On Being Able to Provide For My Family

Prior to developing Multiple Sclerosis I was a hard working family man. I was brought up by a single mother who instilled in us children a very strong work ethos of providing for the family. I never had a very well paid job, but I put in the work and the hours to make sure my family were provided for. At one point I spent around 5 years doing five or six twelve hour night shifts a week to be able to provide for a wife and two kids.

The rapid onset of my condition in 1999 placed a huge strain on my relationship and we divorced not long after. In six months I had gone from a hard working family man to a single disabled person. This brought about an enormous shift in my self worth as a person and a sense of my uselessness to anybody. I survived on government handouts and the love and support of my immediate family. Depression is an integral part of the condition when dealing with MS and I am not ashamed to say that although I have a handle on it today, it was not always so. If you allow it, depression will drag you down in an inescapable spiral, and it had me in its grip for a while.

Around fourteen years ago my MS had improved to a point where I could start doing some work. I joined my brother in his construction firm and put myself through college in order to train as an electrician. It felt great being able to at least support myself again. I enjoyed the challenge of a new career and started to feel that maybe I was over the worse of what my health would throw at me.

I then had the good fortune of meeting the love of my life. Already a mother of two, she of course accepted I had two children from my marriage. I was upfront about my condition and she was totally accepting of it, even though she didn't quite understand it. Not many do. We quickly created a life together and within a year we had a son. The joy of being once more in a family that I could provide for cannot be underestimated.

Unfortunately, Multiple Sclerosis had not forgotten me, no matter how much I tried to pretend it had been a temporary blip. Slowly the old symptoms returned, I was ever more tired and in pain and I eventually had to seek medical help. I had an MRI scan and sure enough, the lesions on my brain and spinal column had increased.

It was no longer safe for me, or others, to do manual work. I had to give up riding my motorcycle because of trouble with balance and distance judgement, and that was a great loss of freedom. Without blinking, my girlfriend took up part time work, learned to drive to be able to transport us anywhere and totally supported me emotionally and financially. Of course, with children in tow we were forced to take government handouts.

During this time, she was pressing me for another child. At first I refused - I already had three sons by this point and the odds were that there was a good chance I might have a daughter. Although I always longed for my own little princess, there is a slightly higher chance of a female offspring developing Multiple Sclerosis if one of her parents have it. Eventually, I gave in and lo and behold, six years ago our daughter was born.

In the thirteen years we have been together, my health has never bothered my girlfriend. She supports me, understands when I am in pain, when I need space but - more importantly - when I need a kick in the butt to focus on the great things we share in our lives together as a family. She keeps me grounded.

Despite how wonderful she has always been, because of my ingrained sense of needing to provide for my family, my self worth has not been all that high. However, last year I discovered this wonderful place. I wasn't sure what to make of it at first but I just knew I could make something. Slowly, I grew my account, my following and eventually my earnings. If we needed something, I had access to crypto. If a bill came in we couldn't pay for through our usual means, I had the funds to cover it. Christmas last year was the first since we have been together that we didn't have to get into debt. January is usually a tough time for us as we have two children both born in that month. This year Steem covered Christmas and their two birthdays.

My girlfriend's daughter is 22 and a single mother. She supports herself and her son by working part time in school as a teaching assistant. Part of her role involves a lot of study and official documentation regarding child safety, privacy etc. Until recently, if she needed access to a PC for any work, she used mine. The time has come however when she needs her own laptop in order to do work at home. Not being very tech savvy, she asked my opinion on what she needs and how much it will cost.

She has been saving up for several months. Her income isn't huge so it would have taken her a while to save up, cutting down on expenses elsewhere. It felt absolutely brilliant to be able to say to her - I got this. I found a laptop more than suitable for her office work and placed an order a few days ago on Amazon, spending some of my SBD earned here. It arrived today.

^Source

No, I am not showing off to say 'Hey, look what I bought now'. I am extending my gratitude to this community for supporting me, my blog and posts to be able to let me do this. As a disabled person the sheer joy it gives me to be able to contribute is indescribable. Although I am in the midst of another MS flare up, thanks to Steem I can still support my family, feeling like an asset rather than a burden. And for that, I am eternally grateful.

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