What I want in my life now is to escape from pain and misery. I know that I am just dreaming about it and that my goals are hard to meet because of the entanglement of complications which makes it hard to deal with a particular medical issue not to mention the expense and also the belief of my parents that I won't make it.
I am just basically supporting myself but my siblings have no obligation to help me though, so are my parents and I am just fortunate that I have some friends here at steemit that are always selfless with their support. I know that God himself has the rewards for you all because he is a just God and favors the good.
But my frustrations in life always hunts me night and day, the things that I missed doing and the places I wanted to visit or the career in life that I might have been doing for self-fulfillment.
I always wanted to go up north and experience the cold climate there. I have acquaintances that goes there and I am jealous about their escapades and it makes me think about envy in my heart that normal people can do what they want and go places and do what their heart desires without the intervention of someone.
It feels like I am in a prison and guarded, I am now more than hermit but a different kind that is living in our hardship and agony.
Just imagine being terrified of getting up on bed just to make it down the toilet, where bathing is like a walk up Mount Everest with no air tank to aid my breathing because that is what I feel like. But still my body doesn't give up.
I think God is really intervening in my life. One thing I can't explain is my hemoglobin level, as a dialysis patient I should suffer anemia and would require blood transfusions if not expensive EPO injections.. But my blood count remains stable so I am thankful about that miracle in my life that no one seems to recognize.
It seems that God wants me to stay up and fulfill a mission that only he knows. Whatever that mission is, I don't know but it is a hell of a life with me in it and I am helpless to forge my fate in a way that I wanted, a normal life.
Like I said before, you are one of the strongest people I have met and I am very inspired by you and I pray and wish that you will receive your miracle from God.
Like you said, God has a purpose for all of our lives and some are better than others and we don't understand why, and it breaks my heart to see you or anyone with daily or any kind of life struggles.
We take the simple things for granted which is very sad since so many people would do anything to have a normal, healthy life without pain or health struggles.
Always in my thoughts and prayers @cryptopie
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Thank you Ma'am @joalvarez for your kind thoughts. god bless you.
Having a normal life in this world is a paradise in itself and everything else is just a bonus and a thing to be grateful and thankful for to God Almighty.
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Moving blog here. I think God works through you, in some ways. Through you comes inspiration to men and women, because your resolve is amazing. Even though there are physical limitations you still set goals to help your family. Reading your words, it does so much for so many.
I am grateful for what you share and often humbled.
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interesting post especially for the structure and content for me is not a time of regrets but to evolve. Greetings and my repsetos my support with my vote.
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cold climate of course there is a south pole, hopefully you can realize to go to a cold climate
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God is good, friend, @ cryptopie, I hope your health improves. A hug.
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Asi es amigo Dios por algo te mantiene con vida debes tener algún propósito el cual debes teatar de averiguar @cryptopie y recuerda que siempre puedes contar con tus amigos de Steemit
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