TRANSCRIPT:
"Hey everyone. I hope you're doing great. This week's video is very special to me, and I entitled it "My Top Three Lessons After 40 Years of Existence." So today I'm recording this, and it is my 40th birthday, and I can tell you that I am completely amazed at the last, well my first or my last 40 years. It's just been, in retrospect, it's been magical in so many ways, and I'm definitely ready for another 40 years. I tried in the last few months and then last few weeks, I tried to come up with something smart, like the 40 lessons or 40 things to know before you're 40 or something like that, but it all boils down to three lessons, my three top lessons that have been carrying me for so many years now.
And I want to share them with you because on this very special day for me, not so long ago, I don't know if you're aware of my little back story, but in my 20's, most of my 20's, for about almost ten years, I really struggled with respecting myself. I did alcohol, drugs, sex. You know, I changed, I moved around so many times. I had relationships, unfortunately I hurt a bunch of people, and it always came down to me and how I would respect myself or wouldn't, at this time, wouldn't respect myself. And at 29 years old, about halfway through my 29th year, I was literally, I was scared that I wouldn't see 40 years old if I would continue at the pace that I was going at that time.
Way too many drugs, way too many alcohol, probably one night out of two partying and not remembering how the night ended. In September 2007, I really had to, I was faced with the dilemma, or the choice, or the opportunity to change my life around and really think about what I was doing that was okay and what I was doing that was too much and to stop doing that, to really step up to a new level and a new way of life, because like I said, at that time, during that summer before September, I was really, I was starting to think that I couldn't last another ten years going at that pace.
And now, ten years later, eleven, little bit years later, I'm here and I'm doing this video, looking back at my 40 years of existence, and I'm just filled with gratitude. I'm filled with love. I'm filled with compassion, empathy for myself and for everybody that I met that was struggling on my path. It's quite something to turn 40 years old. I never thought about the birthdays with a big O at the end, that would really mean something. When I turned 20 years old, that's when I left the family house. And then when I turned 30 years old, that's when I wrote my first book. And now I'm 40, so I can only imagine that the next year is gonna be filled with excitement and super great projects and surprises, and probably deceptions and everything. It's gonna be amazing.
But coming to this day, I wanted to connect with you this week in a special way, and I thought about the top three lessons that helped me go through those, the first 20 years of my life, and then my 20's that was like all about rock and rock and roll and everything, and then my 30's that was about getting all those pieces of myself together and creating something that hopefully resonates and that hopefully shares a different vibe and a different energy than it did at 20 and at 29, or 28, 29 years old. So hopefully, hopefully I made some progress in the last ten or eleven years. But I think I did, so that's the important part.
So I wanted to share those three lessons that I learned way back and that I had, in so many different ways, that I had to relearn in different ways to really assimilate them and really take them to the next level. So here they are. First, or I'd say number three on the top three, number three is be the change you wish to see in the world. For so many years, I tried to change everybody around me. I thought that I had the right way of thinking. I thought that I had the right way of living and of doing and of having and everything. I thought I was right for everything, and I tried to impose that truth onto others, and to convince them to be, or not to be, not even to be, no, I tried to convince them to switch into my perspective or to switch into my world, telling them that it would be much easier if everybody thought like me.
Obviously it didn't work. I changed nobody through all those years. It's really when I understood that it's not about changing others, it's about changing ourselves, that I really started to feel much more relaxed, much more zen, much more inspiring, and much more confident in who I am, because it was coming from the inside, and then the overflow of zen-ness or of calm or of love or compassion or professionalism or whatever, then the overflow could serve others. It took me a little while to get that one right.
Obviously at first, I tried to change everybody else, and then along the path, I tried to change myself into whatever others wanted me to be. So if they wanted me to be a professional, with the suit and the ties and the business card and everything, I tried to be that for many years. It didn't fit with me, but I thought I was doing a good job because people were recognizing me for that role that I was playing. So I was changing myself, but not into what I wanted others to experience. I felt like an imposter. I felt like I didn't belong. I felt like I was lying to people, 'cause I knew that inside me, that professional image of a businessman wasn't for me. It didn't mean that I couldn't be professional or that I couldn't be a businessman, but by trying to fit into other people's molds, then I wasn't being myself.
What I wanted to shout on the rooftops of every city that I was going to was to be yourself. Be authentic. Be truthful to yourself. And that's what I was telling people to do, but that's not what I was doing myself. So I had to relearn that lesson a few times in the last ten years at least, to really be the change that I wanted to see in the world. So to embody the message that I was sharing with everybody. So be yourself, be authentic, be love, be loving, love yourself, all that stuff I needed to do with myself to change myself first. Then again, with the overflow of love, of self love, of self acceptance and everything, then I could touch other people's lives.
So yeah, that was a first lesson. It took me a while to ... I learned a long time ago, but it took me a while to get it right. And now I think I got it right, most of the time anyway. And I always start by myself when I see somebody else that's, let's say that's irritating me, I ask myself, why am I irritated by that person? It's not the person's actions or gestures or words or whatever that is wrong, and I'm not wrong either. But if I'm irritated by those actions, then there's something in me that needs to be updated, that needs to change so I can influence, maybe influence that person into not doing those things anymore.
That's just one example of many. But it's to put the emphasis on the idea that the change has to come from us first, from our inside towards the outside. So when we are loving and when we are professional or when we are authentic or when we are perfect, like me, oh that's a joke, when we are whatever we want to be, when we are that 100% and we keep on generating that, the overflow can touch other people's lives and influence them towards exactly what you want to see in the world. So that's the number three of the top three lessons that really touched me and helped me in my first 40 years of existence.
The number two is, I did a video about that recently, a few weeks back, and it's to be grateful. To be grateful is a relatively new idea for me. Not new idea, but new practice for me. I've been, like for so many years, I heard that and I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I say thank you and I say, you know, whatever. But in the last few, in the last couple of years, but I'd say in the last few months, I've really nailed down how to be grateful for me, what works for me, and it's a daily reminder. At 5:55 PM, my watch vibrates, my cellphone rings, and it says, "I am grateful," with a praying hands and a heart, a loving heart, so I know that right at that moment, I need to stop and really think about why, the elements of why I'm grateful at this moment.
Most days, when the alarm goes off or my Apple watch, I really have to think about it. It's not something that comes super easily. It's not like, I don't walk 24/7 in gratefulness. It's something that I really have to think about, and I don't just wanna do anything, like say anything and move on. It has to be natural. It has to be on the moment. And it also has to be touching for me, deep for me. So yeah, that number two, be grateful, it's relatively new. (coughs), wow, I hope that's not an exercise for the next 40 years coming. But anyway, number two, be grateful. It's something relatively new for me, but I find it's getting more and more, much more powerful every single time that I do it, and I do it daily, so at the end of 2018, I will have 365 moments of gratefulness in my year, which I find is amazing. It's super powerful.
Obviously, I think another video that I did a couple of weeks ago, the more you focus on the positive, the more you focus on the abundance, the more you focus on being grateful, that's what you attract in your life. So you're gonna attract more abundance, more positive stuff, and more elements that help you, or that remind you that you are grateful and that your life is abundant and that your loving and that your happiness, your joy, at the end, that's what we all want. So by being grateful on a daily basis, then you sew and you cultivate, and then you reap everything on the daily basis, everything that you put forward in your grateful moments. So that number two is a really powerful lesson for me that I know I'll be applying for a really long time.
And now number one, top number one lesson of my 40 years of existence is to be open. There is so many ways that we can block our path, our own path, by trying to control, by trying to, it's mainly about control, but there's so many ways that we can control, that as soon as we control, we close down on who and what we think we, or what we think we should be getting or what we think we should deserve or anything. It's really about being open of everything. And I mean, by opening up, I mean accepting everything that comes your way. So if you're doing an action to get a certain result, then let go of the result and concentrate on the action.
If you do the action with 100% of your presence and your love and your skills, whatever is gonna happen, whatever is gonna come out of that action is gonna be the perfect element or the perfect situation or the perfect person that you attract for you at that moment. But as soon as you're trying to control the outcome, like I was doing, I'm still doing, I'm not perfect at it, as soon as you're trying to control the outcome, then you're blocking what's coming naturally to you, because you're so focused on something else that you don't see and you're actually blocking what's naturally coming. And it's like that for work, for jobs, for relationships, for love, for gifts, for abundance, financial or otherwise. It's really about being open to everything and concentrating on the present moment. Being present in the present moment.
A great example, I'm recording this video right now because that's what I feel I need to share. I don't know how many likes or shares or whatever, if anybody's gonna watch that video, but that's not important, not right now, not to me right now while I'm recording. In the past, I used to try to record videos to get more likes and more shares and to be popular and stuff like that. But now I'm sharing what's in my heart, and whatever happens, happens. Maybe nobody will see that video. Maybe 100,000 people will see that video, and whatever is gonna come my way. But right now in this moment, while I'm talking to you, all those outcomes and everything, they're not important, so I'm not trying to control them. And at the same time, I'm open to whatever comes from it.
Hopefully it's gonna be, well I know it's gonna be exactly what I need from this video, and hopefully it's gonna be in line with whatever I have in mind for my next year and the rest of my life. We never know. But really, I come back to the idea to stay one, to let go of control or let go of outcomes. Don't try to control it, just be in it. Simply be in it, and the flow, being in the flow will get you much better results, much faster and much farther than whatever you think you could control by yourself. So remember, be open on everything. Stop controlling. Be open. Whatever comes up is what is supposed to come up.
These are my top three lessons that have been carrying me for a while, and that I will continue to use for a long time, because they are my top three and they're the, I think they're the best for me, and hopefully they serve you and they help you through whatever you're going through right now. So remember, number three, be the change you wish to see in the world, meaning change starts from you, from yourself, from the inside out. So stop trying to change everybody else. Change yourself and you will influence or touch other people's lives for the better.
Second top three, whatever you wanna call it, number two is be grateful. Being grateful on a daily basis is one of the most powerful practice you can have in the world. Eckhart Tolle was quoted repeatedly saying if the only prayer you do every day is to say thank you, that's gonna be enough. So please say thank you, be grateful. And number one, be open. Stop trying to control anything, everything. Stop trying to push forward faster or bigger or whatever. What is supposed to happen will happen. Mastin Kipp has a great quote with that, something similar to whatever comes to me was meant for me, and whatever misses me was ultimately not meant for me.
So basically, just be in the flow, and whatever comes to you is supposed to get to you, and whatever doesn't, the outcomes or the results that you're trying to control and they don't happen, it's because they weren't meant for you. So be open to stop controlling, and also be open to whatever comes towards you, to receive it plentifully, abundantly, and really appreciate it. So I hope this video serves you. It's a little bit longer video. We're going over 23, 24 minutes now. So I hope it really serves you, those top three lessons that I have to share with you from my 40 years of experience.
Now for me, it's the end of the afternoon here, so for me it's time to go out and celebrate with friends a little bit. I was born on, well March 14, obviously, but at 10:40 PM, so I'm gonna have a flute of champagne at 10:40 PM tonight to celebrate that milestone, or that switch from the 30's to the 40's, and to celebrate another, the beginning of another 40 great, memorable, awesome years of existence. So if you feel that somebody would benefit from those three lessons, please share the video with them, and I will see you again shortly next week with another video. And until this time, take care of yourself. Wake up and ignite yourself. Namaste."