Do you find it difficult to apologise or say sorry to people??
Are you the type of person who literally does not have the phrase "I'm sorry" in your vocabulary
Many people do not really appreciate the power of apology or the peaceful effect of how saying "I'm sorry" can go a long way to heal and repair broken relationships.
We engage with people in many ways everyday, and it is almost impossible not to offend people as we move along in life.
But wait oo, can you tell me this or perhaps help me understand better, at what point does "I'm sorry" become an entitled trophy you hold to yourself and deny saying it to people you offend?
Do you understand my question, or perhaps I should go much deeper? Let me go a little deeper. Naturally, there should be a feeling of a genuine remorse attached to your emotions when you offend or hurt people. In such an instant, "I'm sorry" becomes an automatic response. But lately I have realised that people are becoming less and less remorseful about the effect of their bad deeds on others. it's like they expect the person they have hurt or going through their hurt to understand them and the pain they've caused as who they are. So understand us and do not expect me to be any different.
Let make a confession here, I booked an appointment to meet up with a friend once and I didn't show at the last minute. I cancelled out painfully on him. (He was so sure I will come). I sent him a message on WhatsApp like dude, can't make it. you can go ahead without me. He called me 2 minutes later.. herh, big head (that's what he calls me most of the time haha) you really let me down and you have made me look stupid in front of the people I had brought along with me to see you Kwame. I always pass on and share your write-ups with them and a lot of my friends around the world. And these two people particularly were excited to see you and strike some future partnership with you who knows.
And you felt you could just cancel on me at the last minute without even a prior warning.
I harshly told him that he should consider and understand me a little here because my teaching job schedules had come in the way. Even though honestly, I knew way ahead of time that I will not make it. But the fact that I had made his "serious appointment" with me look less serious and attaching no importance to him and our appointment did hurt my boy really bad. Because we had discussed this way ahead.
"You didn't even recognize the need to call and say I'm sorry K. you just scribbled some words and went offline like it was nothing.".
I don't think I'm ever going to broker this deal for you, if there should be a means to" he said.
You're my brother but I've got to be upfront and honest with you about this K. Talk to you later bro.
And sadly that was it for me folks, my opportunity just went pass me out of the window because I trivialised my homeboy's appointment with me without even acknowledging genuinely to say sorry to him.
Many of us are like that, we feel too big and too entitled to apologise to people. Some married couples feel too big to apologise to each other because they expect the other to understand without first acknowledging that I've really hurt this person irrespective of my love for him or her so I should genuinely say sorry to him or her.
For most part, good friendships have been broken because we trivialised the effect of the damage of our hurt on the other person. it's almost non existent at this moment in our thoughts because we have seen it to be normal and of no consequence since the person or the people are close to us.
We often say words like, he must understand I can't do this or that for him all the time. What's the big deal here if I failed at not doing just one thing. I've done many things for him or for her in the past many times. He or she should rather be grateful instead of expecting me to apologise. "Time no dey" (there's no time for that)
With this bad attitude do we realise that even after we come back to say I'm sorry. The feeling is like Sorry no sorry. Much like a pretence.
Ghanaian businesses and customer service representatives do not apologise for poor service delivery to their customers. Funny enough, they rather think they are doing you a favor by providing such services to you. If they only understood the power an apology holds, they will have endless flow of cash supply. But we wait to see.
Do not make an apology look like a benefit you're doing unto the other person you have hurt. Learning to sorry will not inflame your liver because it's not really that hard to do guys.
Shalom
@ Sarpong
Freelance Writer
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