Expectation and Disappointment 08/09/2022

Expectation and Disappointment

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When you are disappointed, it hurts. In particular if it is from a close friend or relative. Expectations, they say, hurt. That could be correct. But I believe the opposite is true. Expectations are beneficial. It's the disappointment that gets to you. It is the disappointment of expectations that is painful.

It's not just the act itself, but also the people you expected it from. Sometimes it wouldn't hurt as much if it wasn't for the person with whom you had the expectation. It would be sad, but not as depressing as it would be if it weren't for the person. It wouldn't be as painful if we didn't expect it to happen to someone we care about. Then we begin to suspect that we have been dumped. That is when the agony of disappointment sets in. It also hurts when you are disappointed in yourself. Self-pity begins to creep into our minds. Our minds are filled with feelings of guilt and shame. I believe this is one of the most difficult to overcome.

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We frequently cope with disappointment by blaming others. This is the first thing we do. 'Why did he/she do that?, Why didn't they do that?, Why didn't you do that?' 'Why didn't you do that?' This is our first line of defense. Then we blame ourselves. 'Why did I allow it to happen?' Then we reflect on what we should've, could've, and would've done. We end up with regrets, hatred, and doubts.

Why are we still expecting if disappointment hurts? Why do we continue to expect and take the risk? This is self-evident. Because we believed. Because we had faith. We felt we wouldn't be disappointed, and we enjoy the feeling of victory.

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The act of expecting is unavoidable. It's natural for people to anticipate. It's not something we deliberately avoid. We are expecting something deep within our thoughts... no matter how hard we try to convince ourselves that we are not expecting anything in return. We anticipate because we believe we are deserving. I believe you will agree with me on this.

There are some disappointments that are difficult to overcome. There are some we can dismiss. It depends on how much we expected and who we expected it from. It all depends on how deeply we believed. The expectation is made real by both disappointment and satisfaction. True, not all expectations are met with disappointment. Satisfaction, on the other hand, is a different story.

How can we avoid disappointments? We can't. It's in the dangers of expectations. We'll never know. Why would we expect anything if we knew we'd be disappointed? All we can do is try to be prepared for any outcome. And when we are caught off guard, the only thing we can do is begin the healing process. It won't be easy, but we owe it to ourselves.

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