*Disclaimer: I do just want to make one thing clear to everyone reading this: I am no psychologist, nor do I posses any sort of medical degrees or certificates. Likewise the content and techniques you will read in this blog are purely situational, and are merely based off of my own personal experiences. With that being said, I hope that those who deal with or have dealt with similar emotional obstacles in their lives find this blog helpful. *
Hello again, fellow steemians! So, in my last article I briefly touched on dealing with social anxiety, and I wanted to go a bit more in-depth with that this time around. Now, I have a long running history when it comes to dealing with this form of anxiety. Growing up, my social skills were always a bit behind the rest of my peers, I didn't have the easiest time when it came to making friends throughout middle and high school (flirting and dating was something I could not even fathom at the time), and I had a habit of isolating myself from others whenever the opportunity arose (something I'd eventually come to regret). In spite of my doing this, I HATED being alone. I was at heart, a friendly individual, but I had extreme difficulty understanding social cues and holding conversations, which often times made me come off as a rather awkward guy. It wasn't really until I got my first job as a bagger at Publix, that I was able to adapt better to different people and different surroundings, and interact with others more efficiently. Now, let me tell you guys, as much as I hated working this job, looking back at it now, I'm SO grateful for it, because it forced me to socialize with a variety of people, and served as a stepping stone in my journey to conquering my fear of talking to others.
Obviously every person's situation is going to be different, but what most people who deal with social anxiety are most afraid of and what keeps them from showing themselves for the brilliant individuals that they truly are, is the fear of embarrassment. We are afraid of saying something stupid, and making ourselves look like idiots. The honest truth is that the only legit way to truly purge your fear of embarrassment in social environments is to keep putting yourself in these situations. Don't get me wrong, it is not an easy process. It is a relatively simple and straightforward process, but simple does not always equal easy. You're going to feel awkward and anxious, and perhaps a little unsure of yourself for quite some time, especially if you're just starting out and are inexperienced (as with any skill), but that is perfectly normal and okay!! Overcoming your fears of socializing is not something that happens overnight. It can take weeks, months, perhaps even years for some people. Patience is a must-have, and so is persistence!!
I would definitely advise seeking out others (whether it be a friend, family member, co-worker, school mate, etc.) whom is a bit more developed with their social skills, and observing the way they interact with other people, including yourself, and making mental notes in your head of actions and cues that they use (body-language, eye-contact, humor, compliments, etc.). This way when your next opportunity arises, you can begin employing these techniques into your daily interactions. More than likely, this will feel a bit forced at first, and you may be tempted to revert back to your previous less efficient methods of interaction, but this is where that combination of persistence and patience will really come into play. Consistency is key!! The more you employ these strategies, the more natural they will feel to you! Once again though, you have to pass through that phase of discomfort, before you'll begin to see the pay-offs and benefits come through. Believe me guys, the sense of accomplishment you'll feel is so worth it in the end! Once you've forced yourself into these situations enough times, and passed through through that period of doubt, you will feel fearless and damn near invincible!