My wife hates our swimming pool. She hates the underwater effects that come alive at night. When you stand over the pool at night, you think you are seeing weeds and schools of fish swimming in circles.
Well, I didn't pay all that money for it so I can listen to my wife complain about how it freaks her out.
I loved to swim at night. When my wife and 5 year old daughter, Mara are asleep.
But since the accident I no longer swam.
I lie outside every evening, watching the sun go down. The lights on the pool would come on and I would curse, my body and curse the man who hit my car, driving it off the road.
Tonight, I lay there and I watch the pool. The lights are not as bright. They look dim from where I am. I can hear my wife moving about in the house. I can hear laughter too. My older brother and his family have been staying with us since I returned from the hospital. The come to help out and keep me company, but when I look in my wife's eyes, I see the same wish: that they would leave.
But we say nothing.
Not even when their daughter started appearing in Mara's dresses. Mara make a fuss and my wife would try to quieten her and give her half-hearted lectures on sharing and kindness.
Tonight, I lie on the recliner and watch the pool's dim lights. The night creeps in as I sit there, suddenly realizing how very lonely I am in this house . This house with its pool and my quietly angry wife and daughter and older brother and his family.
Suddenly I am aware of Ta, my brother's youngest daughter, standing at the poolside in the green dress Mara wore last Christmas and staring into the water. My heart lurches. Who left the gate of the pool enclosure open?
I'm preparing to get up when I see Mara come out of the house and I sit back down. My wife and I had trained her on the dangers of the pool…
… take her inside and lock the gate…
Mara is walking towards Ta. Ta looks back then resumes watching the water. Mara seems to say something because Ta looks back again then looks away…
… Mara, take her away from there…
I see Mara reach for Ta. Relief washes through me…
...and lock the gate…
Mara takes hold of Ta's shoulder and pushes her into the pool…
I scream.
I start getting up.
Then it hit me suddenly that I can't do either. The accident had paralyzed me and taken away my voice. All I can do is scream at my daughter in my mind, but she can't hear me.
My wheelchair is beside me. I say a silent prayer for strength then try to reach for it, begging God to let my limbs work this once, just once, only once, this once.
Instead I fall out of the recliner onto the marble floor.