In this compassionate article, Jerold Kreisman presents a series of powerful steps to assist you as you learn to talk to a loved one. He explains why the rules of conversation are different for different people and offers guidance on creating healthy relationships through the power of conversation. Kreisman is a clinical psychologist and marriage counselor who have received specialized training in relationship and family therapy. He is the president of The New School for Communication, a renowned learning institution in Chicago. He is the author of I Love You, Don't Leave Me, and many other books and articles on building loving relationships and how to get your partner to love you again.
Often, when a person has been hurt, they tend to be too raw and honest with their loved ones about the details of the event for fear of being criticized. Yet, many grievers mistakenly think that criticism is never welcome. To avoid criticizing others, many grievers choose to withdraw from daily interactions with their loved ones. Relationships can and should heal from painful experiences. When a person withdraws from sharing his or her deepest thoughts and confides in a friend or trusted coauthor, the healing process often takes longer.
When a person chooses to engage in therapeutic communication with a friend, client, or loved one, it provides a safe place where there is no fear of judgment or criticism. There are many grieves that arise from unresolved relationships. These types of grieves are often the result of unresolved anger, guilt, or sadness. In counseling, clients discover new ways of relating to their loved ones that make for deeper, more satisfying relationships. By participating in ongoing bonds with a trusted friend, client, or loved one, clients discover new levels of connection and emotional fulfillment.
When I Married a Desperate Griefmaker, by Kerry Kreisman, PhD teaches clients how to communicate with a loved one with borderline personality disorder by using a kind, compassionate guide. This is a book that will help you not only learn how to communicate with this person, but also helps you become a better friend to that person. Kreisman's book is chock full of great advice that will help you deal with a difficult loved one, as well as offer you insight into your own behavior and communication patterns. When I Married a Desperate Griefmaker, by Kerry Kreisman, PhD includes many "do's and don'ts" that will help you help your client, and yourself, through the difficult times ahead.
One of the many "do's" in this great book is setting clear and concise boundaries. It's easy to get caught up in our own excitement and enthusiasm when it comes to love, which is often what drives our relationships. Many people with borderline personality disorder fall prey to bouts of intense emotions and frustration, leading them to say and do things that are far out of line with their normal behavior. Setting clear and concise boundaries in this compassionate guide will help you keep your loved one in line, so they do not act inappropriately.
Another "do" in this book is that it is written by a psychiatrist with more than 40 years of experience in this area. Dr. Kreisman knows the dilemmas facing many families today, and he shares the solutions and recommendations that have worked for him and thousands of others. In addition, this book is written in an easy to read format, which makes it very accessible and enjoyable. There are no vague references to other books or therapists, just well laid out advice and methods that are simple to understand. It is written in a "you" tone, so it is very encouraging and comforting to the reader.
This comprehensive, written by a psychiatrist with more than 40 years of experience in this area of psychiatric counseling, will help you take control of your own feelings and behaviors. If you have a loved one with borderline personality disorder, you will find that this quick guide was written with you in mind and geared towards helping you get control of your own life. You will quickly begin to see that there are often explosive conflicts and emotions that arise in every family situation and it will be helpful to remember that you, too, will often feel angry, hurt, and disappointed by your own reactions.
This quick, useful, and compassionate guide by Dr. Kreisman, R.N., is filled with practical tips and techniques that help you talk to a loved one with borderline disorder without being critical or needy. If you have a loved one with BPD, this book by the prolific Dr. Kreisman will give you a unique and powerful set of tools for effectively communicating with him or her. Highly recommended! Highly recommend! Must read for all concerned.
