S16w3: Raising boys and girls... or children?

Once I read that in the old days pink was for boys
I wonder when it changed into girls
Good we go back to how it once was
If we do so nothing will be lost

What is meant by raising?

What are the values and norms we want to teach our children or are we only saying yes or_ no_ and there is nothing more to it? I find it hard to believe the average parent thinks deeply before deciding to have children. We say we want them some of us don't and are forced to.
Once pregnant we are happy or feel depressed. If childless against our will it frequently doesn't look rosy between couples. The woman is blamed, while it could just as well be the man.
Children: one person prefers a girl, another a boy, the majority says "It doesn't matter as long as it's healthy" because it is the right thing to say.
In many cultures, daughters are considered seen nuisance and without a son, the successor or a father might not feel complete. It is interesting they say in the Netherlands, sons are most close to their mothers and not so much to their fathers. Father is sometimes still the role model, but much more often not since parents worldwide are too busy.

So many couples, so many different families and within every family the children can differ from the parents. No matter how much parents want it or how well they raise their children one of them can turn into the bad apple in the basket. It's the child that might look or act differently or have different interests. It's enough to not get along with the rest of the family. Not every child can fulfil the dreams of its parent. Is this bad? I don't think so and why should I? After all, the child I brought into the world is ultimately on its own. I can't always be there, I wouldn't want to (I'm not a meddling mother or mother-in-law) and the most important thing for me is that my children feel as happy as possible.

In our home everyone is equal.
This means that every child has their responsibilities and a voice, there is no difference between the boy and the girl. Men can perfectly take care and certainly, it's a myth to believe it is something all girls love too. I never dreamed of washing my husband's dirty underwear, cleaning up the mess he leaves in the bathroom, or doing his bidding. Where two work, two do the household chores. This was also the case in my youth.
My father thoroughly cleaned the bathroom and kitchen on the weekends, did the garden, washed the car, did the shopping and cleaned out the garage (there were quite a few of his tools in here). By the way, my father was not the breadwinner but my mother. She worked her butt off so that my father could study. Who took care of the house and offspring? Not my father, but a housekeeper, a maid or a nanny.

My grandfather wanted his daughters not to be dependent on a man. He had foresight about the future. Both his daughters studied. The eldest was spoiled to bits and a "typical" girl including all the drama and posturing, the other girl was independent and definitely knew how to use a hammer.

_{Source Photo}

I raised 5 children of my own who were treated equally, even those who preferred to be served by the other had to roll up their sleeves. They took part in household chores from a young age (two-year-olds are more than happy to help) and no matter what their birthday wish was, they received it from me if I could afford it. Now all my children do crafts, paint and draw, so that is the common denominator, just like books (but different interests). Within our family creativity is what bonds us. If it came to gifts in their childhood, skateboards and cars were requested but never a Barbie.

Developing typical girlish or boyish behaviour, whatever that may be, depends in my opinion also on the family a child is raised by. As a parent, we frequently copy the way we were raised. In the children's program Sesame Street, five year old was asked: what is the difference between a boy and a girl? The child, a girl with short hair, by the way, replied: Girls have long and boys have short hair.
Once we had a similar situation in the store. A six to eight-year-old girl with short hair and trousers said my son was a girl. I asked why. Her answer: he has long hair. And your father, I asked, is he a girl too, he has long hair. She didn't know what to answer and the father looked at me ashamed.

Due to compulsory education, girls and boys go to the same school.
I don't know whether they are treated completely equally. The idea that girls cannot do math and boys have difficulty reading is still believed and worse is that both follow the same lessons. My only explanation is that teachers do not find it necessary to let practice boys more if it comes to reading and invest time in explaining to girls how to think.
I do believe the hemispheres of the brain work differently between the sexes, but also that everything can be learned if the opportunity is given and time is invested.

As said before, I want my children to be happy and that is only possible if they are allowed to be themselves and do what they want most and I am committed to that. Fortunately, the circumstances and home situation where my children grew up are completely different from the strict regime under which I suffered. My parents never asked me what I wanted it was impossible to talk with them.

The annual career fairs here are disappointing and only reinforce the difference between girls and boys. It is a conservative, old-fashioned group of people who teach children the professions that according to them are specific for a one gender only. Teachers also make a distinction and when I occasionally hear the nonsense being talked about, I wonder whether we are living in 2024 or 1724. Please let us accept each other the way we are even if it's not our way.
Only if a child develops as many skills as possible it's able to figure out who s/he is and which lifestyle and profession makes happy.

Shouldn't we all be used to women in trousers and men in dresses, kimonos, caftans, kilts using makeup and jewellery by now? It's heartbreaking how many (young) adults struggle with their identity, let's not do this to our children. As a parent, we should give them the room to explore, discover who they are in the safe environment of their home.
And please, keep in mind that the world is not all about Western values of how we should be and behave. For each one of us counts: I you don't like what you see, look in a different direction. If you ask me that can't be too difficult.

Header: Canva
Photo: pixabay.com
14-3-2024
I am a mobile phone user only

Source Photo

@ibesso @aminasafdar @blessedlife @zainnyferdhoy @tyaaaa

#steemexclusive #club75 #steemladies-s16w3 #holland #parenting #kittywu #opinion