“I try to let it go but some how it seems like there's not an end to the feeling”.
If you're wondering what this is all about, here's the story.
Here was a guy, a little above average in height, fair in complexion, exquisite smile with yellowy teeths(😉).
For him, growing up with such a feeling of emotion has been anything but exciting. He's had quite a number of friends, most of which have been females, but no strings of intimacy attached. Yeah, as unreal as it may seem. Kind of gets along better with them.
Then there's the downslide. His very first crush from school. A light skinned girl of average height. Same class as he. He finds a way to bottle his emotions with such a tight lid you could hardly perceive there's any attraction when they cross paths.
It gets worse though. He's sort of an anti-social but not an introvert. He's hardly able to strike or hold up a conversation, and so he's kind of shy to engage her when he's got the chance. He stays determined, regardless. Purposes in his heart to engage her in the future when they're both done with high school.
On multiple occasions, he's had dreams about her with so much to enjoy in their moments together. But not a single thought of relating his experience with her. It's his little secret.
She's such a beauty to glare at, with a touch of brilliance to admire amongst her equals in class. She's very approaching and polite.
He's sure she's the one he wants to share a home with.
But lo, after such a long wait, she starts to act unusual. He notices she plays too often and too close with a guy he doesn't so much admire for his rugged lifestyle.
He's tried to ignore, and be positive in thoughts, but her displays of friendship are all too normal, they provoke discomfort.
She has no idea of his plight of emotion, and so he can't express his displeasure. AfterAfter a long wait, someone's digging to his treasure. He's tempted to react but he's not very sure of the outcome.
And finally, as difficult as it felt, he decides to let it go. He erases her picture from his heart and learned to adapt.
Only a short time after, he gets attracted to someone he seemed not to have noticed all the while he's been committed to his emotion for his first crush. She's a little taller with a brown colored skin, and pretty charming eyes.
She speaks so softly, and quite enchanting. He's quick to succumb.
He trails her with his eyes, but no facial signs. And like his first crush, he sees her in his dreams. Composed a lovely song about her from a TV program he watched every evening.
She notice he gets close but only take him for a friend.
And as short as it came, it's also short-lived. He hears he talk about a guy that she's into from home. She details her stories with a show of emotion that he breaks down within in despair.
He feels it's unfair to get her to like him more than just a friend when she's had her interest already on someone who is not him.
As hard as it felt, he decides to let it go, but this time around, not without a word.
On his final graduation from high school, he gifts her a hand-bead he made himself. Wrote on the package a bold statement, telling her he loves her, but never anticipated a response.
He erases her picture from his heart and learned to adapt.
Continues...