Introduction
Hello Steemians, hope you all are doing well, I'm happy to be here once again to share my story with you all. Before I start my story, I will like to appreciate the kind of family I came out from especially my nuclear family, they deserve all the best things in life. I grew up from a family that render help to others and doesn't receive help from other family members. My dad, whenever he was in position of helping out, he tries his best to render such help. I could remember when I wanted to go for my IT program. I decided to do it at Abuja and I told my parents about it and my dad blurted refused me going over there. I proposed to stay with one of my cousin who is already married.
I asked my dad why won't he allow me, he asked me to sit down and shared some experience with me. My dad told me he trained my cousin all through his university days and wanted to sponsor him throughout his master's degree at FUTO but my cousin abandon the program and didn't further it. He told me even up till now, my cousin have never called him on phone to even check how he is doing. That was how my fantasy to Abuja city ended I was stucked at home to do my I.T program here.
Have you been helped by your extended family members
A big no, not even for once. The once that tried to help me out, I saw shege staying with her. My nuclear family render much help than we receive and are even ignored and not even thankful by those that receive such helping hands from us. They say givers never lack, but these days it seems like givers they suffer pass.
How did your extended family members help or refused to help you
If you want to help someone, do it with your whole heart without having anything in mind or receiving any reward from it. When I was in year one, due to the strike issues we had then, I couldn't pay for accommodation and then it was seriously taskfull. I had a cousin sister who was in finals then, so my parents asked me to stay with her for that session, by next session my accommodation will be settled.
I was happy staying with her, because we weren't even close for once. She happened to know that I even exist when she got admission in school, that was when she knew my name and we spoke lengthly, though she stayed in my family house within those period she got admission and then I was in boarding school, so we spoke once in a while whenever I came back from school before she got settled and moved out.
Staying with her within those period was taskful, I was happy because I was going to know her more and we could be close and I will take her as my senior sister. Within the period of staying with her, as I said earlier she was in final year and I was in year one. Now these are two taskful period of staying in school, year one and final year. I was trying my best to finish up my clearance, lecture and at the same time exams which was around the corner. Now our issues started when I turn to be a slave to her, whenever I come back from school she will tell me what to cook and I will do that right away, most times I will be the one to buy the foodstuffs with my money, cook and when she comes back and eat I will receive all kinds of insult from her. A day came when she came back, there was no food, I was sleeping then she woke me up, asked me to use the money I have, buy spaghetti, cook it for us to use for dinner. I checked the money I have, it was already budgeted for something else, so I told her about it, she ignored me, I continued my sleep, she came again and started shouting at me that why haven't I bought what she asked me to buy. I told her the money I have was for something else and I don't have any spare money to buy the food item she asked me to buy. That was how we didn't eat that night, the next morning she travelled and didn't mention where she was going to. When she came back, I went to welcome her, she ignored me and walked away, she stopped talking to me, she treated me as if I never existed and she asked me never to use any of her things again.
What was your challenge then
My challenge then was accommodation but I was treated like a stranger. The whole senero, I never mentioned then to my parents because I know they won't believe me, but when her dad was seriously sick, which is my uncle, he came to stay with us and my dad was the one taking care of him though he had two wives and 7 children. My senior brother was the one bathing him everyday, he made sure he was okay and even his weekly dialysis was funded by my Dad and at the same time we tried to talk with him for him not to go into depression because of his sickness. It was when he left our house and stayed with his wife in the village for 3weeks he died ( may his soul rest in peace, Amen).
Because of how you were treated by an extended family member,how do you see them
I don't hold any grudges against anybody, though I settle my difference with her but then her comments about me made me to keep my distance away from her. Everybody is just on there own trying to bring out the best in themselves. I wished her all the best in all her endeavors.
Do you think you can survive without the assistance of extended family members
I and my family have been surviving and pushing through in all situations. Even at the verge of other bad experience, they still try there best to help out in any little way they could.
Conclusion
Render help to people in any little way you could even though it's not appreciated, never cease to stop rendering help to humanity.
Thank you for reading.
Thank you for your time.
It's always a kind of heartbreaking when and extended family fail to render help. For this current world, you have to strive for your good. Remember someone who fails to help you does not sin, it's a personal decision and not really a responsibility anymore
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Yea it's very annoying. And the worst part is that the keep wishing you bad. I can remember what she said to me after we settled our difference. I just had to be careful with her
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Helping someone with your heart is better then doing it to collect something from the person, because one day every body will surely need help.
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Everybody will surely need help, it seems like stranger help out more than friends. It just depends on your heart.
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Chaii,one day you shall receive help from then dear.
You are really funny dear,giver never lack but today they suffer.
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I guess you have a nice kind hearted and loyal family and this the best thing have in this world have a nice #4Times7
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I'm proud to have such family, we experience our own bad times but our funny personality makes us pass through all situation. My parents are full of wisdom, strict and at the same time very funny.
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Thank you for your support.
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I love the fact that there was an opportunity to show her love and care and you showed a love because it is not easy to allow someone who treated you that bad to come closer to you talkless of helping out, you did well and your family are great.
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This story is simply touching. I really feel sad the way your sister you came to squat with treated you, and indeed other family members. I had similar experience too. But one thing you have to learn is to re-write history. You want do good to your brothers/sisters kids so you be a good aunt you have expected from others. Keep on doing good.
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Swears, givers are actually the ones who now beg to survive, these days all we have to do is keep being good toward all while we expect a positive reward from heaven and not man
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Yes sure, most bad situation that people pass through may make them to change their mindset.
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You have analysed your story in a straight way but we should not even expect from our extended family.
Thanks for sharing.
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My sister, to be sincere help dont always come from extended families, if you depend on them, hmm, you are planning to crash, unless generous ones but they are few.
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Is a pity that someone you call your family member cant help when need arise. But i thank God for always providing for his children. Am happy to hear that you can survive without anyone. Keep it up.
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Very true...we shouldn't stop assisting cos we weren't noticed at our first gifting. We shouldn't give for people to praise us instead give solely because you want to help.
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Your story is so touching but I'm glad that you have wonderful family members who always have your back.
I agree with this. What goes around comes around, if you render help to someone, help will always find its way to you.
Great post.
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Extended Family strengthens family bond but nowadays in some communities it is falling out of use. Something should be done about it.
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Here you truly from caring family right on nuclear basis , wondering how you Dad gets so diff from others. It seems your extended family members aren't too care and appreciative for kind gesture rendered to them. However you did get passed those days to lead your own lifestyle. Thank.
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