Think like a viking

No one is a total fool if he can be silent.
Thursday's are Viking quote days although I'm doing every second Thursday now and interspersing my, think like a leader, series on the alternate day. Sometimes I choose a quote randomly and sometimes based upon relevance or meaning to my life, and share some thoughts on it. These thousand year old phrases still offer value in modern society. original im src

This week's Viking quote
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No one is a total fool if he can be silent.

• The Saga of Grettir -
  Over my professional career I've found myself in the same room with a vast array of different people for various reasons: Training, conferences, seminars, briefings, social and networking events, proposal deliveries, sales pitches, and many other forums.

I've known some of those people and also none of them depending on where and when the event was but one thing is common across all of them - the fact I feel a little socially awkward and shy in environments like that. It often leads me to keep to myself and speak little but, of course, there's times when that's not possible and on those occasions, such as when public speaking, I pull on my social armour - that is, hide behind the job or task at hand and play a role - and do what's required and that which I get paid to do. Generally though, I'm rather shy in those situations.

We are all have different personalities and when we are thrust into a room together it can be interesting to observe those personalities, and the behaviours that spring forth because of them, in play when interacting with others.

One thing I've always found interesting in people-gatherings is those who feel the need to talk a big self-game, long and loudly. You know the type. They say a lot of, I and me, and tend to do most of the talking within the group. I think they get a feeling of self-satisfaction and esteem from doing so. Who knows, maybe they have a low self-esteem and need to prop it up - or maybe they're just narcissistic, arrogant, egotistical, prideful and bullish.

Either way, I think it's not the best way to proceed and, rather than adding value to themselves or others, I feel the subtract it. Braggadocio has a way of taking more than it gives.

As an example, I recall one such event where the room was filled with many of the most influential, successful and interesting people from the industry in which I worked. I was privileged to be amongst those people but I remember this one fellow who was on the table of twelve I was also on and he was...well, he was an obnoxious git.

All night the others at the table listened to him talk about himself, his achievements, opinions, stories of success and fortune and generally how amazing he was. The rest of us were polite and allowed him to continue, and tried to have our own conversations in and around the rubbish the fellow was vomiting but it wasn't a pleasant evening.

The interesting thing is that at that table were at least four incredibly successful individuals and three others that could be called exceptional operators and, unfortunately for the guy doing all the talking, he never knew it. He talked and talked, endeared himself to no one, learned nothing and neither did he have any of us fooled - We knew what he was and that he really had little to offer. It was quite sad really.

Looking at the quote this week, I see several different ways to approach it but essentially it says that a person's wisdom, knowledge, understanding and value isn't measurable by the only words they speak.

The chap above had the need to self-validate, present himself as the smartest person in the room as such, at least on the table anyway, and in the process he lost the chance to build rapport, learn from some of those at the table who knew more than he and possibly build relationships which could, in the future, pay great dividends. Interestingly, the others at the table didn't speak up to address the situation, we remained largely silent, or focused on our own conversations where possible.

Watching that fellow was cringe-worthy, but somehow morbidly fascinating at the same time...But I couldn't help but feel sorry for a man who felt so insecure within himself that he felt the need to self-promote to others just to feed his ego and feeling of worth. I'm not suggesting he should have said nothing, but remining silent some of the time and prompting others to speak and interact certainly would have been of greater value to him than saying things that had no value to others.

That's it for this week, a thousand year-old Viking quote about the benefits of listening more than you talk in certain circumstances and the value of knowing when to be silent. Our quantity of words spoken don't determine our wisdom or knowledge, our wisdom and knowledge does! We have two ears and one mouth, if we used them in that proportion in social and professional environments I think it would make for much better interactions and more value harvested.

Please feel free to disagree with my interpretation and add your own in the comments below if you would like.

Skol.
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Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised so be humble and kind
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