As the police sirens began echoing in the distance, Harley Quinn watched in awe as Catwoman made mince meat out of the Black Mask's men. The sight was terrifying and captivating at the same time. Using a combination of lightning speed, strength and meticulously honed skills, she showed these men what happens when you target helpless civilians in the Catwoman's territory. Her expertise in martial arts and gymnastics were on full display. Harley herself was able to put down several of them, but compared to her hero she looked like a child.
"We're done here, let's go" Catwoman said without looking at Harley, as the last of those men was knocked out. It was amazing how effortlessly commanding she could be.
"K.." Harley said while using a guy's long hair to clean blood off of her baseball bat, before following her.
The cops arrested the Joker's men and confiscated the explosives they were going to use to blow up dozens of apartment buildings in the area.
"Batman, its done." Catwoman spoke into her communicator, as she and Harley stood on top of a skyscraper nearby. She walked a few steps so she could keep her conversation with her partner/lover private. As Catwoman finished talking and turned to look at her, she saw Harley wearing the goofiest of grins.
"What?" She asked.
"Oooohhhh you and Bats are happy again. And I'm so glad you are! You guys are such a cute couple with your pointy ears! So are you gonna get married? Are you gonna make little BatCat babies? Are you gonna be like the Queen and King of Gotham? Are you gonna like have your own army of Bats and Cats? Are you gonna...."
"Harley please!" Catwoman sighed, suddenly feeling exhausted, "I've told you, I don't talk about my personal life."
"I know, I know" Harley said in the tone of a child who had been told that the toy she wants is too expensive. "You won't even tell me who you are! I know Pammy knows your real identity, but she won't tell me either", she said, pouting.
"Gee I wonder why?" Catwoman began walking away. But then she stopped. Ivy's hideout was outside of Gotham and was at least a half hour drive from where they were. She didn't want to leave Harley here like this, especially since Black Mask knew that she had been of assistance in foiling his plan.
"Do you need a ride back to Ivy's place?" She asked.
"SQEEE!!" Harley exclaimed and Catwoman mentally groaned "I get to ride in your cool car? Fuck yeah!" She said excitedly as she ran to Catwoman and wrapped her legs around her from behind. She was literally going to piggyback off of her. The Cat told her to hold on and began swinging over to where her customized Jaguar I - Pace was parked. They got in and Harley's mouth went off again.
"This is so awesome Cat Lady. Its custom! Did you customize it yourself? How much did it cost?" She asked excitedly.
Catwoman kept her eyes on the road and gave a curt reply, "Yes I did, and six figures".
"Yeah.... thought it looked expensive. So tell me about you and the Bat. Do you guys go on dates?"
Catwoman did not answer.
"What kind of dates do you guys go on? Like, is he romantic? Do you guys have candle lit dinners? Or do you just beat up bad guys together and that's your date?"
Catwoman did not answer. She just stared at the road ahead and imagined she was in the jacuzzi with Bruce.
"Is he good in bed? Is he kinky? Do you guys do anal?"
At this, Catwoman could not conceal her annoyance. Her jaw clenched and she exhaled audibly through her nose.
Of course, Harley picked up on this.
"YOU DO!! I knew it" she crossed her arms, almost triumphantly.
Catwoman considered throwing her out of the moving car, but didn't want to deal with an infuriated Poison Ivy.
"Tell me, is he a good kisser?" Harley asked again.
Catwoman finally looked at Harley and offered a deal, "if I tell you, will you be quiet the rest of the way?"
Harley stuck her tongue out to her upper lip as if considering this very complex proposal, and said "ok!"
"Fine" Catwoman spoke, looking ahead "yes, he is an amazing kisser. His kisses can make my toes curl and my heart race. There. Now please be quiet."
Harley pretended to zip her lip and sat quietly. She did glance at her idol occasionally. More than half of her face was covered by a mask, but underneath she was probably a very beautiful woman. Her lips by themselves were fantasy fuel. And you could tell that she had sharp cheekbones. And those eyes! Those emerald like eyes that stared straight into Harley's soul and could make her spill all her secrets.
Having relinquished her gab privileges, Harley began to think about her very first encounter with Catwoman. It was thirteen years and three months ago. Harleen Quinzel had recently adopted the moniker "Harley Quinn" and was assisting the Joker with what would have been his Masterpiece. The Batman was chained to an electric chair and Joker was going to fry him on live Television. The Clown Prince of Crime was delivering his speech about how this would be a poetic end to their storied rivalry, Harley heard what sounded like a whip being cracked. A tall, slender figure clad in skin tight leather was attacking and incompacitating Mr J's men before they even had time to react. It was the famous thief, Catwoman. Harley recovered from her initial shock and tried to hit her with her mallet from behind, but somehow Catwoman knew she was there and delivered a powerful kick to her midsection, causing Harley to clutch her stomach and fall to the ground. The Catwoman then gave a savage beating to Mr J before freeing Batman. Together the Bat and Cat began to knock down the men who were left standing. Harley was mad that her Puddin' was harmed and tried to attack the Catwoman again, but was knocked unconscious when she received a kick to the chin from one of those lean and muscular legs.
Hours later, when she came to on the floor of Mr J's hideout she found him yelling at his men about how his Masterpiece was ruined. Harley too recieved a punch to the face when she asked why the Catwoman came to Batman's aid. As she sat holding an ice pack to her bruised eye socket, she kept thinking about how well the Cat Lady fought. She wondered if she'd ever be able to learn those awesome moves.
Harley started keeping an eye out for any news on Catwoman. She would be all eyes and ears when news channels talked about some impossible heist she had pulled. Or when the newspaper had a story about her stealing Crown Jewels or something. She also followed any theories or analyses put forward by criminal psychologists about her. Harley herself concluded that the woman behind the Cat probably had abandonment issues, and was a survivor of abuse. It was possible that she had suffered due to the class divide and spent her childhood in poverty, given how she often robbed wealthy mob bosses.
The next time Harley would see Catwoman in the flesh, was when Mr J decided to rob a charity gala organised by Billionaire Bruce Wayne. He had planned to shoot everyone there as soon as they took all the cash and jewellery.
As usual, the Batman and Robin showed up to ruin Mr J's plans. But Mr J was prepared and had about 30 more men as back up. Batman and Robin were surrounded, but just like last time, with the crack of a whip the Catwoman suddenly appeared out of nowhere. She was the game changer and soon Joker's men began going down. She used her whip to disarm the men, several at a time. She was so quick that dodging their bullets seemed like a joke to her. But, there were just too many men and too many guns. In the chaos, Joker pulled out his gun and took aim at Robin. But Catwoman pushed the kid out of the way and the bullet hit her in her bicep. Batman screamed "CATWOMAN!" and ran to her immediately. Most of the men were out cold by now, and those who were able to, were running away. Harley's gun was kicked out of her hands by Robin and he restrained her, while Batman hammered Joker with one punch after another. As if on cue, the cops arrived. Batman went right back to the injured Catwoman, lifted her up gently and left with Robin in tow.
As Harley sat alone in her jail cell, her mind kept replaying the scene when Batman came running to save Catwoman. The concern he showed for her, the gentleness he displayed as he held her in his arms. It was obvious that he cared about her a lot. In her heart, Harley knew that her Mr J would never do something like that for her. He would never hold her with such care, or even come to her aid.
Soon after they escaped from Arkham, Harley messed up Mr J's favourite purple suit. She accidentally spilled some hot chocolate on it. Mr J then proceeded to kick her in the stomach, tell her she was a waste of flesh, before throwing her outside to the unforgiving December cold. Harley sat in an an alleyway wearing only a pair of shorts and a tank top, she could feel her freezing cheeks being warmed by her tears. As she curled up into a ball in a pathetic attempt to protect herself from the frosty weather, she heard a voice say "Here, put these on". She looked up to see the Catwoman standing over her. She was about to run when the Cat said "Please dont be stupid. If I wanted to hurt you I wouldn't be standing here with all this stuff. Now put them on." She threw a sweater, a warm overcoat and a pair of wool-blend pants to her. Harley was grateful for the warmth as the fabric enveloped her. "Its chicken soup" Catwoman said handing her a thermos
"Uh.. thanks Cat Lady. But why? Why you bein' so nice to me?" Harley asked as she sipped the delicious chicken soup. She hadn't eaten all day.
"Well someone had to be" came the matter-of-fact reply.
"How long Harley?" Catwoman asked her, looking a bit angry, "how long are you going to lick the Joker's boots?"
"I don't..." Harley tried to answer, but was cut off.
"UNTIL HE CRACKS YOUR FUCKING SKULL? UNTIL HE KILLS YOU?"
"No... he doesn't mean to. It was my fault. I spilled hot chocolate on his..."
"WAKE THE FUCK UP HARLEY!!" Catwoman shouted at her "He doesn't love you. The Joker is INCAPABLE of loving anyone except himself. He's been using you since the say he met you. And when he has no more use for you, he's going to put a bullet in your head and toss your corpse into a ditch."
Harley began to cry "No! You don't know anything! My Puddin' does love me!"
She fell to her knees and sobbed "he loves me.... he loves me".
Catwoman placed a hand on her shoulder and convinced her to come to a safe house, where she could spend the night. It was a run down, abandoned motel. But at least it would keep Herley out of the cold and away from the creeps who roamed the night. Catwoman had probably used it quite often as the room she gave Harley looked lived in. Before she left, the East End's protector said one last thing, "Harley, no one is going to respect you unless you learn to respect yourself. You think you love the Joker, but what you really love is the memory of those crumbs of affection he threw at you when you first met. You just keep hoping that you'll get some of those crumbs again. Just remember this before you decide to go back to him."
To her eternal shame, Harley did go back to the Joker.
Their next encounter was far from friendly. A barrage of kicks and punches rained down as Catwoman wiped the floors with Harley.
"WHERE IS HE? WHERE'S THE JOKER?" she roared "I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU IF YOU DON'T TELL ME HARLEY!" Harley knew something like this could happen when Mr J killed Robin. But she had no idea the Catwoman could be this brutal. Or that she cared about Robin so much. Harley could see the tears that coated the exposed part of her face. Tears of rage. Fearing that she really might actually beat her to death, Harley told her where he was.
"If you warn him, I'll come back for you." Catwoman told her in an icy tone before leaving. However, Mr J had found out that Catwoman was inquiring of his whereabouts and fled town for a while. When he finally did resurface, Harley ran to see him. To ask him where he had gone without telling her. Unfortunately for her, Joker knew that she had told Catwoman on him. Harley was punished.
In the middle of the night, a car came to a halt on the outskirts of Gotham. The backdoor opened and the unconscious body of a woman was pushed out. The Joker's goons drove away, leaving Harley for dead.
When she opened her eyes, the first thing she saw was Catwoman looking down at her. Gone was the fury she had seen months ago. Now, all her green eyes held was compassion. "You're safe now Harley. He can't hurt you anymore", she said caressing Harley's hair. Harley realized that they were inside a house and that they weren't alone. Right behind Catwoman were two young women. One of them a blonde, the other with purple hair.
"This is Holly" Catwoman told her as the blond smiled, "and Karon", and the purple haired one said hello. "They're going to take care of you. This is a farmhouse. It's quiet, peaceful and secure. No one will hurt you." With that the Catwoman turned to leave.
"Thank you" Harley said "why .... why'd ya help me?"
"Because you don't deserve what he did to you. No one does."
These words kept playing in Harley's mind over and over. They were so true. Harley did not deserve what that piece of scum did to her. What he had been doing to her for years. Her sadness was replaced with anger.
Harley had spent the next few days recovering. Holly and Karon were super nice and Harley wished she could hang out with them some more. But she had work to do. One night, as the couple slept she snuck out, leaving behind a note for Catwoman which read "I'm so sorry about Robin".
In her mission to hurt Joker, Harley met the love of her life, the genius botanist Poison Ivy. Compared to the affection and passion she recieved from her beautiful Red, taking all of Joker's money and leaving him penniless seemed like just a bonus. She and Red became inseparable and sometimes the Catwoman would enlist their services. Harley's respect for her grew each time they worked together. Each time she saw Catwoman save a life and strike terror into the hearts of those who would harm the innocent. Harley decided she wanted to be like her. A force for good. Sure, she was a criminal now and would probably never be able to return to the field of clinical psychology again. But she could make sure that no other woman ended up like her.
Harley's train of nostalgia was interrupted when she heard Catwoman talk onto her communicator.
"I'm just taking Harley back to Ivy's. We'll get there in about 10 minutes. Yes, I will. Right. See ya!"
Harley reckoned it was Batman, and the last thing he said must have been something naughty, judging from the blush that spread over Catwoman's face. She didn't talk about her life but Harley could tell just how happy she was ever since he was back in her life. Her whole being seemed to light up when she talked to or about him. Harley shipped the fuck out of the Bat and the Cat and knew that there wasn't a cooler couple in existence. She had seen them fight side by side and was awestruck every time. Their skills seemed to compliment and enhance each other, the sum being much greater than it's parts.
Harley remembered when Catwoman didn't even want to call herself a hero, in spite of all the good she did. She just didn't see the good in herself. It may have stemmed from low self esteem or simply a lifetime of pretending not to care in order to guard her heart. Or perhaps, a combination of both. But today, the Catwoman seemed to have embraced her role as a protector.
As they pulled up before Ivy's hideout, Harley finally spoke again.
"Can I just ask one more thing, now that were here?"
"Sure, why the hell not!"
"Remember how you used to say you weren't a hero? I was wonderin', do you think you're a hero now?"
Catwoman rolled her eyes, but have her a gentle smile and said "Yes, I do feel heroic. Are you happy now?"
Harley squealed with joy, put her arms around the woman she so admired and kissed her on the cheek, before jumping out. She noticed how Catwoman didn't drive away until Harley reached the door and Pam opened it. She wasn't surprised. After all, looking out for others is what the Catwoman did best.
