contest:"What's your opinion on DINK families?"

link

To many people, raising children and having a home with children is the best life. Many see this kind of lifestyle or family as being the best, as their home is usually filled with happy moments and laughter from kids. On the other hand, some people in the society see having and raising children as being stressful. They feel raising children will be a task and could also stop them from pursuing their careers and their dreams.

But then, we all have our choices based on what suits our desires. Most people who choose these kinds of families are mostly Westerners. A typical African (Nigerian) wants to have children as children are seen as part of their achievements in life. They want to have children that will bear their names and also bury them when they're dead.

Before I got married, I used to conceive in my heart that having children was stressful and wished I was born in a Western world where no one is questioned or judged by their decisions. One thing stopped me from such thoughts, "I am an African, a Nigerian precisely." I'll be judged and castigated as though I did something gravelly.

And so, I considered my kind of society, what they will say or think of me. And so, I just wiped out such a mindset and decided that I will have children.

Picture of myself

However, I don't see people's decision to pursue their careers or making a lot of money as a big deal. I believe that's their choice and so, they shouldn't be questioned or judged. But then, dink families usually face small challenges such as;

• Social Stigma from people in society. That is where people will be wondering if they will not have children. They'll even pray for them, (couple) as though they requested it. That reminds me of a friend of mine who decided with her husband after their marriage that they wouldn't have children immediately. According to her, people started asking her all sorts of funny questions if she has been having miscarriages or if it is that she's finding it difficult to conceive and all sorts of questions. But she said she would smile and walk away. That's how people will be questioning dink families, and then trying to make it look as if they committed a crime.

• The second one is family pressure: Like in a typical African, especially (in Igbo society, the parents of the groom will question if the man is alright and whether he is impotent or if the wife is barren. To crown it all, the kinsmen, as they are called, may arrange a wife for the husband thinking he can't bear children.

link

• Another aspect is that a dink family will really miss out on parenting. They won't understand the inner joy it feels to have children. They won't understand parenting no matter how much you explain to them.

• Dink families are usually not accorded so much respect. They're usually not regarded despite the fact that they have money. People feel that they don't know the value of children and so, they should just be on their own. They are usually not allowed to touch, play, carry or discipline other people's children.

Being a dink is not usually a problem but the society's judgement is.

I'm inviting
@deelyt
@realitytrend
@impersonal

#hive-150487