Of course on this occasion I will share. I have had an experience, I mean learning from my experience story who have been married especially how, couples who want to live a married life, but without losing their careers/jobs.
Why is it that many people are initially afraid of getting married? Usually there are several classic reasons, especially men, they are afraid of getting married because, many say, I am still too young, or I am not ready yet, afraid of losing freedom. Well, usually this is also a dilemma, which is faced by men.
Or I am worried, I can no longer be friends freely with the opposite sex, because I am afraid my partner is jealous and so on. Or later afraid, can no longer have freedom anywhere, because marriage is the same as attachment, it is the same as losing freedom, and so on.
There are many couples who have such fears. Well, I also have the same feeling, but I just want to share, from the life experiences of friends, which they told me. Maybe you are currently dating, or you have a partner who is currently together with you, no matter how far your relationship is, it all comes back to you. But I just want to share, that actually if you want to have a good career, we must have a supportive partner.
Because without a supportive partner, maybe our career is less than perfect. So we have to reflect on this, and think about it. Many people think,
"Oh, it's better to get married first, because by getting married, automatically your career will be built".
I often hear words like that, it's better to get married first, the important thing is to have a partner first, so that one day, your path and career will definitely form by itself. Words like this are not wrong. But you have to know one sentence, that something you do with preparation will have better results, compared to without preparation. I believe that everything that is prepared, the results are much better, compared to without preparation I mean.
For example, if you want to take an exam today, UNAS for example (National Examination). You take the exam without studying, without preparation, the results will definitely not be better, than if you prepare well. Likewise, if you want to go out of town, it is much better if you prepare everything thoroughly, compared to you going without preparation. Later when you arrive out of town, you are confused, you missed this, missed that, lacked this, lacked that, and so on.
Likewise with the world of marriage, I believe that if marriage is without preparation, the results will definitely be much more messy, compared to those who have preparation. Well, for example, I saw here in 2020, there was a case that was quite surprising, namely many married couples from 2015 to 2020 divorce cases increased by 10% each year, Wow! This is quite a tragic number in my opinion.
Because in the Supreme Court, or the high court section, in 2020 alone, there were 285,184 divorce cases recorded. Can you imagine, this is a number of hundreds of thousands in Indonesia, this is a very large number, can you imagine that in Indonesia there are 250 million people, almost 0.1% of the couples are divorced. If we divide the adult age into two, more than 100 million people, then divide it into two again, men and women, we can imagine this number is quite tragic.
That does not include those who are widowed, or widowed, or those who are still unmarried, meaning this number, this number is quite high. And it turns out that the cause is sought, there are 3 biggest causes:
The first, They are not harmonious with each other, they no longer find compatibility.
The second, They are a couple, they are always irresponsible with their lives.
The third is the problem of the economy.
Well, what I want to discuss is the conclusion of these three. Almost most of these causes are because their marriage is not well prepared.
Well, therefore Steemian friends, I believe today, is it better to get married first, or build a career first?
I have an answer that I think is yes, because building a career is also important, getting married is also important.
I have an answer, one meeting point, for example there is a question, "If you get married, are you ready"? Of course the number ready, or not, is a relative number. Is it age 20, age 25, age 30, age 40, not ready either. Because many couples are also age 40 not ready either, but there are people who say, age 20 is ready.
Well, the word ready is relative, but I want to give you one tip, don't get married for these 4 reasons.
The first is don't get married because you are pressured. Are you pressured by your partner, pressured by your family, don't!
Because marriage should not have any element of pressure, marriage must be with peace, we prepare marriage wisely. Because I adhere to one principle, marriage is only once. I do not adhere to the principle that marriage can be done many times.
The second, don't get married because of pressure from any party. Maybe getting married because of doing something wrong, or because of economic pressure, or whatever reason. Making marriage full of pressure.
The third is not getting married because of emotional factors (emotions), because for example I have seen your friends getting married, you want to get married, because you see their age, you want to get married. Well, that's an emotional factor, that's not good, or getting married because you're hurt. You see your friends making fun of you being a real bachelor, then you tell the friend who made fun of you. Okay, I'll prove it one day when I get married, that's also not good, it's because of emotional factors.
The fourth, don't get married without preparation. Well, I personally, used to aspire to get married at the age of 28, although that didn't come true, and I wanted to get married without my parents' or family's expenses. When I got married, my future wife and I had prepared a private house, not an inheritance from my parents. I wanted to prepare my own wedding party when I got married. Using my own money, not from my parents, after all my parents couldn't afford it anyway. I wanted to build my own family, me and my future wife.
And I want to ask you, how many young couples who want to get married prepare for things like I said earlier? Yes, at least what I told you can be an inspiration for you.
My dream that I still continue to care for and keep well, is that I marry the woman I love and later when I marry the woman I love I have to make sure that, today I marry someone else's child, I have to make sure that, I have to be able to support her physically and mentally.
So when I get married later, I will prepare all the parties myself, I have prepared the house, not inherited from my parents, from my own hard work, and that is very enjoyable, of course the satisfaction is very different, if we get married without being funded by our parents. Because for me, the family that I build, with my future wife is, my personal family, there should be no pressure, or pressure from any party.
You all don't have to be like me, a good partner is certainly a partner who is ready to support your career, and always faithfully accompany us, in difficult and happy times. That's all my post for this happy occasion, hopefully useful.
Greetings always compact.
By @midiagam