Emergency Neighborhood Broadcast (12/26/2019)

in hive-154988 •  5 years ago  (edited)

Attention Neighbors - This is an emergency broadcast from your Neighborhood Watch Association!!!

We received many reports of an unidentified aerial phenomenon that was spotted flying over the houses in our idyllic Neighborhood on the night of Christmas Eve. Radar and infrared cameras confirmed the existence of this UAP.

Now, while strange objects hovering over our homes are nothing new to us, this one began landing on various houses in our Hood. A large being was spotted invading our homes via access through open chimneys.

Clearly this was a concern for public safety, so we authorized the use of surface-to-air ordnance to destroy the menace.

You can go back to feeling safe and assured that the Neighborhood Watch Association will protect our perfect gated community from all potentially perilous intrusion.

We're not sure if the destruction of this Neighborhood menace is what caused The Hood to glitch out. All we know is lumps of coal has been raining from the sky for the last day, which is not during an authorized black-hail event. The weather modification system may have been hacked by this large intruder.

Work is being done to stop this, but in the meantime, don't forget your umbrellas!

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Report Finding unauthorized deer poop on my roof, got the makings of a sanitary issue. Something has to be done about this blatant bacterial warfare stuff, must be the 'Russians' 🤔🕴

We will call in a sanitation team to burn down your house right away.