A Nigerian Perception of Fakery.

If you're different from the average Nigerian, you're perceived as fake.

During a conversation with two of my closest friends, about a year ago, the subject of fakery came up, and I asked my friends what they thought of me on the subject. I was surprised when they gave a "I'd rather not have this conversation" look, because I expected a quick affirmative reply of my authenticity. When I pushed for an answer, they vaguely said that even though I wasn't fake, I showed elements of it in my behaviour. That reply shook me more than it should have, being that I almost always do not care about people's opinions of myself, and this is because they're often wrong, but these were my friends, the two people I basically spent everyday with. Although we owned different apartments in the same building, we were unavoidably always in each others space, how could they know so little of me to think that I wasn't being 100% real with them?

Alone, at a later time that day , I ruminated on that incident, wondering why the two people who I knew I could be 100% real with, and constantly was, somehow thought that I was faking some part of the experience they got when with me. I didn't arrive at an answer then, and decided not to dwell on it. I'd forgotten about that incident until today when Moses my friend and housemate of eight months said jokingly that I was similar to a character in a movie we were watching, a character whose role portrayed fakery. I paused the movie and asked him to outline all the ways in which my general behaviour suggested fakery. He also couldn't give a tangible reply, but after an hour of reminiscing, I now have an idea of why people would think that I and others like me portray fakeness in a country like Nigeria.

I would really love to expound on the reasons I've thought of, but I can't wait to get back to the movie I was watching last night, JEXI. Adam Devine excels in the business of comedy, and this one is giving me comic orgasm, so here's a summary, If you're different from the average Nigerian, you're perceived as fake.

You don't get it? Okay, here's a breakdown.

‌§ If you learnt to speak any other type of English Language (American, British, African-American/Black), different from the Nigerian English Language, you're fake.

§ If you happen to be one of the Nigerians who grew up to find English Language as their mothertongue, and do not speak the lingua franca, the Nigerian Pidgin, or do no speak it well enough, you just might be fake.

§ If you happen to not like Eba or Fufu, and you like cereals/noodles/snacks, then you might be faking it, and if you and your friends comot go chop for Buka, and you dey order rice when eba dey, na im be say you dey form, and you're fake.

§ If your dress sense is too western for their liking, you're fake.

§ if your taste for luxury is more than the average they're used to, you're fake.

The list should be longer than this, but memories of seemingly fake instances are mostly faded, and bullshit varies from person to person. It's surprising how decidedly refusing to be on the path of averageness can make you the bad guy, but I've come to find that individual/collective differences, and tolerance are some of the most avoided topics in Nigeria, it's way much easier to judge people.

E fit be say I dey wrong, or as my brother @tudors talk "I get plenty mumu friends", but if you fit relate to the subject matter or you don experience or hear of any instance, abeg talk your own for the comment section. Oshe!

Bright(Lucent) Otto.