Relationships - How to make them work?

I think we can all agree on the fact that relationships are one of the most important things in life and at the same time basic human connection. Humans need human interaction, without each other we are not able to fully operate in our life. Everybody on this earth has relationships, everything we do with an other person makes a connection between us. Because of that it is in fact important that we take care of those relationships, how we treat the others will have a huge effect on our personal life including how we feel, how happy and satisfied we are. Without these we would be completely alone with our problems, we would be vulnerable and life would be simply boring.

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The base of a relationship

So what is a relationship? How does it start? What do you have to do to make it better? Why is it so important to have a good relationship?

A relationship is a connection between people, a good relation can be a shield, it can be a safe place, it can help you through the hardest times of your life, it is something that feed your emotional need, the need to be connected to someone.

How your relationships are depends also on you, it is influenced by you, how you are and where you are in your life. The success of a relationship is in you, when you are self aware, when you know your principles, when you know how to love and respect yourself you can start a healthy relationship with someone. You need to get to know yourself first in order to build a healthy relationship. There's a lot of things in a relationship that can make it better or worse, what in fact important is that you do what you say, it will show the others how trustworthy you are, and on the longterm there is nothing more important in life than being reliable. It is a proven fact, when you want to loved, when you want to make a good impression and when you want the people to feel close to you, the first thing you have to show is your warmth, because evolutionary in the end of the day what important is that the people around you can be trusted, your chance is to survive is more likely when you have someone, who is kind and trustworthy. The people will always look at your actions and not your words, the best would be of course when your words and actions would be always in a harmony, but of course it is not always the case. All this to achieve you have to have a clear picture of yourself, what you expect from a relationship, what your values are, what important to you. You have to be conscious, when you know you have all these, you can start forming the relationship the way you want it. When you know all this, you will know exactly what kind of relations you want in your own life, in your human interactions.

The set up of a relationship

A relationship builds up between two people, in order to make your relationship work, you have to give effort in it.

But what does it mean?

You have to give your time, you have to be present, you have to from time to time sacrifice things in order to make or to keep your relationship in balance. The balance works only when both of the partners give exactly the same amount of effort in the relationship, when someone gives more, than the balance will be uneven, which can bring the relation to an end. But why?

Imagine that you are always the one who gives the emotional support and your partner takes everything you give, but he does not support any of your needs. The balance will be no longer there, the two partners in the relationship will not meet on the same level anymore. There will be someone who gives and there will be one who only takes. This unevenness will lead both of the parties discontent, because of this it is significant that we speak with each other about our expectations in a relationship. It can be that there is something for you that is important but for the other one it isn't, to avoid the arguments and the stress you should be able to share your thoughts and feelings, but to do that you have to be conscious and willing to find a solution for the problems.

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How to maintain a good relationship?

The short answer to that question is: keep working on it. In the beginning of a relationship you give literally everything to your love, you are really enthusiastic, you give your time, all your attention and your love to your special one. With the number of the years all this attention fades, it is no longer something new and exciting, you are more aware of the faults of your significant one, it is so much easier now to see the weaknesses of your love and it is now sometimes also harder to love. You might think it is something bad, that real love should never fade, but it is not something easy or self-evident, you have to work for your relationship and to get love you have to give yourself love. You have to give exactly what you would expect from the others. What does that mean? In order to keep someone happy, to keep your relationship working, you have to keep giving your presence. To maintain a heathy relationship you have to be understanding, you have to understand why your partner do what they do, why they react the way they are, when you understand that, you will be so much closer to find a solution to all the occurring problems. You also have to understand the needs, the things that make them feel happy, maybe it is a simple thing like going for a walk, having quality time, or maybe it is when you prepare a surprise or when you do a favour. We are different and we also value different things, in order to know the other you have to understand them.

How do you understand someone?

You have to communicate, you have to share your feelings, your doubts, your fear, what your wishes and values are. When you know each other you can also grow together, help and support each other the way it is the best for everyone.