It's been two years now since I lost my best friend. Emdee was the name he was called. A cheerful, jovial but egotistic fellow when I first met him. He was more or less a decade older than me. Our friendship started in a way that was too casual. He was the last child of his mother, and the closest as well. Her mom owns a grocery shop where he served as a sales partner. It was at that shop where I used to go get groceries. Emdee was a talker, he loved gists especially philosophical topics. He loved reasoning and logic—my kind of thing. It was on that basis we became friends.
I was writing my final exams in secondary school at the time. Emdee used to tell me I was a bright student and would excel. He himself had been through secondary school some years before. Our friendship grew and the bond became strong. Emdee was somewhat an outlaw. He didn't really believe in church nor belong to one. However, he joined my church willingly and got baptized. That was when I knew he really loved me.
We shared a lot in common. We were like twins. Anywhere I went, he wanted to come. He was so interested in me despite being older than I am, Emdee was willing to learn anything from me. People saw him as an arrogant, spoiled, mommy's boy (and he was) but I saw a man who needed a friend. I chose to be that friend, and I indeed was.
He was my favorite person. He helped me a lot. I come from a complicated family background and the odds weren't in anyone's favor. I wanted to go to a higher institution but who was going to pay my fees? My friend kept encouraging me to believe. Somehow I was able to write the entrance examination but I was reluctant to go check my name on the admission list. Emdee went on my behalf. It was he who announced it to everyone in church. “My friend is going to university!”
At some point, we were separated. The economy of the country started nosediving. Many businesses were affected. Things weren't going well for many, including Emdee and his mom. He later moved out of town to seek greener opportunities. For some time I didn't hear from him. His lines were not going through. But I trusted he was fine. However, things were not the same again.
He gave me an invite for his child dedication in December 2022. I went and we celebrated. Little did I know that that would be the last time we went merry. The following year, his health started deteriorating. I met him one day on my way back from church. He told me he wanted to go for a checkup. I accompanied him. A week later I called to inquire about the test result. The news hit me so hard— he was diabetic!
Everything happened so fast. He reduced in body weight so badly that I couldn't recognize him when I saw him again a few months later. He wanted to see me. I had to make time for him. He told me a lot, and gave me some counsel about life.
“So this is how it's going to end, Uko?” He said.“What did you say life was like again?”
“Life is like a tale. Everyone tells it but no one really knows the facts.” I answered.
”If you do not see me again, just know that I tried. You are a good friend. Life just has a way of messing things up, don't you think?” He said in a sad and shaky tone. ”Do you still remember our plans?”
”Like yesterday, yes.”
”Good. Carry on, friend. Continue to be the man I know you are. Continue to be the difference.” He said, trying so hard to conceal his sorrow.
”Bro, don't make me cry. This is not how we planned it…” I said, almost bursting into tears. His words were penetrating.
”Don't miss me.” He said, and we both laughed.
We had to. It was really painful for both of us that we would be saying our goodbyes in such a bereaved way.
Emdee was buried in August 2023, but I didn't attend the funeral because his family didn't disclose the venue. Besides, I wouldn't have made it either because I had a critical job I was to deliver.
I miss him. I am not the type that easily makes friends. Emdee didn't bore nor wear me out. I tried to make friends a couple of times but none went well. Apart from my older brother, I haven't really been close to someone that much. But I find the company of children more comforting.