the diary game part 33 | A winding journey full of sorrow

Happy to meet again and best wishes to all of us and may grace and guidance be given to all of us so that we are always happy always.
Before I continue this article, let me say hello to all my friends and admins who are always with us and of course very wise in managing this beloved community, he is Mr. @juichi @long888 @loloy2020 @olivia08 @kneelyrac @junebride
On this occasion, again I will continue the description of my story, of course in #thediarygame in the 33rd part, this is a continuation story of the previous story, hopefully what is written will be useful and also inspired all,

Let's go straight to the diarygame part 33

Since the day of birth, all my family and baby needs have always been bought and prepared, and of course every day I go back there every two days, because I don't feel at home there.

Like it or not, I have to continue to live it with all my heart, because I don't want to have more problems in my life, and of course it's clear that in the future there will be things that are not good for my life that I have to face alone and with great patience, of course. .

A blank stare always appears on my face, which is sometimes sad and sometimes smiling even though it's all forced, because it can't be denied that this life will be a nightmare in my life and future. Now I can only surrender and can only hope I will be able to achieve that goodness by myself, because for good and progress I can't be awakened, because there is no one weakness that I can live with, just hoping for self-pleasure without thinking about progress and development of life in the future.

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How very devastated I have been since then, and since the birth of my second child, although I am happy, but there is no perfection in it because with what I hope nothing can ever be seen, really I am confused about all their attitudes and ways of life for a long time. I've known all along.
Since then I have only taken steps to be able to give peace of mind so that I can stem this pain, and sometimes I have to make it a black thing in my life. Now I only hope to continue to be able to carry out my next plan so that there will be changes to become a good family and have politeness from the wife.
What can I do, I do realize that this ordeal is not a small trial, in fact this trial is not a trial that only ordinary people can go through, instead I keep trying to be patient.

Day by day, I went through all of this, with as time passed, I faced many disappointments, many difficulties I went through and even many humiliations for me to be thrown out, even though they were not aware of all that, that they were very dark in life which always to explore my life

I want to scream and be free from the burden of this life, what's more, the burden is increasing, and sometimes it makes me even more unable to avoid such a way of life, oh god.. why did you leave your trust which was so broken that it was difficult for me to direct it to a better one Why is it that their ego always makes a loss in themselves, because actually I have never had a way of life like this that only relies on other people's burdens.

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IN 2019

Years have passed, my son's age has started to look different, since he was born for the second child is somewhat different from the first child, so his growth seems healthy, I hope he will continue to be fine and healthy always even though he is rarely with me.
This year, the process of naming my son started to come back, I'm looking for a good and good name for him,
It's been almost a week since I've been looking for and asking for a good name for my son and this was found, so the name I gave at that time was AFKAR ALHABSYI The name my wife chose for our second child,

How happy I am after being able to give the name, and hope that there will be goodness for him, so since then we have held a little feast to inaugurate the name for my son.
Since naming . I have often brought it back to my private house, even though until now my house is still not complete, there is no kitchen for the house, and the well for taking water sources is not yet clear, so we live it with the existing conditions.
How difficult it is for us to do this, but what can we do than stay in a house that is not our own home, it would be more comfortable to have our own home even though the facilities are not complete.
Even though I feel there is no satisfaction, I still hope that in the future it will always be good for our lives.

Someday in the near future, I will hope to be able to build a kitchen space for our house, but I must think about all that first because it can't be done with a small fee.
So that night, I tried to discuss with my wife about this plan, and…………..continued on part 34

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@ustazkarim