SEC-S13/W4| "The Role of the Caregiver ♥️ "

We all find ourselves in moments of vulnerability, needing care and understanding.

The truth is, suffering is inevitable. Sometimes we are unable to change someone's circumstance, but the simple act of being present someone's suffering is profound, powerful and life changing. It fosters deeper human connection, a spark allowing for openness and dialogue that normally would never transpire. It's this shared human experience that makes caregiving incredibly valuable. It's in these moments of vulnerability that we find true connection, trust and deeper relationship than possible.

In my personal experience, caregiving can be both mentally and physically exhausting. Working in Assisted Livings, you can be responsible to physically transfer human beings back and forth multiple times a day. This can be like doing many sets of deadlifts or squats, every day, for 8 or 16 hours at a time. In most states, average caregivers in an assisted living will be responsible for anywhere between 6 and 12 residents at a time. With staffing issues, lazy coworkers, quality caregivers often become responsible for more than their fair share and burden. The physical exhaustion and ironic lack of care from peers can lead to burnout and mental health issues.

Working in Memory Care and Dementia units can be lighthearted and jovial. It isn't always the dark, sad despair that one would expect. Unfortunately, there are tough dies. Residents pass away, sometimes tragically, sometimes expected. I truly wish someone had taught me and warned me about vicarious trauma and the PTSD that can be developed through caregiving.
Truthfully, when you have a deep connection and truly care for those around you, it is traumatizing to witness death again and again and again, often on a daily basis. It takes careful reflection, contemplation and honesty with oneself to sort through the feelings. (It gave me a small existential crisis at times)

Due to these burdens, I do not believe anyone should be caregiving alone. Truly, don't we all wish to exist in a world where we all care unduly for one another with true grace and compassion? I believe that having individuals around, that can help carry these burdens is important to prevent burnout.

No matter how compassionate you are, burnout, physical pain, and mental health from pure exhaustion can compromise even the greatest level of care. I found that my patience, the quality of my care, and the connection with my peers around me was substantially worse during periods we were short staffed.

Eventually I progressed into management and was responsible for supervising over 75+ caregivers. This was a whole new set of challenges, but I learned that "Submission in Leadership" and teamwork was absolutely critical to supporting the care of our 80 residents. Ever changed a brief while wearing a suit and tie? I have.

Contrasting working in large facilities, in my personal life I've witnessed my Spouses mom take care of an 87 year old woman and her disable 50 year old son in their home. These two individuals that require care are very needy, although, very sweet, polite and kind. Witnessing the care over years, I can see the burnout, and how the care has changed. Please note, her mom is a perfectionist and their care is amazing. She's a phenomenal caregiver, but at times, does not have as much patience for the repetitive dementia questions or behaviors that come with a developmentally disabled individual.

I believe that the greatest qualities a caregiver can have:
Love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and most importantly self-control.

If you are presently a caregiver, experiencing challenges, burdens, or even trauma:

Be PROACTIVE, not Reactive.

Creating activities, engaging in conversations and finding simply what makes everyone "Tick" is the key!
There is a spark of unique curiosity within every human being, there lies treasure that even the darkest shadows, and grumpy old man can't hide! Kindness and grace continually persist and prevail throughout challenges.
Find your curiosity, take that spark and connect genuinely, compassionately with those around you.