Unconscious - My Entry to Contest - "What does TODAY (July 30, 2020) Mean to ME? - 3.08"

From one moment to the next the spirit left me.
The good one, together with the good vibes. It's the moment I ask myself how to go on. Is this what I want for me? Hanging around, wasting my time by doing what I don't like. Who do I benefit if it isn't me, if it is no longer me who feels enthusiastic about the things I do? I quit jobs because of the same feeling, the feeling of losing myself. It's clear, it should be clear I can't always do what I like. Not because of a lack of time or the responsibilities I have but because of my lack of everything. Energy to start with. I wish I could recharge myself as easily as the old cell phone but I can't. Even after a night rest, I am not charged for 15%. I guess my battery is nearly dead and there's nothing for sale I can replace it with.
I gave up on cooking weeks ago to save energy and while the clock ticks I continue posting stuff (cps) for the children to leave a bit behind of me. The person they might easily forget together with all the other memories I tried to create during the past years we had.
While laying on my bed I hear them laughing out loud, the joy scatter around. It's not with me but what counts is they are happy."

This was what I wrote, how I felt and what today means to me. At times there's nothing else you can do as just being you.

The cited part is posted on read cash first.

This is my entry to What does TODAY Mean to YOU? 3.08 hosted by @freedomshift.

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