There are over 7 billion people on earth including you, which have different wants and interests, different faces and characters etc. To ignore this is to ignore the world itself. You, being one of over 7 billion people must learn how to deal with the people you meet daily. Life gets boring without people around us, and we can't do most things without other people.
Your ability and knowledge in handling people-your effect on people-determines their effects on you. Just as Owen D. Young once said ''People who can put themselves in the place of other people, who can understand the working of their minds, need never worry about what the future has in store for them''. Below are some fundamental techniques to observe when handling people:
⦁ Respect People's Perspective:
Over the years, phycologists have discovered that people don't criticise themselves for anything wrong, or right. If people don't criticise themselves, why should you? By criticising, we do not cause any lasting positive change to anyone, but rather put them on the defensive (trying to explain and justify the reason they did what they did). Criticism is dangerous in that it wounds a person's precious pride, hurts their feeling of importance, and arouse grievance.
When dealing with people we should remember that we're dealing with creatures of emotions, creatures just like ourselves. Instead of criticising, we should try to understand, and look at this from their point of view. As Benjamin Franklin once said ''I will speak ill of no man and speak all the good I know of everybody''. So next time you are faced with a situation worthy of criticism. Try to understand, find out why they did what they did, forgive and react positively. That's better than criticism. Never condemn people.
⦁ Know What Every Body Likes:
Everything man does springs from his desires. You can't force a person to do something for you gracefully, unless they want to do it. When a person's desire(s) are assured to be gratified, then they will often do things gracefully for you.
John Dewey once said ''The deepest urge in human nature is the desire to be important''. This desire was the cause of civilisation itself. It makes you want to add some more of yourself (creativity) to the world, it makes you want to look good, and want to use the latest styles.
Appreciation, sincere appreciation grants people a large piece of their desire to be important. But sometimes people are often denied of this desire. Man in all his pride craves to be appreciated.
As the old couplets said ''Once I did bad and that I heard ever/twice, I did good and that I heard Never''.
In dealing with people be ready to praise every slight improvement, find out the other persons good points and give sincere, hearty appreciation and also compliment.
⦁ If You Want To Be Granted Your Desires Easily, Do This:
When dealing with people, you have to understand that you are are dealing with creatures of different interests and wants. Everything you have ever done right from childhood, was done because of what you wanted. Think of it this way when you go fishing, you don't bait the hook with your favourite dish, rather you think of the fish's favourite. Same strategy applies to humans.
If you are on a job interview, instead of telling the boss your wants, why don't you tell them about their wants and how you can grant them. Henry Ford once said ''If there is any secrets of success, it lies in the ability to get the other persons point of view and see them from that angle as well as from your own''. Arouse in the other person an eager desire to be granted their wants as well as indirectly pointing to yours.
⦁ How To Win An Argument Without Really Arguing:
Almost 98% 0f arguments ends with each opponent firmly convinced that they are right. Arguments always gets a person justifying their points. Arguments arouses a person's pride as well as their voice, and in that process he/she learns to hate you. Most sales people often argue with customers instead of viewing things from the customers angle. what will you do if you were in their shoe, answer that question sincerely, and figure out how to put the situation right.
As Benjamin Franklin use to say ''If you argue, rankle and contradict, you may achieve victory sometimes, but it will be an empty victory because you'll never get your opponents good will''.
Instead of arguing and yelling at each other, why don't you
i. Control your temper: keep calm, don't say anything harsh.
ii. Accept there is a disagreement between you.
iii. Listen first: process through your opponents words.
iv. Be honest: look for areas of agreement.
v. Thank your opponent sincerely and give both parties time to think further.
Because an argument defies reasoning between both parties, and when reasoning dies, it only causes noise and hot air.
In conclusion:
When dealing with people, we should remember that we too are humans, and remember how we felt last time someone tried to hurt our pride, then try not to hurt anyone else's.
Good luck as you apply these techniques to real life.
THE PHENOMENAL ONE