Three long years

Greetings!!

Today, June 10th I am sitting between two huge events in my life. Tomorrow will be exactly 3 years since I had my cancer surgery. I am a survivor!! It is hard to believe that 3 years ago I was sitting at death's door praying it would not open. The event would change my life forever. I already had a lot of health issues both mental and physical. Having cancer almost did me in. But I am a survivor!! I suffer from a lifetime of chronic illness, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, chronic epstein barr virus, neuropathy, several herniated disks throughout my spine from my neck to my tail bone, PTSD and now as a result of the cancer and radiation treatments, lymphedema, burned intestines and burned bladder. But I am a survivor!!

It has been a struggle beyond measure. I have difficulty walking, it is extremely painful. I don't really function normally. But I refuse to give up!! For the last three years I did not leave my house alone. I did not drive myself anywhere alone. In fact, I did not drive my car. The pain was so incredible I had a concern as to whether or not I could hit the break if I needed to in a hurry. I didn't want to put others at risk so I just did not drive.

I own a nice little Ford Focus. I missed driving my car and knew I had to do something to get myself to a point where I felt comfortable and more importantly, safe driving again. A friend would take my car out at least once a week to keep it in good running order. I could not do it. I lost my independence!! Mentally, I was afraid to leave the house. So many fears ran through my mind. I started to try it a couple of times over the last 3 years but this over-whelming fear kept me from walking out the door.

(this is not my car but one just like it I got off of google. I forgot to take a picture while I was out, LOL)

I knew I had to do something about it. I could not let this go on forever. So, I started stretching several times a day to try to get my muscles working properly. I have a treadmill. I don't last more than a minute or two on it before the pain becomes too great but I keep at it. Several times a day for a minute or two is better than no times a day I reasoned with myself.

In 2015 I lost my job as a work from home professional genealogist and researcher for the oil and gas industry. Mentally that was a huge blow. But I am a survivor and refused to give in. I had a fully equipped ceramic and pottery shop in my basement that had not been utilized in many years since the fibromyalgia had gotten so bad and the pain of getting down the stairs was unbearable. I decided I was going to go down those stairs and get the business going again. Pain be damned I was going to do it, after all, I am a survivor! Besides, I need to make some income to pay my bills. I refuse to go on disability so long as there is still something I can do.

Fast forward to yesterday. The best day I have had in three long years!! I finally felt confident enough to get out and drive my car, alone!! Yes, the pain is still there. But I have learned to cope with it better. (I do not take medications) I have learned to compensate on what I do each day to be able to accomplish the things I want to do, need to do. I was out for an hour driving and even went out to dinner!! I feel empowered!! Through faith in God and shear determination I am finally getting some of my life back. I am a survivor!!

Moral of my post, NEVER, EVER GIVE UP!! Whatever your struggles are, you can be a survivor too!!

Until next time,,,,,,,,,