Analysis of the book how to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie Part II: The Big Secret of Dealing with People

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To deal with a small or large number of people you have to be a leader, because people are going to manage to do what you want as a leader as long as you manage to convince them to do some specific activity to achieve certain specific objectives.

Perhaps the people who have not been able to have this influence on others is because they have not applied well certain criteria that first must be learned to apply and in this way know how to deal with people, once we know how to deal with people we can manage to lead them as far as we want.

The idea of knowing how to deal with people is to finally get them to do what we want without having to subject or scare them, for example someone can get your child to do his homework because he is threatening to beat him up. An employee may be able to get a job done because his boss is threatening to fire him.

When we look at such threatening and hostile examples, many of us might say that this way of subjugation doesn't work, so how do we get someone else to do what we want in a non-threatening way?

In reading the book I realize that we are advised that simply to get someone else to do what we want we have to give them what that person wants. But I would really go beyond that philosophy, since the day we have nothing to offer then we will not get that person to do what we want, unless we resort to the threatening methods I explained at the beginning, which make us waste our time because nothing forced is good.

Then many will ask:

What do you propose about it?

Remember I said that in order to get small masses or large masses of people to do what we want it is necessary to stand before them with characteristics of a leader and not a boss, a leader always goes to the front of the battle, another characteristic of the leader is to act with psychology, When we want another person to do what we want, the most important thing is to be sure that we are treating that person well in order to ensure a good relationship, and being sure of that, then we must let that person know that we want him to do it for the benefit of a majority, and that personally, if the person does it, even he will win.

"I consider," said Schwab, "that the greatest good I possess is my ability to
to awaken enthusiasm among men, and that the way to develop the best that
in man is through appreciation and encouragement.

^{Textual quotation: How to Win friends and influence People by Dale Carnegie}

When we have leadership skills I think we will be able to raise that enthusiasm in front of other people so necessary to get other people to do what we want, it is like what I have been explaining, that instead of convincing someone to do something by force is preferable to convince with enthusiasm and if possible generate a favorable environment where it raises the self-esteem of all.

"Nothing can kill a person's ambitions as much as the criticism of his
superiors. I never criticize anyone. I believe that a person should be given an incentive
to work. That's why I'm always eager to praise, but I'm reluctant to
find defects. If I like something, I am warm in my approval and generous in my
praise."

^{Textual quotation: How to Win friends and influence People by Dale Carnegie}

I share this part of the book 100%, since many times many of us who have our supervisors take initiatives that in turn are highly criticized by our bosses, causing our morale and self-esteem to drop making it difficult for us to end up meeting our goals.

If we seek the criticism to achieve that our supervisors comply with their activities, we must give them incentives to raise their self-esteem and find various reasons to fight for the interests of a particular company or to achieve the objectives set by the board of directors.

Like many other people I like to be praised and congratulated, which is why I think that if I like other people may also like, this form and availability to be able to praise others can serve as a tool in dealing with people and to get them to do what we want.

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