)Image source
No, it's not easy to look at. The first time I saw this photo, I thought it was a very skinny plucked chicken. Once the clothes are gone what remains is the naked skin and bones truth.
- In the interest of transparency, please note that I have written and published this article previously on HubPages (February, 2014). I have made minor edits and adjusted the formatting for #Steemit. There are also several pictures so it may take a little time to load.
Defining an eating disorder
Characterized by abnormal eating habits, eating disorders affect body image, overall critical health, and may even cause death. What most people do not realize is: an eating disorder is a symptom of larger psychological problems.
Though more commonly associated with women, approximately 10-15% of anorexia sufferers are males, and there are indications the percentage is higher by sheer fact that men are unlikely to report having a predominantly "female" problem. anad.org.
There was a girl in high school...
We were just two girls who never ran in the same social circles, but one evening we happened to be sitting on the couch at a house party. I couldn't help noticing her clothes hanging loosely off her bones - her face gaunt - cheekbones too pronounced.
As the new girl in town and awkward to begin with, I was pretty much invisible. They kind of looked at me but said hi to her. My guess is they were just being polite because most kept their distance even as they gave her sidelong looks and talking behind their cup.
Did I mention I was awkward? Well, part of being an Aspie is sometimes 'inappropriate' things come out of my mouth. My curiosity got the better of me and I asked a 'taboo' question. "Why don't you eat?"
She wasn't offended at all. In fact, she seemed to relax next to me because I dared to ask about the white elephant in the room. Her simple answer was, "It's the only thing I can control in my life."
Anorexia nervosa
Commonly realized in young women in their teens and early 20's, anorexia nervosa is an eating disorder where the person's perception of self is distorted. What we see as skin over a skeleton, they see as an overweight image in the mirror. One might even say they suffer a phobia of getting fat.
Anorexics will find ways to achieve their goal of losing weight in various forms:
- Inadequate or no eating
- Excessive physical activity
- Purging/vomiting
- Laxatives and diuretics
- Enemas
It would be my best guess to say that everyone goes through a tough, awkward time at some point in their life. Oftentimes it's at the onset of puberty when our bodies are changing, our hormones are raging, and we are just becoming aware of how big the world seems. It can be overwhelming.
Psychological hurdles
Usually considered "the good child," an anorexic is often afraid of failure. They tend to be overachievers and perfectionists. In their quest to please everyone around them they suffer from helplessness, low self-esteem, and inadequacy. In essence, their outward persona is eating them alive.
Social pressure, home influences, difficulty in expressing their feelings, and perhaps a family history of eating disorders may trigger the onset of this debilitating and dangerous behavior.
Bulimia nervosa
Like anorexia, bulimia has the potential to be life-threatening. Often associated with binge and purge, a person who suffers with bulimia often has out-of-control eating episodes followed by vomiting.
Though both are very serious conditions, bulimia causes additional complications because of the vomiting:
- Tooth decay and discoloration.
- Esophageal rupture or extreme thinning of the throat lining
- Loss of potassium, sodium, and water from the body
- Ruination of the entire digestive tract
Psychological hurdles
Generally symptomatic with depression and stress brought on by changes in social acceptance, a bulimic generally knows that their eating habits are bad. They maintain the appearance of average body weight but on the inside they are a mess.
A complicated relationship
My mother and I always had a complicated relationship. There was a sense of competition or something that I cannot quite place and never asked to be a party of.
Being the eldest of four I always took on a "mothering" role with my younger siblings. I did what I could to please my parents and keep myself in their good graces - but sometimes that wasn't enough. When I started my menstrual cycle my mother started harping that I had the "fat American" gene from my father's side and if I wasn't careful I would be short, fat and no one would want me.
You see, to her thinking, Koreans are never fat!
Like a good girl I would eat dinner with the family but when we were excused I would go and throw up. I desperately needed to be wanted and loved. I wanted to make mom happy. And if being the "fat American relative" was bad, then I wanted to be good.
The power struggle
No one really knows what triggers anorexia or bulimia. Far from being a genetically inherited factor, there is a higher risk of developing these disorders when a parent or sibling also has an eating disorder or obsession with image and weight.
The body can survive with near or total starvation, with sips of water, anywhere from 21 to a documented 71 days - an unfortunate achievement by Kevin Lynch of the 10 martyred Irishmen (born May 25, 1956 - died August 1, 1981).
Anorexics suffer with a skewed body image and an irrational fear of getting fat, even when they are severely underweight. Under normal or rational circumstances, we know food is necessary in order to live.
What happens when we starve
- Your metabolism will sustain you for a while by first "eating away" at your body fat
- Bradycardia (abnormally slow heartbeat)
- Hair loss & skin issues
- Hypothermia (due to the body's intrinsic nature to maintain core temperature)
- In women, impaired or staunched menstrual functions (amenorrhea)
- Adverse effects to one's thyroid and eventually the entire body
As with end of life cases, when one's body begins to shut down or fail, there is no longer a necessity for food.
Many anorexics whose body mass index (BMI) have a greater chance of death if they lose 35 to 45% of their body's ideal weight but there is at least a 20% chance of death because of myocardial infarction (heart attack) and organ failure - due in part by the combination of extreme exercise and loss of BMI.
Bulimics increase their chance of death if they are not diagnosed because their excessive vomiting and abuse of diuretics which may cause severe dehydration. Depending on weather and other circumstances, a body can only live up to three DAYS without water.
A quick death is rare because even the short time the body has access to nutrients and sustenance, it absorbs what it can before the food is purged. This may prolong their life but still causes severe damage to their organs and bones.
An obsession with food
When I say people who suffer anorexia and bulimia are obsessed with food most people balk at the thought.
How is that possible if they don't eat?
Food and how it affects their body image is always on their mind.
How many calories was that celery stick?
How many miles do I need to run to burn off that bite of cake?
How many diuretics must I take to make sure I flush everything out of my system?
They starved in the public eye
Isabelle Caro
)Isabelle Caro was literally the billboard girl against anorexia.
- image sources for Isabelle Caro: found through Google searches.
Jeremy Gillitzer
- Image sources for Jeremy Gillitzer: found at City Pages
As you can see, anorexia is suffered by boys and men too. In each of these instances, the common denomination includes a need to please combined with social pressures, mixed with body image issues.
Karen Carpenter
I grew up listening to The Carpenters. Karen was singer with a beautiful, rich voice. She had so much talent and potential. She died at the age of 32 from heart failure due to complications from anorexia nervosa.
At 5'4", she was approximately 91 pounds.
Final thoughts
As for me...
I had a rather short tenure with bulimia because something clicked in my head. I really like food. I like how my body feels with healthy eating. And while I continue to have 'mommy issues' I cannot help being the 'fat American relative' but I'm also the only female in my immediate family with boobs, and I think they're probably jealous.
The sad truth
Too many young people - young men and women - suffer an outrageous disorder for the sake of beauty. The mindscrew of anorexia and bulimia nervosa is very much a psychological game where life and death are the players.
There is hope though. If you know someone who if afflicted then you must advocate where they are blind to help themselves. Treatment is possible and there is a whole range of assistance depending on how advanced they are in health issues.
Sometimes inpatient care is necessary, either in the hospital or in a psychiatric ward. If caught early on, psychiatric or psychological therapy is recommended. There are also nutritionists and professional dietitians who can provide an abundance of healthy alternatives to staying fit.
A great resource for information and finding help in your local area is NEDA (National Eating Disorders Association). They have the tools and knowledge to get you back on track to healthy living in both mind and body. Don't let your mind put the screws to you!
You are beautiful.
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Its such a sad illness, I have starved myself when I was younger, it went in for 3 months, I lost loads of weight then woke up really hungry, Could have been so different. I love Karen Carpenter, such a waste
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The girl I wrote about from high school one day stopped coming to school. I had later found out that she was in the hospital and then a rehabilitation center. Then her parents moved and I never saw her again. I often wonder if she overcame it. I sincerely hope she did.
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Have you tried searching For her on Facebook. You might get lucky
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A very compelling post about a very compelling subject matter.
It seems like only yesterday that I was facing body issues in school and feeling uneasy about it. One look at me would suggest that I have no reason to be insecure about my appearance or that I have episodes of low self-esteem. However, looks can be deceiving. I became self-conscious around peers who seemed to be even thinner than myself, and somehow, I could not see how artificial their body image was despite a whole table of girls sitting around a dinner table and not eating at all.
It turns out that nearly everybody I know suffers from the same problem as me, and that it's most likely a result of everybody else feeling insecure when comparing themselves to their peers. The problem was much larger than I expected and yet, nobody seemed to ever talk about it, or act as if anything was wrong.
I realised that it was probably due to all my friends being the high fashion, superficial kind of people who all idolized the catwalk models and wanted to be just like them. It also doesn't help that being really skinny seems to be the permanent flavour of the month in Asia.
Eventually, I moved away from that friendship circle and it actually really helped, the cure was finding things in life that simply mattered more to me. Things like experiences, deep friendships, acquiring knowledge etc.
Those rewarding activities dwarfed the endless mental and physical suffering I had being around people who only cared about outer appearance.
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Isn't it so frustrating when you have an issue and feel all alone when, in fact, almost everyone has the same issue! I had a hard time talking about it when I was in school because I was terribly shy and socially inadequate.
I wish I could remember what event clicked when I stopped saying "Why me?" and started saying, "Why NOT me...and why not you too?"
And I've found that in most situations, it only takes ONE person to say something with love to open up the floodgates for other souls who didn't have the courage to say it first. That's where you find community and the people you were meant to connect with.
I often turn to self-deprecating humor. It's a two-edged sword I think. It empowers me to say this is who I am and it's okay to laugh at my goofiness. But the sharp edge of it is that is building the wall against doubt or fear or awkwardness. By voicing my imperfections, I take the sting away from anyone who might be thinking or voicing it. It's safe behind my wall...but it also cuts me off from truly being.
"I am such an idiot!"
"Why yes, Meredith, that was an idiot thing to do."
"I know, right?!?!"
[Cue laughter.]
As for my Korean relatives... They're all so petite and pretty and I will always remain the fat American relative, but instead of feeling inadequate around them, I kind of give them a big old bear hug - and if they tease me too bad, I sit on them. It's really kind of hysterical actually. :)
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Phenomenal post. I still struggle back and forth with anorexia. The social pressures associated with beauty for women are enormous. For me, I want to become invisible, not only thinner. I hope many read this and gain awareness.
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From what I've read of your posts @honeyscribe, not only are you dealing with family and peer pressure, but your culture, like mine, seems to focus so much attention on exterior beauty. Believe me when I say I used to want to be invisible. I used to wish the walls would just swallow me up so I didn't have to talk to anyone. It was a long road to get to where I am and I can finally say that I'm comfortable in my own skin...even if I could stand to lose another 20 pounds. :)
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Reading this, I was deeply moved. I was always the "skinny" one in my family, so I did not deal with this pressure growing up. But then, after having children, my body changed and I carried an extra 10lbs. There were other factors in my life at the time, telling me I was no longer attractive or sexy and that my husband was no longer going to be attracted to me. At that time, unaware of what I was doing, I began to exercise at least an hour a day, I was nursing my infant, running around after my toddler, and only eat 900 calories a day! I believe the only thing that kept me from going into full anorexia was the fact that I became pregnant with my third child, and then shortly after that my husband was diagnosed with cancer. With those two events, I stopped caring what the scale said, I had no emotional energy to care. Now, years later I am on a quest to have healthy thought patterns when it comes to food, while losing about 10lbs so I can get back into the healthy bracket after eating comfort food for a few years as I grieved the loss of my first husband. Thanks for the post @merej99 its a good reminder that health is way sexier than a number on a scale.
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I guess that's what it takes - something more important to focus on. I divorced my first husband and was a single mom of 3 young boys. My self-esteem was completely shot. I was overweight, suffer depression, and couldn't sleep without a warm body next to me. At the time I had to eat because I needed as much energy as I could have to get out of bed and take care of my kids. There were some days when my only personal goal was to shower. But when I began to recover, I began to worry about my body again. Who would date a fat body with 3 kids, right? I'd better skinny up so I'd have a fighting chance at love again. But I knew I needed to be healthy for my kids - even if I didn't care about being healthy for myself. I'm not sure if that made sense.
At the time, I chose other destructive behavior like booze and promiscuity, and kept food in the rotation. I guess that's what people with addiction problems do. Thankfully, with the help of very good friends, I was able to heal my mind too. And my current husband loves all of me - from my curves (in the right and wrong places) to my funky feet. But boy, what a battle.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I'm sure it wasn't easy. I just want you to know that you are not alone and from the people who have posted here, you've got a built in Steemit support group. :) <3
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interesting post, thanks for posting
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