Steem4nigeria Accelerator Contest Week 51: I Learnt to Say NO.

Hello friends.. How are you doing today? Am sure you're good.. Thank you for visiting my post and it's always my pleasure. In today's discussion, I will be sharing with you on the reasons why I learnt to say "NO" in some certain situations. Just read on;

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Do you always find it hard to say NO to people's request?

We all have our own values and unconscious beliefs on what's right and wrong, and what's important and not important, and we try to live according to these values. For someone like me, I find it difficult to say "NO" to people request because deep down me I genuinely want to help out. I can't say No to them when I fully know that am capable of granting their request. When I say no to people's request, I won't be at peace with myself because I consider the judgment of people and what they will say and think about me. Also, I will be worried because it will affects my prospects. In all, I find it hard to say "NO" to people's request when I know that am capable of rendering help in such situation.

Mention reasons why people find it difficult to say NO?

Its never nice to hear the word "NO.". It represents rejection, failure, or missing out. Therefore, many people struggle to say No because they don't want to be the reason that someone else feels rejected or missing out. So, in my point of view, here are few reasons why people find it hard to say No;

• People believe that its not nice to say no because they have the belief that you should try to be nice to other people, and its not nice to to say No when they ask for your help.

• They feel guilty afterwards. When we say no to people, we sometimes feel uncomfortable and guilty about the decision we made.

• You don't want to jeopardize your relationship. They also believe that is a risk to harm or cause problem that might actually destroy their relationship.

• They don't want to hurt their feelings. Some people say no in order not hurt or make them feel pained.

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What was that experience that taught you to say NO?

For so many years now, I didn't want to say no to people when they ask me for something when I know I have it. I used to see it as something nice and genuine, that am always available for my family and friends and willing to help. Then it became a nightmare to me especially in the last six months of my training into fashion. It came to my notice that people use me because I was too nice and can't say no. Almost everyone took me for granted and saw it as my weakness and took advantage of it.

I found myself trapped in annoying circles, doing things I never wanted to do. I have been giving out to people who needed my help, but in return when I ask for their help, I won't see any. This has happened on several occasions, but I will like to share one my experience with you. There is this friend of mine named "Grace". When we first met, she needed my help to secure a job for her, and I can't say no to her considering the fact that she was the only person her family look up to in terms of financial issues.

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I helped her secure a job at a very known reputable company that pays well. She thanked me so much and promised me a payback for what I did for her. So as time goes on, I ran out of money because I used in settling some family problems. I needed help at that moment and I thought of calling Grace for help. I called her, told her the issue at hand, but she said she didn't have the kind of money am asking for. At first, I asked for 15k, then I had to reduce it to #5000. She still insisted that she didn't any and she has spent it all.

That same week, I caught her shopping inside a mall and she bought a lot of things. I had to wait for her outside the mall. When she was done shopping, I blocked her and started to query her. She was even shocked to see me. She began to beg for my forgiveness and said that she was too greedy then to give out. I didn't have anything to say to her and I left. Since that day, Grace has taught me on how to say No to some people's request. I grant request only to people that helps me back in my own times of need, my family, and anyone my hearts chooses to.

What is your advice for those who still struggles to give NO as an answer

My advice for anyone who still finds it difficult to choose "NO" is that is not your job or duty to give others everything they request for. You can't please others and displeases yourself. You give out what you have. There is a big difference between being rude and unhelpful. When someone asks you for something, they should know that there's a possibility of saying no. Also, if you have in abundance and someone else actually needs your help, learn to give out and don't say no to them because no one knows tomorrow.

Thanks for reading.. Am sure by now that you've understood the reasons why I have learnt to say no in some cases. I humbly invite my friends @blessedbee @jasminemary @ahmneska to join this contest. Thanks for your time..!!😊