To those with Christmas drama or trauma. How about a Holidate?
You might know them those yearly new Christmas films. Most of them aren't spectacular and they use the same concept. Holidate on the other hand isn't a Christmas film for real although it starts with Christmas dinner.
The most ridiculous Christmas -actually two- I ever saw. The party is complete with tasteless decorated houses, lights a hooker would be happy with, pushing family, ugly sweaters, lousy cheap presents, burned dinners and a table for singles or a children's table.
You might laugh about it but the sad thing is these people painted, these hilarious scenes happen for real. There must be something seriously wrong if you don't share the Christmas dining table with your children, the entire family.
So what I feel is pity, pity and the lack of understanding why people, singles, let treat themselves like shit by their own family because that's what we see happen. That's what I, a person living in a sober country where sharing time with family and having fun counts more than who has the biggest reindeer, wastes the most electricity during the darkest days of the year -indeed that's what this celebration originally is about bringing light in the darkness- and how to make your own family feel miserable and humiliate the singles.
Let me tell you if it comes to singles, these happy people might be today's winners and with today I mean epidemic today. The present we live in and where people are forced to celebrate with distance or preferable skip the entire party.
Believe me singles can tell you it's not about being miserable if you are alone if they spend Christmas alone. Singles can have fun alone, with strangers and with family and friends. Interesting is to watch how the brain of people works. We see a single with family or other people and these people say you are alone. Alone? The single isn't alone but surrounded by people! Family that does everything to make that relative of them feel unhappy.
The miserable starts with the family. The bad mood given to Sloane is because of her family. That family that should be supportive, love them instead of giving cheap pyjamas at least 4 sizes too big.
Holidate starts with two people who both have -again- the worst Christmas. One because of her family and the other because of a person he met three days ago. It's hard to believe, I know but people with low self-esteem do the craziest things to be accepted even if Christmas is the most terrible time of the year and only takes two, three days at most. You should think it's possible to survive these days. We talk out of two days out of 365 if not 366 and a bit of courage. The courage to do it differently this time. The courage to speak yourself out and tell your family you have no time for them.
After the bad days -Christmas- are over Sloane and Jackson meet at the return counter of a store to collect the money for their terrible Christmas gift. Sloane's aunt Susan just explained the benefits of a holidate which is enough to make it the subject of a discussion. A holidate, one person for all holidays sounds like a great concept to Jackson and if you think about it it is and might work for you too. All the pluses Jackson lists are true. A holidate is the perfect date if your family expects you to show up with someone if you want to get rid of the stress, have fun and want to be taken seriously.
Valentine's Day is the next time the two meet. This time Jackson saves Sloane who's at the candy store badly dressed and bumps into her ex with a new girlfriend. Valentine's Day ends in the car eating chocolates and having fun. No matter how bad Sloane feels about her ex having someone new she has fun with Jackson and can do with him what she can't do with her family. She can be herself, have fun, wear what she likes and say what's on her mind. Saying what's on your mind, how you see the world, think about other people is gold. How many people can open up for real? Most can't especially not among family and friends. The fear to be rejected, to being labelled as a loser is more than most people can bear. It eats the mass not to be accepted just like it eats sheep to be kicked out of the cattle but is it really that bad to spend some good time with you or someone who does accept you the way you are?
It seems to work for Jackson and Sloane. They meet automatically during the holidays and stick together. The fact Sloane mom tries to find her daughter date and says Jackson wastes her daughter's time is ignored by both. The holidate-relation works because they want it to work. It works because they follow three simple rules and one is they don't judge each other. They meet to make their own life and the forced upon their throat celebrations easier, to have fun. How many of you can say that? How many people enjoy holidays without the stress of what others might think -about your looks, the way you are dressed, where you live, the presents, the food, your lifestyle and so on-.
After Valentine's Day, there's Eastern, July the 4th and of course Halloween, Thanksgiving -all days which aren't celebrated where I live so no stress- and there's where it goes wrong. Wrong in the way both discover they want more than just a holidate but how to make that clear if the signals are unclear and both take advice from people who are insecure themselves? Jackson's best friend isn't an example of a person with self-esteem and a steady, good relationship. Sloane sister isn't in a happy relationship and the aunt sticks to the rule of a new date for each holiday nevertheless miracles happen and only if we give it a chance. You have to know yourself, understand that relationships are scary and rarely what you had in mind. No one is perfect and that starts with us. Accept you are not perfect and there's no need to. An interesting tip given was: always date a level lower. Think about it. If you date a level lower your date dates a level higher or?
Of course, this tip is about satisfaction, about an open eye for what's important. That girl might not look like love at first sight but she can grow into one, be that date you would love to have around 24/7 because she's one of the guys and that man with the strange accent doesn't feel the need to abuse you, he accepts you the way you are.
The Halloween party ends early because of a sister who hands over the wrong pills. This is the moment where vulnerability and loyalty are shown and the bond between the holidates is clear. That bond both don't know how to deal with, how to express their true feelings after the sister shows up because she kissed a Panther.
While Sloane tells aunt Susan in the hospital to say something to the doctor she dumped it takes a bit longer for her to do the same in the mall to Jackson. Isn't it interesting how we recognize the right thing to do if it comes to others but not us?
Of course, Holidate has a happy end/although it's not a romance at the first place. We see a happy couple in photos of their trips. They enjoy each other and life. I suggest you do the same if you feel you miss out.
While watching this film I realized the lack of celebrations people have today. Those parties left -wedding and birthdays included- give stress. We no longer search for eggs with Eastern. We let the tree and decoration be, we no longer pamper ourselves and are afraid to say the truth. We no longer share cabs, reach out to someone. Other people are dangerous to us and it won't get any better if we keep that social distance because of a virus. We all get sick one day and perhaps it's time to ask yourself what has changed since your childhood? Did your life improve? Was it what you expected from growing up? Do people accept you for who you are? We all die and if you ask me having fun is more important than anything else. People hardly laugh, they don't dare to show who they are. Do you?
Soon you might be restricted on who you meet, are allowed to visit or who can visit you. Better be prepared if a single life, being home alone is not your way of living. Time to find your roommate, buddy, holi or weekend date if you like. Someone who supports you, who you can support but above all can have fun with. Who knows this person you haven't met yet is good enough to undergo chemo with as Sloane says to Jackson.
Film: Holidate - Netflix
Year: October 28, 2020
Sloane: Emma Roberts
Jackson: Luke Bracey
Aunt Susan: Kristin Chenoweth
Director: John Whitesell
Production: Wonderland Sound and Vision
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