This is the story of the births of my three babies. A story of a complete turnaround in mind-frame, and in outcomes. My three children all had different birth stories, which, in and of itself, isn't surprising. Every baby and birth is different! My stories, however, are unique. They're unique, because of the series of events, what I did and how they turned out. Unique, because when I deliberately defied doctors and their policies, everything turned out better.

Birth is a natural event, not a medical emergency. It doesn't belong in hospitals...hospitals create the need to be there. Actually, it only started to become a hospital thing in the late 19th century. Before that, when midwives did homebirths as the only way to do it, there was rarely ever a need for medical intervention. Now, almost every birth gets intervention. It transitioned to hospitals and modern doctors as a way for men to show their knowledge of female anatomy, and for a while, men wouldn't let women (midwives) practice in their hospitals...they needed as much exclusive practice as they could get. Once hospital births were practised for a while, it became very regulated, forcing midwives to "certify" that they were capable of helping other women to give birth, even though they've been doing it almost flawlessly since the beginning of humanity. Hospital intervention causes complications and emergencies, and keeps the need for birthing in hospitals going because the damage they cause creates the need for more medical intervention. Avoiding a hospital completely, when there's no complications (low risk) would most likely ensure that you'll never need one for birth.

I've experienced this first hand. Here's my trilogy:

The First Baby

My first was 12 years ago, before I woke up to medical fallacy. At that time, I did what doctors told me. Especially being my first baby and being so young. The entire pregnancy was perfect, except that every time I took the prenatal vitamins, I felt really sick. I also felt extremely uneasy and uncomfortable getting all the internal checks throughout the pregnancy, but I thought this was necessary, considering a doctor said it was, and everyone who's had children told me that's what they had to do as well. So I went against my gut, against my own instincts and let the doctor do his thing. I had no idea that I could have refused, and didn't even think that would be a good idea, even if I could, because the "doctor knows best". (It's actually not a good thing to do, it makes for a risk of infection every time it's done, and the results tell you nothing; they are extremely inconsistent). At the end of my pregnancy, I was 41 weeks and they did a well baby ultrasound that showed low amniotic fluid. This was the perfect excuse for an induction, which was scheduled the very next day. The doctor scared me into going along with this by saying it could be a dry birth if I wait. He said a dry birth could kill us.

The next day, I walked into the hospital feeling perfectly fine. They hooked me up to the IV, and started the induction. There was a birthing tub in the room, but they said I couldn't even use it because I was being induced. I was limited to just walking around in the room dragging the IV tray with me. Once I went into active labour, all hell broke loose. I couldn't handle the pain of induction...they offered me the gas mask, which I took happily at that point, but it did absolutely nothing other than make me sick on top of the pain. A little while later, they offered it again. I said no, that it made me sick...but the nurse decided I needed it anyway, and tried to force it on me! I had to physically fend her off! When she finally backed off, I asked for the Demerol shot. After a few more hours, she finally came back and said that the anesthesiologist was finally there so if I still wanted the Demerol, I could get it now. At that point, the induction made my contractions extremely long and painful, and feeling like they were all just one big contraction...I couldn't catch a break to have a breather. It was too much, and it was already 7 hours of that intense pain, so I asked for the epidural instead, which they did right away. That was more painful than anything! But, it took all lower body feeling away, so I could breath again. I asked for some food, the nurse didn't want to give me anything, but I convinced her to let me have a saltine cracker....which she said she thinks is the reason the baby's heart rate dropped and I was rushed away for an emergency c-section. (It was actually because I was induced, medicated and stressed out from the whole experience...that's a recipe for disaster). So I had my first via "emergency" c-section, which only happened because the baby was unnaturally forced to come out before he was ready, then put in distress because of the stress from the pain of the induction and the medications I was given. It also turned out that low amniotic fluid was no reason at all to induce, because near the end of pregnancy, fluids will go up and down...it could have been right back up to where it should have been the very next day, but the doctor had to jump on that opportunity to get an induction under his belt.

I didn't realize any of that at the time, though. I just thought it was a good thing I was there, because it could have gone very bad without the hospital staff and expertise! I never put it together that it was them that did it to me...even though it was an induction, and my pregnancy was perfect up until the moment I let doctors take control. After the c-section, the doctor told me that I could never have a natural birth, that any more babies I might have would have to scheduled c-sections. I didn't want any more kids at that point...I didn't want to go through a c-section again.

The Second Baby

8 years later, I learned a lot. I wanted another baby, but there was no way I was scheduling a c-section. I planned a homebirth with a midwife to ensure I wasn't whisked off to the surgery room...to ensure that it would go smooth and stress-free. The pregnancy went very well again. No problems. When labour started, I called my midwife, who was doing appointments at the time, and told me to wait until contractions were closer together and then page her. It came on really fast, though. I sat on the toilet at one point, and there was blood. It freaked us out at the time, but now looking back it was nothing...turns out that spontaneous labour after a c-section makes for some bleeding during labour. But since the midwife wasn't there to assess, she advised that we go to the hospital and she would be right there. Because I had to take an ambulance, (I had no ride), the OB at the hospital took over, with my midwife as my advocate. The doctor didn't like the situation at all. She wanted to take me right down for a c-section, but when I got there, I was already pretty much 10cm dilated and just about ready to push, so there wasn't enough time, and there were no immediate apparent issues that warranted risking it at that point. The doctor made me lay on my back with my legs up to push...and after just 2 pushes, I could feel that the baby was almost there, but she decided to just go ahead and use the vacuum. After she did, then she told us that the vacuum might actually kill him so watch out for these signs...it wasn't even necessary. I know it wasn't necessary....

Because I was on my back trying to push, my hips were closed and fighting gravity, so the baby couldn't freely descend through the birth canal, but the doctor's solution was to suck him out, instead of getting me into a position that would allow for more freedom to drop with gravity's help. She continued...I wanted delayed cord clamping. She decided she was just going to go ahead and clamp it right away, even with my midwife telling her no. She didn't care, she just wanted to go home, (yes she actually said that!)

My baby boy has been in perfect health, and his birth was only 4 hours; 2 of them I didn't even realize I was in labour! I was getting up to pee a lot more often than usual, for a couple of hours early in the morning, then it came on strong and fast.

The Third Baby

I was going to have my third baby at home. I did not want to set foot in a hospital again, and didn't want any contact with any medical doctor...and I did just that! Here's my beautiful third baby's story, that I had written out while it was fresh and posted elsewhere:

On March 2nd there was absolutely no sign of baby coming, and he was due on the 3rd. We had planned a home birth and were all ready for it, but I thought he would be a week or more late, especially since my last two babies were late. I went to bed that night feeling like usual, and got woken up a few times by my 2 year old, as usual, lol...I couldn't help but notice some slight tightening every once in a while, though. I didn't really think much of it, because it wasn't crampy at all, just very light tightening.
When I got up that morning and went about my normal routine, I felt the tightening turn to cramps, and started timing them to see if it was time... Sure enough, they were regular and getting stronger, fast. I paged my midwife, who first didn't want to come because the contractions weren't strong enough, but decided to come right away anyway to check on everything. Daddy was nervous of a home birth all of a sudden, lol, I guess just being in the heat of the moment scared him a bit. I stayed calm and reassured him it would be just fine.

Once my midwife got here, she checked vitals, all was good, but contractions were still mild enough to not even disturb me, so she wanted to leave for a little while. I told her I'd rather her stay because of how quick his brother was, this could pick up, fast... So she agreed to set up and then leave until it picked up. By the time she was set, (which wasn't long, maybe 20 minutes, tops), contractions were very intense, so she stayed, lol. I laboured upstairs walking from my washroom to my bedroom while daddy stayed downstairs with the boys...

Every contraction, my midwife put pressure on the love handle areas of my lower back, and it was like magic! It took away most of the intensity. She kept chatting with me, and telling me things like "let him come", "open your hips and let him drop freely", "relax and slow your breathing", etc. That helped a lot! She didn't ever check for dilation... At one point she said because I'm sweating through contractions, he's coming soon, and at another point, near the end, she said she thinks I'm about 9cm. Lol. Not one check, though, because she said every check increases the risk of infection to the baby. When it seemed like I was near the end, she called the back up midwife, who came quickly.

At one point, I sat on the toilet for a few minutes. The midwife and her back up tried to get a heart rate while I was sitting, but couldn't. When I stood, they couldn't get it either, so they tried to get me on my bed to get it.

I didn't make it to the bed, ha ha.

I stopped and leaned on the bed for a contraction, and with it came an urge to push. They were still telling me they need me on the bed for a minute... But I couldn't. I squat, and contracted... They stopped telling me to move when they noticed a head. I pushed only once, when I felt like pushing, and he was here! :) I didn't even feel him crown, and my water broke at the time he was born, on its own. I didn't even realize that daddy came up to check on us just as he was coming, so he got to watch the birth :)

I took my baby and climbed up in my bed, snuggling with him for a while. Meanwhile, daddy and big brother came up to meet the new edition. :) later on, daddy came in again to cut the cord.

Conceived and born in the same room. No issues whatsoever... No tearing, no IV used, no pain relief needed at all, no S&S at any point, no manually breaking my water, no vacuum/forceps, no intervention of any kind. He just came... And it hardly hurt at all. About an hour of active labour... And on a side note, he's the only one of my 3 that had absolutely no issues, and the only one who I birthed without a doctor present at any point in time... Actually, the more control doctors had during my births, the more problems there were. So happy that this one went without a hitch, at home and after a c-section. :) <3

I'm living proof that doctors do more harm than good when it comes to normal child birth, and I'm not the only one. I've known many, many mommas over the years who have had similar experiences. Birth is meant to be an empowering, euphoric experience. Not a traumatizing horror story. I felt used and abused during my first birth, but during my third, I felt in control, empowered, excited, and over-the-moon with joy! There's no better feeling! Avoid doctor-led births, and enjoy momma-led births. You are in control. Your body, your baby, your choice, your birth! It should never be "they wouldn't let me..." or "they said I could do...". They are not the boss, they are support. That's why home births are so amazing, midwives are a guest in your home. They listen to you. Not the other way around.

Trust your bodies, mommas. Your body knows best!