Shadrach,meshach and Abednego by @joelmaxwell

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego again?
C’mon you guys should be over with these dudes.

For real, I am sorry.
I am sorry that I don’t share same opinion with millions of Christians all over the world.
And I am not saying "I am sorry" so I don’t get lynched or mobbed.
C’mon, I am just being polite. No one will beat me up because of some vegan Hebrew boys –they are not Jesus!

Bruh, I can’t help but understand that those dudes were simply teenagers going through their rebellious phase. And a thousand years later, a father who doesn’t want his son to beg a neigbour's child for meat would want to portray Shadrach and his gang as befitting mentors.

Dude, the Hebrew boys weren’t oppose to meat in their house…give your son meat! It’s protein!
Protein is good for your son; he doesn’t want to be malnourished that’s why he is begging. Cause if he is malnourished, he will get sick and you will spend a lot on his bills.
He is doing it for the family! He is a hero, like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. Only that he forged his own path!

So back to Shadrach and his vegan friends. These dudes weren’t opposed to meat or anything, they were just Hebrew rogue-teens who wanted to stand out.

Take a look at the facts: their parents, families and country were conquered and taken to a strange land. Obviously, they won’t have the best of meals. But by some stroke of luck these turtle ninjas Hebrew boys were recruited into a special royal internship programme made available by the king -King Nebuchadnezzar.

Nebuchadnezzar was a tough guy and all choleric, so these dudes decided that they will pull the most outrageous stunts in their royal summer camp.
They planned not to wash plate, not to cut glass or stand straight during the assembly. But when they got there, things were way higher than they expect.
Mansion, swimming pool, staff and gardeners.
They had the King’s official pass. It was ‘Take whatever you want baby, just do well in the final test!”

So Hebrew boys being well-cultured and home trained, they said no alcohol, no smoking, no parties, no women! Which was a bold move and a show of discipline. But once they refused the food, Light Mark left the group chat! Once they said, no turkey, no fried rice, no junk…I was done with them.
I know their mother will feel exactly the way their instructor felt, “Mutherfuckers, just eat. It’s free!”

And mehn, the 'not bowing down' part was a really bold move. I didn’t see that coming. Even Jesus was chilling in the Babylonian fire just to have a feel of hell, he didn’t see them coming.

So these dudes…lol…it’s funny how rebellious these kids were back in the day.
Now, kids listening to rock music or Billie Ellish or Tyler the creator think they are eccentric, weird and odd.

When your pastor used to say “The bible has everything!” It wasn’t all hype.

Here we are taking about teens that refused to follow the instruction of the nation, the nation that took over their parent’s home and country, arguably the world power at that time.
They didn’t do it in tweets or memes, they stood in the face of their colonial masters, the royalties and the police and said “Fuck you! I don’t relate to your Golden Image. I don’t listen to your Babylonian jams! I only listen to Yusuf!”

Everyone was like “WHO’S YUSUF?”

They were like “A Muslim who converted to Judaism and is making back to back hits in the underground Hebrew hiphop scene!”

Awkward silence.

Everybody stared for a moment, nodded and said “That’s enlightening. If not for you guys all of us wouldn’t have heard of Yusuf. We’ll check his music later but this is a national event and it’s time to bow. Although, we like you taste in music we have to put you guys into the fire!”

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego said “The Lord might save us. But he might be busy with similar stuff he was doing when we were capture. So if he is, I guess we will roast like the turkey we refused to it. And, mehn, that’s the circle of like. Eaters of turkey to roasted turkey imposter. But if you may-”

The guards were done with the talk and threw them into the fire. AND THE GUARDS BURNT THEMSELVES FOR DRAMATIC EFFECT.
I don’t get that part of some guards getting caught in flames. I don’t know if it was actually what the bible said or My Book Of Bible Story decided to spice things up. But I read that the fire burnt some guards. That’s weird.

But the vegetarian kids didn’t die and Nebuchadnezzar recognized Jesus in the fire. Which must have been an awkward moment for the son of God cause he and this Babylonian King haven’t official met before.
But here the King is recognizing him and calling him “Son of Man” -a name he will be called many hundreds of years later when he finally decides to be born by a woman who had a strange relationship with an angel.

But I must admit that Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were great friends. For Meshach and Abednego to accept to Shadrach spontaneous statement to the camp instructor “We will not eat the king’s meat”.
If it was Divine, Tommie and I in that situation. And Tommie just goes like “We will not eat the King’s—“
Me and Divine will be like “Yo! Yo! Stop it! We didn’t make any of such decision man. Its democracy in this bitch!
And for us, we need protein! You can eat you bitterleaf and salt… we love you but we ain’t joining in that. Maybe, we will join you but let’s eat first!”