put a finer point on the distinction between fault and accountability, because I think it's an important (if often subtle and confusing) one.
Agreed (of course) that the violence that is taken for granted as normal and even sometimes as necessary in our world is inherently traumatic, and is connected to / gives rise to other forms of systemic violence. I love practices like NVC and Compassionate Listening because they shine a light on the violence that arises in our thoughts and in our language, helping us to become more aware of and uproot these most subtle beginnings of violence and tolerance for violence.
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