Greetings fellow campus mates and steemians. Hope you're all doing well..
Today I woke up to a call from a junior on campus. She was stressed out of her mind due to some issues she's been facing on campus. She was asking me for advice on how to handle the assaults she's been getting over the months since school resumed.
Now I'm sure we all have in one way or the other been assaulted by someone be it a lecturer, fellow student or an administrator. This is why I thought of sharing what I told my friend this morning.
From experience, assault isn't something you can make to stop by just saying the word. You can't easily change the person who is acting on you in such manners but you can handle the effects it might eventually have on you.
In this piece, I ask 3 questions and I'll give the answers..
What is an assault??
This is a violent onset or attack with physical means (blows and weapons) or moral means (critics, insults).
This means every time someone gets violent with you or every time you are criticized or insulted without reason, you are being assaulted.
Why the need to handle assault??
Truth is, no matter how tough we think we are or how invincible we want to be. There is a weak spot in every person and every time someone pokes at it, you begin to feel vulnerable. Worse if that assault is moral or verbal, your mind takes records of the incident and the subconscious being as dutiful as it is, will always throw some flash backs at you even when you least expected.
This assault that comes as physical means, tend to produce mental effects which are negative.
Once this effects start to show up, you become subjected to whatever actions of the person bullying you.
This mental phase of assault can break you or change you.
How to handle assault??
- Donot retaliate.. We are different in our ways and thoughts. But if there's anything I've learnt over the years on campus it's that we all just wanna study, graduate and do better. Bullies will always exist and that's their call and I'd never advice you to retaliate.
This is firstly because you might have been struggling to be a good student and a better person for so long and one person or people aren't worth the change. Keep focus on your goals and see reason to move past the pain even every day. It is hard I know, but we are capable. - Study your bully... Everyone that picks at another person especially on campus, must have some reasons for doing so. It could be jealousy, envy, maybe he/she has issues and uses you as an outlet and sometimes the bullying may be as a result of he/she liking you, but wants to make a statement that proves otherwise because of past hurt they're dealing with (matters of the heart). Otherwise, some people are so selfish and just want pleasure no matter what it takes. This is especially so for sexual assault..
Studying the bully's reason could help you make peace with whatever he/she is doing to you regardless of the hurt. It could help you stand up for yourself and make the bullying stop. No one likes their secrets being leaked. This knowledge could help you go a long way in even changing that person if you're bold enough.
Narrative Therapies:
- Talk to someone... Talking could help you lift the weight of the assault of your shoulder. Talking to someone who understands your situation is even better cause you can find reasons to laugh it off and think of a place where there was no assault. Talking also is a way of helping you to understand why you can't give up cause of a stupid bully. Silence don't help.
Even if you report that person to the rightful authorities and he/she gets off your back, you will never fully understand why the person did that to you or why he chose to do it to you. - Lastly, and to me most importantly, you can write about it. Yes, this is still a form of talking (talking to oneself) but it is different. Writing is like having a conversation with yourself, a wiser you. A you who doesn't feel the same pain you do. A you who understands what you're going through even more than you do.
This you can give you whatever courage you need to stand up for yourself or move past the effects of the bully. Writing can sooth you into acceptance with depreciation. Writing could be your outlet for all your energy, good or bad. Writing can also help someone experiencing the same attacks Someday. Writing could turn your dilemma into a creative work. Put your emotions into something that even you can look back to and proudly say "I BEAT IT". No matter how tough it might seem today, every story counts and you being bullied is not an exception.
Everything happens for a reason, people get hurt everyday intensionally or not. It is our attitude toward our problems that determine the route we end up taking.
Don't hide from your problem, it will only keep you in place. Move forward and face it . Tell someone.
We all need help and I hope this piece reaches someone who needs it.
Quite information piece with uplifting words.
Thanks for sharing this with us
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