Finally I realized that what heals our wounds is not forgetting, but acceptance. Accept that God will always give the best for our lives. Accept that there are many things that we cannot control in our lives, things that are absolutely under God's control, and we can only trust and submit to His decrees.
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I desperately tried to forgive myself, to rediscover the best version of myself. At one point, I understood why we have to forgive, whether forgive ourselves or others. Forgiveness will not change our past, but forgiveness will clear up our future.