Sigmund Freud is the greatest listening master of modern times.One person who met Freud described his listening attitude: "it was so shocking that I will never forget him."
"I've never seen that kind of quality in anyone else. I've never seen such a dedicated person with such a keen insight into the soul and the ability to gaze at things.His eyes are so modest and gentle, his voice is soft and his posture is very few. "
"But his focus on me, the attitude he showed that he liked me to talk, even though I didn't speak well, was the same, which was really extraordinary.You really can't imagine what it means to be heard like this. "
If you want to know how to make others dodge you, laugh at you behind your back, or even despise you, here's a way: never listen to people say more than three sentences and talk about yourself constantly.If you know what someone is saying, don't wait for him to finish.He's not as smart as you. Why waste your time listening to his small talk?But the result of this can only be to put ourselves in a disadvantageous position.
People who only talk about themselves think of themselves.And "people who think only of themselves," says Dr. Nicola stabler, President of Columbia University, "are hopelessly uneducated.""He was uneducated," said Butler, "no matter how many years he read."
If you want to be a good communication expert, please be an obedient person.As Charles northerly said, "to be interesting, to be interested in others."Ask questions that others like to answer and encourage him to talk about himself and his achievements.
Remember that the person you are talking to is a thousand times more interested in himself, his needs and his problems.He was more interested in boils in his neck than 40 earthquakes in Africa.Don't forget that the next time you start talking to someone else.
If you want people to like what you say, remember this rule: "be a good listener.Encourage others to talk about themselves. "Once you pay attention to the meaning of listening and the skills of listening, you will become more cooperative and humorous.
If you want people to like what you say, remember this rule: "be a good listener.Encourage others to talk about themselves. "Once you pay attention to the meaning of listening and the skills of listening, you will become more cooperative and humorous.Your attentive and thoughtful listening habits will also be loved and respected by people.So, how to be a good listener?
First of all, we should have a positive spirit of participation and a strong desire to communicate.Active listening is not just with the ears, but with the whole body and mind. it is not only the absorption of sound, but also the understanding. all the responsibility of communication cannot be shirked to the speaker.In the conversation, we should always maintain a serious attitude, a dedicated spirit, a moving emotion and a posture of being absorbed.
We should also develop good listening habits. The audience should be interested in any topic and pay attention to the content of the speech.An excellent listener will strive to create a comfortable and relaxed conversation environment, listen attentively with a kind of patient expression and posture, and actively think about the main points in the conversation. he will cleverly find the basic outline of the speech, determine its arguments, understand the relationship between arguments and arguments, and can use the materials quoted by the speaker to carefully verify the accuracy of his expectations.
Don't be disgusted or dissatisfied with the speaker's speech just because his character, viewpoint, representative group or dress are incompatible with himself.Emotional feelings often lead to preconceived and opinionated problems. The audience should have a fair and impartial attitude, which is conducive to the establishment of an environment of mutual understanding and kindness.What's more, only by listening carefully to what others have said, will they have the initiative to cooperate and desire to reciprocate.
Pay attention to observe and experience the speaker's nonverbal information: the nonverbal information often reveals the speaker's inner feelings.For example, tone, volume, quality, etc.A hesitant speech may give the impression that he has a lingering fear, worry or lack of confidence.
Pay attention to the use and choice of the speaker's vocabulary: excellent listeners will also regard the speaker's language expression as a sign of subconscious attitude.For example, frequent use of "I" often shows that I have a strong self-awareness and inner uneasiness, and may even have hostile feelings towards the audience. while the less frequently used personal pronouns will show that I am not willing to reveal my true feelings.
Some people often exaggerate their feelings or evaluate people and things with qualitative words like "terrible", "terrible", "best", "stupid".A conservative person tends to use the same sentence or vocabulary repeatedly when speaking. On the contrary, flexible use of language can show the speaker's frankness and self-confidence.
Appropriate questions or interruptions, through some short interruptions and questions, to indicate that the other party is really interested in his words, or to inspire the other party, and lead to the topic you are interested in.When the other party reaches the main point, nod to show approval.
Nodding your head is actually sending a signal to let the other party know that you are listening to him. The other party will certainly take his words seriously.Of course, just nod your head when you hear the knuckles. Don't nod frequently.Nodding moderately in conversation is a kind of verbal entertainment for the other party. If you nod your head frequently, it will make the other party tired.
Listening is faster than speaking. Listeners always have time to wait in the process of listening.In these time gaps, we should reflect on the speaker's views, definitions, arguments, etc., compare the speaker's views with his own, anticipate the reasons for the views he is going to elaborate, and envisage a third point of view between himself and the speaker, etc.
I was ones a talker not a good listener.. but from what you’ve said so far, I think you are right and you’ve changed my mentality about the whole thing..
Thank you very much 🙏
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