Let’s face it, raising children is tough, and most parents find themselves raising their voice from time to time; most parents have parenting moments which they feel like they could have approached the situation differently and fear that they may have done “damage” to their children.
If you have had such thoughts, first understand that you are not alone. As mentioned earlier, many parents reflect on themselves and try to be better. If you are worried about being a “terrible” or “ineffective” parent, consider the concept of a “good enough mother” first coined by pediatrician and psychoanalyst Dr D. W. Winnicott. Dr. Winnicott espoused that mothers generally do not want to see their child in distress and feel less than “perfect” as a mother when they see their baby being frustrated or in distress. Dr. Winnicott explained that mothers do not have to feel frustrated about their being “imperfect” as a mother as babies actually learn from frustrated situations and they grow up okay.
We can all use the concept of “being good enough” as caregivers to our children, and also in our own lives. Most people cannot be “perfect” as caregivers or in other areas of their lives, and many people tend to get stressed because they feel as imperfect. If we can remember that as babies are able to grow up fine under a “good enough mother” maybe we can learn to forgive ourselves for being seemingly “imperfect” and be less stressed out while being “good enough.”