Steemit Engagement Challenge | S14W3 | Parent's Strict Behavior and Children's Mental Health

source edited on Canva

Introduction

Hello to everyone reading my post! Trust you are having a good time at your various locations.My name is Ade and my handle is @adeade. I am here to participate in the discussion about "parent's strict behavior and children's mental health" by responding to questions surrounding the subject-of-discuss. Before I begin to respond to some questions below, let me quickly describe my keywords as they are used in the piece. Here are the keywords:

• Mental health: this is the psychological state, mental or social well- being which determine how we cope with the activities of life.

• Strictness: this is to be governed by exact rules

• Flexible: willing to give way for another influence.

Note: the descriptions above are according to how they are used in this piece.

With all sincerity, I believe many parents have failed when it comes to parenting. It is really sad reading about the story of the Korean child. In my opinion, I would say the situation is an imbalance of strictness and assurance of love. Most parents break their child while trying to make them. Let me respond to the questions asked below one after the other:

🙍 What are the advantages and disadvantages of parents strict behavior?

Parenting is a very difficult task that requires the combination of maturity with tactics. Parents should know when and on what to be strict or flexible with when dealing with their children. Being strict with a child has both advantages and disadvantages. Here are some of the advantages:

• Idealist: children raised under strict conditions usually grow up to become idealist. This is because they see things from the perspective of the way it should be rather than the way it really is. This point is both an advantage as well as disadvantage. It all depends on the situation.

• Rigidity: children that are brought up by strict parents tend to be more rigid in life. They usually hold on firmly to what they personally believe in. They are not easily manipulated.

• Stable in thought: children brought up by strict parents are usually stable in thought. They know what they want and that is all they want to achieve. Even in a strict condition in life, they remain focused.

• They stick to rules: children raised by strict parents do not usually break governing rules. They always stick to the rules of the game.

• They have boundaries: children raised by strict parents have boundaries they don't cross. They also set boundaries for others not to cross.

Let's also consider some of the disadvantages of raising a child under strict conditions:

• Idealist: like I said earlier, children raised under strict conditions tend to be less realistic. They see life the way it should be rather than the way things are.

• Parents and child closeness: the children of strict parents tend to be less close to their parents. The rapport between parents and children are usually missing.

• They look broken: the children raised under strict conditions usually look broken, bittered and most of the time sad.

🙍 What do you feel if you were at the place of such childrens who have to face strictness?

What I will do if I am at the place where children face strict parenting, I would privately educate the parents on the disadvantages of being too strict with their children. I will let them know that what the children want is to be loved, no matter the cost. So parents should be able to balance between how they instill discipline and their expression of love to their children. I will let the parents know that even if you want to serve your children punishment, serve it with love. When children perceive love from their parents, they will always understand why their parents scold them whenever they do.

🙍 As a child, what do you expect from your parents regarding their behavior?

In my growing up days, my parents ( especially my mom) were not totally strict nor were they extremely flexible with us. My mom would scold us immediately whenever we went wrong. Most of the time, her facial expressions were just what we needed to know we have gone wrong and that there is a correction to be made. This style of parenting is very common among the Yorubas ( mostly found in south west Nigeria).

While growing up, I didn't get what I did not expect. I knew my parents loved us so much that they could lay their lives for us ( they demonstrated it in one or two occasions) and that's is the kind of love I believe a normal child would desire from their parents.

🙍 What are the negative effects of emotional blackmailing?

Emotional blackmailing is an immature tactic whereby someone explores someone else's emotion for manipulation. There are lots of negative or adverse effects of emotional blackmailing. Here are just few among others:

• Killer of trust: it usually kills the trust someone has in someone else. It makes it difficult for one to trust people.

• Relationship spoiler: It is a relationship spoiler which always turns love in a relationship to hatred.

• Social withdrawal: it makes the victim to be less interested in socializing and would withdraw from social activity

• Emotional guilt: it creates the feeling of being guilty, even of the crime they didn't commit.

In conclusion, I would advise parents to always express as much love they can to their children while being strict with them. A child should not have the feelings of 'my parents hate me' but rather they should believe whatever my parents do to/for me, it is done in love.