Love is always looking for a way to express itself, and this pandemic can make us think about it, because it could happen that we have not identified the way in which we are expressing affection, and how we like to receive it. This lack of knowledge may be causing problems when it comes to codifying these expressions and you may feel dissatisfied.
Observing ourselves and studying those around us will be a good task for this week, as it will help us to identify their coding of love. An American counsellor named Gary Chapman has established five languages that are coded to express affection, and it is a great contribution to understand ourselves and our environment.
Sometimes we have problems, especially with our partners, because maybe we are not understanding how they love us and what they like us to give them. The love languages are: affective words, expression through gifts, physical contact, quality time and acts of service.
Some people express affection through words. They like to use affectionate terms of endearment, appraisal, congratulations. However, this is their way of loving, but it does not imply that whoever accompanies you likes this form of expression, as they may not be as auditory as you are. It does not imply that he/she does not love you, but that he/she responds to another language.
For some people love is expressed in details and seeks to shower you with them; however, you may prefer to be spoken to more nicely. Understanding that this is their way of loving you and valuing it is a good action to make them feel accepted, being important that whoever accompanies us knows that this may not be our language.
Other people are kinaesthetic, they love hugs, a massage, being groomed, caressed and pampered through contact. Is this your way of loving?
Some people are extremely busy, and taking time out of their schedule to spend with you is an incredible way to express their love. Do you know someone like this?
A good group of people express their affection through actions, such as cooking for you, mending their clothes, getting their car fixed, or anything else they can do to please you.
We see then, that we do not all love in the same way, and perhaps ignorance of this situation has caused us to have problems in relating to each other. Understanding, empathy and acceptance are fundamental to keep us in balance. I hope that at this point in the reading, you are already identifying your way of loving and that this will be of great help.
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Greetings friend @lynnmargullys. I agree with you not all of us have the same way of expressing our feelings, one of the most important elements in a couple is the communication in this way the relationship flows, and we are more aware of our emotions, that way we will show the partner how we want to be loved, Thank you Greetings
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Good to have you here Sandra. Indeed, we have all agreed that communication is elementary. This contribution by Gry Chapman helps us to recognise and understand the other, because the fact that they don't have the same language doesn't mean that they don't love us... a big hug.
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I had already read about this book by my namesake Gary. Also about the 5 love languages, from which I believe I identify the words and acts of service. It is important to identify them in ourselves and in others in order to speak to them in the same language and also to let others know how we handle ourselves in the affective field.
Thank you for bringing up such an important topic.
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Hi @lynnmargullys, this content you just posted reminded me of one of my college classes on the types of intelligences, in short the way we are loved will be hand in hand with how we do it and for it to be something effective communication must prevail, this way our partner can be aware of our emotions and how we want to be loved and vice versa. Now can you imagine a relationship where there is no communication and the result would be divorce or dysfunctional marriages. Greetings
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Indeed, each person is different, and it shows even in the way he or she learns. As you say, communication will be necessary to understand the other. The important thing is to know that it is a different world from yours, and that this is not wrong. Thank you for your contribution.
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Looking at the types of love I guess I'm not in any specific one exactly, since having a mix between those might be bigger love, or I'm wrong?
Love is beautiful in every way, no matter how it's expressed, as long as the other side understands that's your way of showing love then that's the most important. Love through gifts kinda feels not right for me, because most of the time the one receiving gifts might not appreciate it if he/she didn't fall in love, so that might turn into using.
Anyone who is looking to fall in love shall choose the right person so no matter the way love is expressed, it will always be meaningful.
Nice read, thanks for sharing!
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Thank you for this significant contribution, in fact, I also feel that I have a little bit of several. The important thing, I think, is to understand that the other person may not be receiving the signal because they don't have those receptors and that we don't see that as a bad thing. Besides, there is a very important love, and it is your own love, that will allow you to know if you are used or not and to choose the right person, as you say... Wonderful contribution Thank you!
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