We can't get along in life without knowing how to deal with people, because there are people everywhere. Knowing how to deal with people gives us the extra advantage in our lives, work, family, and creativity, etc.
Social/emotional intelligence is social freedom. Our financial freedom may be affected negatively without it. With social intelligence, we will seldom get hurt emotionally.
Steps To being free from emotional hurts and assaults:
⦁ Be Empathetic: Don't focus on your feelings to judge/criticise someone. Instead, you need to observe them to understand the reasons behind their actions, then you'll know how you should react. Some of their behaviours, always goes against some of our current judgements.
When we deal with people base on our emotions, we get confused. Also when we judge people by our own feelings, it has the capacity to blind us from who they really are.
Rushing to idealise/demonise people is an habit, and it can be stopped by consciously waiting to observe and understand why they behaved as such. '
'Find possible reasons behind the actions of people before you react''.
Understand people, accept them as they are and avoid being their victims or criticising them.
Place your self in the circumstances, experience, and feelings of people, try to virtualise the world from their point of view. And you'll be able to tolerate them and live peacefully.
⦁ Look Out For Personality mask: Often, most humans craft a public mask called false personality, to cover for their flaws in character. Such persons tends to get over friendly with you, then unveil their mask in moment they can harm you the most-like a Trojan horse- Or sometimes, they are just friendly with you because they need something from you, not because they like you.
In your journey to success, you must look out for people with personality masks like: Egocentric people who create a false personality of being charitable, people who praise you too much, over friendly ones, and those who joke excessively around you. They do this because they are insecure, envious, and are trying to get closer to you to harm you, or they just want to use you.
''Our love for people must exceed our need for them''.
⦁ Live And Let live: Arthur Schopenhauer once said:
''We must allow everyone the right to exist in accordance with the character he has, whatever it turns out to be: and all you should strive to do is make use of this character in such a way as its kind of nature permits, rather than to hope for any alteration in it or to condemn it offhand for what it is.
This is true maxim-live and let live- To become indignant of people's conduct is as foolish as to be angry with a stone because it rolled into your path. And with many people the wisest thing you can do, is to resolve to make use of those whom you cannot alter''.
⦁ Mute your colours and then let them shine at the right time:
In our workplaces, schools, etc. There are often overseers of correctness and standards to which members- who are usually conformists- always accept and defend without questioning. In such an environment, it is dangerous to share your ideas and thoughts. It'll be seen as rebellion by the members; even if you proof your points with logics and all wisdom known to mankind, it will only make them more defensive and want to destroy your works.
With that been said, always be diplomatic when dealing with people. Make a show of accepting those standards. When you get to a position of command, then you'll be able to express your disapproval of their standard/belief system.
⦁ Intelligence in getting people to help you:
There is a fact we must understand, and that is every human being is self centred (at least to a certain degree). So asking for help by appealing to their sense of charity, may only work on few. Instead, always ask for help with a deal where they benefits from, Or with something in return for them, and a promised percentage of what you'll achieve.
You can also offer to do or give something they need in return for there help. Let your conversation revolve around them and their interest.
⦁ Protect yourself from other people's emotional instabilities concerning promises:
Our ideas and beliefs tends to vary based on our emotions. People may change their desires and withdraw their promises. This may confuse you if you relied on them to deliver.
So, the best action to take is to detach yourself from other people's emotions; never trust or depend on someone's word/promise, always seek to achieve your goals by yourself. Depend only on yourself, and you'll not be disappointed.
You'll always win, because you rule your life.
SKY-TIME