Good day, Steemheads!
Today, I ran out of spoons. This is probably the reason why I want to write about the Spoon Theory and let everyone in into our world, the chronic illness community. I don't even know how to start talking about it but I'll try. I guess I want people to have an understanding of our situation, or our lives, in general. Sure enough, if you are healthy, it would be quite difficult to imagine how it is to live a sick person's life, like someone who is chronically ill. When we are healthy, we oftentimes take our good health for granted and make it least of our priorities. But it shouldn't be, because I tell you, it's so hard to be here on the other side.
I'm a spoonie, it's a reference to a person whom we can apply the Spoon Theory, in other words, someone who is disabled or chronically ill. When we say chronically ill, it means he or she is always ill, now and for as long as he or she lives. People who are called chronically ill are those people who have illnesses that impair them to function normally like regular healthy people. Unfortunately, losing both of your kidneys, just like my case, is something chronic and something I have to struggle with until my last breath. I have to deal with a lot of limitations and I have to accept the fact that I am not normal and I am not well.
So, what then is Spoon Theory? It's a metaphor used by chronically ill people to explain their relatively reduced amount of energy for day to day activities and interactions. Spoons are visual representations as a measure to quantify the amount of energy we all have for a day.
The Spoon Theory started when Christine Miserandino discussed about it in an essay back in 2003. It was an essay written to answer her friend's question regarding how lupus feels like. In the narrative, Christine used 12 spoons to represent her limited energy for the day and she took spoons away to represent spending them on regular day activities like taking a bath, going to work, etc. Once the 12 spoons are done, then the person is already exhausted, but she can borrow her spoons for tomorrow but that would leave her with less for the next day's activities. Take note, chronically ill people have very limited energy and we get exhausted easily. According to her theory, spoons or energy may be replaced by rest or a good night sleep. However, chronically ill people may have difficulties sleeping at night so this leads to having lesser and lesser spoons to spend in the future.
Below is a detailed info-graphics chart that shows the Spoon Theory, this is taken from a web source that gives a rich discussion about the topic, Spoon Theory.
Image Source: theodysseyonline.com
For a normal individual, you can have an unlimited number of spoons or you can go on through the day tirelessly consuming your healthy body's energy. But for a spoonie like me, it varies depending on what my situation is. A spoonie could wake up feeling all well and we can think we have 12 spoons, but some days we can have just 6 or 3 or less because we have no guarantee of being well all the time since we just swing from unstable to very unstable, depending on the triggers and what's going on inside of us. We could be in pain, or have fever, fatigue and all sorts of things normal people don't usually experience.
Please take note that each task and interaction drains us and consumes a number of those spoons. If you have friends that are chronically ill, if you want to understand them more, let them explain things to you using the Spoon Theory. This is one way of understanding how we feel about our days, if it's a good one or a bad one. If we can do more for you or if we can't.
I feel the need to talk about this now, because I think it's time to let people know about it. So, they understand me, somehow. I'm sorry, I might miss some things you send me like PMs and DMs, I may be aware of them but chooses to ignore them when I no longer have the spoon to handle them. I am not handicapping or justifying being lazy or being a snob, but when I say I have no spoons left, it really means I don't have it anymore. Please do not mistake me as someone passive or insensitive or apathetic. I really just can't exhaust too much of me specially for things that aren't positive. I also have to protect myself from negativity amongst all things. But a good thing though is if I'm out of spoons, it means I really thought well and from that, new challenging ideas emerge and I become better. Just bear with me as I rest and try to replenish my spoons. I may not get back to you soonest on your messages or comments as much as I would want to but rest assured I have read them and I've thought about them.
References:
https://butyoudontlooksick.com
https://www.theodysseyonline.com
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