Lois: A Story Written for the Ink Well Fiction Writing Challenge #2 - Bad Habits

in hive-170798 •  5 years ago  (edited)


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Lois liked to be late.

Tonight her scheme was working perfectly. The teachers' lot was full by the time she pulled in, and not a soul in sight. They were all in the meeting. She relaxed her hands on the steering wheel and leaned against the seat.

"We're late, Lois!" The voice, coming through a slightly open window, startled her. She recognized it instantly. Edwin. Edwin Mueller. Just when she thought the coast was clear. Oh, the weariness of it.

"Yeah, I noticed, Edwin." He seemed to wince. She enjoyed the fact that he understood her rebuke. How many times had he asked her to call him Ed?

He lingered by the car door, which remained firmly closed. As did her window, except for the small crack she'd allowed for air.

"You go on, Edwin. I'll be a minute."

He hesitated a moment. Then, “See you in there.”

She glanced at him.

Now she'd be even later. But that was OK. What were they going to do? Fire her? Not likely. And they’d be doing her a favor. Maybe then she’d finally have a reason to leave town.

She opened the car door after Edwin had disappeared into the building. As she placed her feet on the gravel, she admired them. Petite. Perfect.

She smoothed the wrinkles in her beige coat and looked up at the school windows. They’d been prepping the building for days, getting ready for parent-teacher night.

A wave of dread swept over her. Another night of pretending.

The halls were mercifully quiet, but heavy with the odor of disinfectant. Teachers were in the faculty room, getting a last minute pep talk from the Superintendent. He was new, intent on making changes to an immutable system. He paused when she came into the room--effectively put a punctuation mark on her tardiness.

Everyone looked. So what? She actually congratulated herself on missing part of the lecture. Fortunately, the parents were due soon, so he had to cut off his remarks.

Parent-teacher night. Could she get through it, another room of beaming faces? Why did they think their children were unique? Ordinarily, these were reasonable people, who carried on business throughout the day with a rational perspective. But when they contemplated their own offspring, they transformed into babbling idiots.

Lois had been thinking about moving away for months, ever since her divorce became final. It was impossible to go around town without running into Sam.

She and Sam had been one of those inevitable couples. Back in high school, everyone knew they were going to marry. That was before the two of them knew about life, about themselves.

Lois believed in those days that her future was set. A neat, perfect plan.

She went to the local teacher’s college and he took a job at a nearby computer repair store. She liked kids and he was great with computers.

The job at the school was as inevitable as her marriage had been. She fit in seamlessly, alongside people who had taught her when she was a child.

She and Sam talked about having children. They couldn't decide on two or three. Then Sam, inexplicably, enlisted.

There was a plan. A perfect plan. And he smashed it. Why? It wasn’t his war. So far away, in the Middle East. What was the U.S. even doing there?

Sam returned, but they never talked about children again. Because Sam, the real Sam, never came back. Whatever happened, over there, destroyed him. The man who got off the train in Sam's uniform, wasn't her husband. Didn't even look like him. This stand-in was gaunt, old and humorless.

She realized how hard it must have been. The things he must have seen. But he was home now. He had to move on. It was bad enough a whole chunk of time had been taken from them. How did it help to mope?

She gave the marriage a few years, but he never did come around. She had a right to be happy. Nobody could blame her for leaving him. But some did.

She was tired of teaching. Tired of other people’s children. She watched the children of her former classmates pass through her room. It was like witnessing her own youth, evaporating. After a while, the kids all looked the same.

Her sense of lost time had become a constant pain she could not escape. She didn't care whether her students learned or not. What difference in their lives would today's lesson make, or tomorrow's lesson?

It was becoming difficult to conceal her disdain from other staff. Surely they saw the way she dawdled when the first bell rang in the morning. That when it rang, it cut right through her.

The parents would be coming through her doorway any minute now. She resisted the impulse to close the door. Not allowed, not tonight. But she hated that gaping entrance, that invitation to intrude on her space.

The taptaptap of a woman's high heels warned her of an approaching parent. Then the first expectant face peaked through the doorway.

"Hi!" The woman was irritatingly cheerful. "Hope I'm in the right class. Jennifer McCann’s mother?”

"Welcome, Ms. McCann. Yes, this is the right place. Jennifer. Lovely child."

Which one was Jennifer? Lois searched her mind. It was, after all, early October. How could she know all of them already?

"If you walk around, you'll see the students have taped name tags to their desk tops. Find Jennifer's desk" (don't ask me where it is) "and sit down there. You'll get an idea of her classroom experience that way."

More parents in the doorway. Tumbling through. Eager. Nary a worried face. Why were they so optimistic?

The rush through the door was probably why she didn't notice Angela, until that smiling face was right in front of her.

Angela, who never had a pimple in high school. Who had a crush on Sam. But he chose Lois. This made the prize more delicious.

"Angela! You have a child in my class?"

Lois wondered, how is it I didn't know this? But, of course, the last name would be different.

"Yes, Rebecca. My youngest."

Rebecca, Rebecca. Which one was Rebecca?

"Lovely child. So well behaved."

Change the subject fast. "I haven't see you around town..."

"Just moved back. Remember I went to UCLA? Well, I got a job out there, with NIKE. As soon as there was an opening in the New York office I transferred. But I travel a lot. Rick, my husband, takes over at home."

Angela paused and looked at Lois expectantly.

"And you? Sam? How's he doing? Any kids?"

Lois stiffened, though she tried not to show it.

"He's fine, but we're not together anymore."

Was that satisfaction in Angela's eyes?

"Oh, that's too bad. You seemed like the perfect couple."

"Yes, well. Excuse me, Angela. We'll have to catch up over coffee sometime. Parents are coming in..."

"Of course, of course. Give my love to Sam, I mean, if you see him, or..." She shrugged her shoulders awkwardly.

The night did not end. Parents left. Angela left. But the night would not end.

Lois waited until she heard the cleaners in the hall and she was sure all the teachers had left. She collected her beige coat from the closet. For the first time she realized it looked worn. Funny she'd never seen that before.

The hallways stank of people, of tired deodorant and low-shelf perfume.

Her car stood alone at the back of the parking lot. She remembered Edwin, standing outside looking down at her. Had he been admiring her, or was he feeling sorry for her? Did they all feel sorry for her?

She sat down and put her hands on the steering wheel. The sobs began slowly, and then filled the car and the dark parking lot.

Which was empty, the way she liked it.

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This story was written in response to a prompt provided by @raj808, in the inkwell community. @raj808 said I could interpret the prompt loosely, and I did. Here are the essential elements of the prompt:

I would like you create a character with a bad habit....Write a story with at least two character, the main one with the bad habit and other secondary characters. Then @raj808 adds, The twist: the bad habit turns out to be a force for good. In some way show how the main character's bad habit helps someone, or improves the lives of the other characters, the main character, or both.

I knew I could come up with a bad habit (Lois likes to be late), and with secondary characters. Raj said I didn't have to use his twist but could go in my own direction. You see that Lois' habit doesn't help anyone.

A beehive of creative activity is going on at the Inkwell. Anyone who likes to write should check out this dynamic community. Thanks, @raj808 for the opportunity to stretch my creative muscles.

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The Pixabay picture used in the beginning and adapted at the end is credited to Layers I think it's a great drawing. She seems to be a talented artist.

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I like it! I like the story, how subtle the emotional built up is presented as we see Lois' background, I like to see how she finally breaks. She wears that cynic face to mask her scars and her unfulfilled dream of having a loving family with children. I feel sorry for Lois, but I am sure she would throw everyone's pity in the trashcan as she is too proud to let others see that she remains a fragile hurt woman inside. So many people do it everyday for their own personal reasons.
That was a great piece! 🌼
Take care!

Thank you, dear @ruth-girl. 🌺
Sometimes, when I write a piece I have a particular reader in mind. In this case, I thought of you and some of the characters you have created in your stories. I had a feeling you would "get" Lois. We are all so complex, and imperfect, often hurting ourselves as much as anyone else.
Forgive me for suggesting this, but I think you should write. And I think you should polish your already-written stories, put them together with your new ones and make a compilation. This you can publish as a short story collection. If publishers don't want it, that's OK. You can publish the book on your own. Even if no one buys the book (I've been there!) it's still a great thing. Your family and friends will treasure it, and your kids one day will have it as a legacy.
I have published such books for myself, and for others. Cost absolutely nothing. Do your own formatting and cover art. Upload on Amazon (and Smashwords, if you want an ebook)
Hope I'm not being presumptuous. All that creativity needs an outlet :))
With great affection and respect, 🌞 🌟
Your mature, New York friend,
AG

Apologies for taking so long to reply, I had read your comment, but every time I wanted to sit and write back something else happened.
I love those pieces where you have to figure out the emotional background of the characters, the strikes that carved them into what we can see now, it's intriguing, like searching the answer to a mystery (all human souls are a mystery after all).

Writing takes commitment and a very specific emotional state. There has been some denial in me the past months, mostly because of the too much workload, but I've been thinking the same as you. I need to polish my old pieces (I have this one in mind in particular, one of my favorites and one that I'm proud of, my Lilith! https://steemit.com/writing/@ruth-girl/why-lilith-part-vii It needs a good ending and a nice polishing, let's see when I'll find the will to work on it).

Self-publication huh? It has occurred to me once, but never really decided to do so. I've read a post here in the past, it said that you can publish your writing on Amazon for free, I don't remember which steemit user that was though. Perhaps I need to get more serious with that.

Thank you so much for all the honest support and care!! It always puts a smile on my face reading your comments. 😊

Take care and stay safe!
Ruth

Dear Ruth, 🌷
No apologies. I'm a retired grandmother, with the luxury of time. Often I don't comment on a post because I don't want to intrude, and am never disappointed when there's no response.

Lilith:

Wow! That's some story. And to read it now, during a pandemic--there is startling resonance. You take such care with the story, with every word, every sentence. Casual readers will miss signs of meticulous editing. But writers will see it.

As for self-publishing:
To encourage you I'm linking to the Amazon page that lists some of my books. I went a bit wild at self-publishing a few years back. It is so easy and satisfying. My daughter owns these books and gets about $35 a month in sales for all of them :)) Only one that really sells is Jonas Salk: The Battle Against Polio.
https://www.amazon.com/s?i=stripbooks&rh=p_27%3ARhythm+Prism+LLC&s=relevancerank&text=Rhythm+Prism+LLC&ref=dp_byline_sr_book_1
There's another list under A. G. Moore with overlapping titles (I really wrote a lot of books !!)
https://www.amazon.com/s?i=stripbooks&rh=p_27%3ARhythm+Prism+LLC&s=relevancerank&text=Rhythm+Prism+LLC&ref=dp_byline_sr_book_1
On this list, the only one that ever sold decently was A Lupus Handbook. I give that away free now as an ebook.

I do not expect a response to this email. You are busy, I know.

I wish you happiness and bright days ahead.🌞

With great affection (and respect for your writing skills)
AG

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  ·  5 years ago (edited)

This is a fantastic story and I'm glad you figured out how to post it with us at the ink well.

What I particular love is the way you get into the head of Lois and that slightly self centered way she seems to view people. I've known many people like that who are good deep down, but view people based on status or what they can give them. I dunno, you might completely disagree with my estimation of her character.

She realized how hard it must have been. The things he must have seen. But he was home now. He had to move on. It was bad enough a whole chunk of time had been taken from them. How did it help to mope?

This is what clinched it for how I felt about the character of Lois. It is complex with her need for kids etc, but something about her just gets my goat. For example here, it's completely obvious Sam is going through PTSD, believe me I recognize the signs.

But she is more interested in her wants and needs.

It's a sign of a great character writer when they can elicit such feelings in the reader.

Thanks for sharing this with us at the ink well. It's a story I'm going to come back to for a second read tomorrow before I write my own entry for the prompt/challenge 🙂

Thank you, Raj! I really appreciate your critique and your positive review :)
I don't disagree with you. When I first conceived of this character, she was completely shallow. But that didn't give her room for growth. There was no 'arc'. I realized that she had to be more complex than that.
Lois certainly seems to lack self-awareness, and empathy. And yet, I hope we leave the story with some sympathy for her.
I thought of this character long ago, but could never put her down on paper properly. Your prompt helped me to focus on a 'bad habit'. From her isolation (self-imposed?) grew deliberate tardiness. A way to separate.
So, thank you for the prompt. You brought Lois to life.
Can't wait to read your story.
(Right now I'm looking up pictures of the double helix for my next science blog...another one of the several hats I wear on the blockchain. I do love this place.)
Be well and of course, continue to create :)
Regards,
AG

When I finished the story, I felt her crumbling. A great deal of effort went into not having to communicate in any meaningful way with other humans. I've always thought that chronically late people do that to control the situation, and this character controls her interactions with others by being late. I see the bad habit as shunning human contact, and being late is one of her tools for effecting that. Even when folks reach out, as Edwin did, she finds some way to push them away. Being late is sort of a strength in this story, in that she gets what she wants, isolation, by doing it.

This is a very sad story. I feel so much pain in her. That line about being a teacher shows her childhood evaporating really struck me.

Excellent portrayal of a very sad and lonely person, who probably presents as a simple snob. Wonderful submission to the challenge AG. A very compelling story.

Thank you,@owasco.
Funny, when I write a story I grow with the character. At least that's true for the stories that work. Lois is sad, very sad. She doesn't mean to hurt, but does, especially herself. She began in my head as almost a caricature--uncaring, self-centered, vain. But that was impossible. That just didn't work, realistically. Then I looked underneath and saw all the defense mechanisms, all the rationalizations, that ruined her life and hurt others.
I'm glad you saw the complete person. Imperfect, unhappy, alone. Yes, a snob on the outside, but, as is true with most of us, very complicated.
You're a good reader and an intuitive person. I just read your cat post. Heading over there for a comment. Love that cat, love that dog, love Patches.
Regards,
AG

Ooh, that line leaped out at me, too: she was now teaching the children of her peers, and she was now a peer of those who had taught her. The passage of time. Ouch. This hit me when the children I used to babysit were now seeking babysitters for their own children. Why are we surprised to see children growing up? If we could see cousin Bobby remain age five forever, we'd be saying what's wrong with this kid, that he isn't astonishing us by having done the usual thing kids do, grow up....

How cool that Raj's prompt brought to life a character who's been in your mental repertoire, awaiting the right time to come forth, @agmoore!


This post was shared in the Curation Collective Discord community for curators, and upvoted and resteemed by the @c-squared community account after manual review.
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Thank you! Your support is very much appreciated.

Hi @agmoore2

I just wanted to stop by to let you know that I chose your excellent story for submission to OCD's new community curation initiative, which you can read more about here and your short story has been featured in their community compilation of the best authors from a variety of the new hive communities.

The Ink Well is one of around 6 communities chosen to submit posts daily for both the ocd vote and inclusion in their publication. This is the edition you were recently featured in, which includes my review of why your post so impressed me:

OCD Daily: Community Issue #517

I'm really happy about this development for our community and hope you will continue to post your excellent work at The Ink Well as we're really impressed, and value great creative writing here.

All the best, and thank you for being an active contributor at The Ink Well 🙂

Thank you, Ink Well! I write because it's fun, and it helps me grow. Sharing in a community and having an audience makes the exercise richer. I'll try to be a consistent supporter and contributor :)

Showing up late and missing out on the speeches and preliminaries: I totally identify with her ! She actually congratulated herself on missing part of the lecture. Fortunately, the parents were due soon, so he had to cut off his remarks. But then she doesn't know the names of her students, two months or more into the term? And doesn't care. This woman is clinically depressed. Or cynically something. You've put us in her POV with great skill and finesse, and this is a polished, professional piece. I kept hoping that she would come around to some kind of insight or revelation to brighten her mood. Maybe the release of emotion at the end is going to be cathartic? You've captured the immobilizing sense of grief or futility, the "why bother," why care, kind of feeling that so many of us know all too well. Excellent writing; sad subject!

Thank you, @carolkean. Yes, she is trapped. Hard to blame her, even, because her lack of insight is paralyzing. Hurts her, hurts the students, hurts Sam.
Thank you for assessing my writing skills positively. You know craft, so that means a lot. In writing, I look not only to cut extraneous material, but also to keep the trajectory logical.
Glad you think I achieved those goals (at least I'm guessing you did).
Looking forward to seeing more great writing in the Ink Well.

Yes, you achieved your goals, and yes, your writing is succinct, economical, but powerful and compelling!
After all the hurting you've depicted so well, I'm ready to see the start of some healing. Maybe in a future story. ::)

Right now I'm listening to soothing jazz and watching comedies (in the background). Have to be positive with all that is going on.
An upbeat story is always welcome :)

Comedies, cat videos on you tube, jazz, happy music, all my usual go-to's, and all week long, cat CRAFTS, omg, I've been painting craft stuff. Gaaaahh!! It'd be relaxing, like sewing would be if I ever got stuff right the first time. The eyes are too close together. Just can't fix it this late in the game.

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I love that cat! When I paint, all I can do impressionist landscapes and abstracts. Can't realistically represent anything.
Wonderful you can to that

You are waaay too kind!
Thank you so much!
I can't do landscapes, and I have now obliterated poor Marcel and will start over again tomorrow trying to make his eyes look like the eyes of a cat with high anxiety.

Ha Ha Ha
Laughing out loud.